All About Friendship

I remember a night, many years ago, when I stepped out of the home of a casual friend, slipped on black ice, and landed flat on my ass on a concrete step. As I sat there, in pain, convinced I had broken my tailbone, I heard my best friend ask if I was okay, then looked up and saw her doubled over in pain from laughing.

While I was sitting there, on that frozen concrete step, my butt throbbing in pain, she was laughing hers off. To her credit, she reached out several times to try to help me up, but each time pulled her hand back to clutch her stomach as she continued guffawing.

What did I do?

I sat there on that step and started howling with laughter myself. I forgot all about the pain, all about the embarrassment, and just laughed along with her. It was contagious.

Eventually she did pull me up, after the 4th or 5th attempt. And when I told her about the huge bruise that appeared a couple of days later, she drove me to the doctor and stayed with me while we awaited the x-ray results.

I still think about that episode sometimes, more than thirty years later. And I think “what a bitch.”

Nah, just kidding. Truth is, if I had seen myself flop down on that step, limbs flailing like a goofy orangutan falling out of a tree, I’d have laughed too! I’d have howled actually.

And that, my friends, is what friendship is about to me. The ability to laugh together, even when it’s not appropriate. Even when it’s painful.

Here’s the thing. If either of us had witnessed that same scene happen to a stranger, we would not have laughed. We would have helped them up, asked if they were okay, then went about our business.

Yes, we likely would have laughed about the clumsiness of it after. But not in front of that stranger. You have to have a special bond with someone to fall into a fit of unbridled laughter when they’re making a complete ass of themselves. It’s the bond of a friend you know gets you, like totally gets you.

It’s a friend who will pick you up when you’re down (even if it takes a few attempts) and make you laugh to forget your pain. It’s a friend who’ll poke fun at you when you do something stupid, but proudly stand by your side for the world to see. And heaven forbid, someone who doesn’t share that bond tries to get involved. Your friend will defend you to the death.

It’s a friend who’ll be there with open arms when you need them and one who’ll find you when you don’t even realize you’re lost. It’s a person who’ll tell you with a grin, “it could be worse,” when you confide how shit you feel your life has been, then remind you how much better the world is with you in it.

The best kind of friend will show up when you need them, and even when you think you don’t. They’ll know you well enough to know when you need a push. They will give that push, and they’ll jump on the ride with you. Then they’ll laugh their ass off when the ride leaves you hanging precariously upside-down, protected only by that thin metal bar which is your best friend’s grip on what’s left of your collective sanity.

Life’s a carnival at times! Sometimes you feel you’re part of it, and sometimes you’re just the audience. Whatever the case, the best of your friends will be there with you in that place. They’ll ride the rides with you. You’ll play all the games together, and subtly (or not so) remind each other when you’ve had enough.

You’ll navigate through the flashing lights and sirens and protect each other from the clowns who try to steal your happiness. You’ll eat the cotton-candy. You’ll drink the slurpees, and you’ll hold each other’s hair when you’re puking up the undercooked whatever-the-hell-it-was that you got from the food truck.

And when the carnival moves on, when the lights dim and the sirens still, you’ll remember those times and laugh about them. Hopefully for years to come you’ll look back with a smile, remembering the best of times with the best of friends and still laugh about it, even when a few melancholy tears of remembrance sneak onto the ride.

It's often been said that laughter is the best medicine. I say truer words were never spoken, and that the friends you laugh the most with are most certainly the very best friends of all.