Abuse at a Young Age

At the age of thirteen years old I was in an abusive relationship. It started as a secret at twelve years old; he was an older man. He was a friend of the family and at the time I thought that he was such a sweet guy.

One night while my parents were out, he had come over to watch me and as the night progressed he had asked me to be his girlfriend I was young and stupid, to say the least. I didn't know at that time he had a very dark secret. For the first year and a half, everything was great, even wonderful at the time. He had treated me like a queen; bought me gifts and took me out to dinner. At the time I had no clue to think that he would hurt me.

It was then on my thirteenth birthday that I would find out what type of man he truly was. I was at a party with my friends, which at the time they always throw for me. When he had come to the party and called me to him. He was angry about something that I didn't know about. That night was the first time he had hit me. The abuse lasted for six years.

I know by know that you probably wondering why I stayed with him? I've asked myself this question a lot. Fear was a leading motivation for me to stay with him. He had threatened to kill everyone that I loved. I was also, by then, dependent on him. The abuse that I had suffered wasn't just physical but it was also mental and emotional. He had manipulated me so severely that I started to believe what he said. "You won't find anyone who will love you," or "You're a fat and ugly person who would want you," or my personal favorite "You're damaged good and no man would want you."

I survived everything that he threw at me. Years later I found that because of what I have been through, I have flashbacks of the abuse. I write this now because I know that others have gone through what I have been through. There are signs of an abuser that are plain to see.

1. They saw abuse in their childhood and got thinking that it was alright.
2. Past relationship didn't work out nor did they end well.
3. Isolating you from family and friends.

I know that once you truly leave your abuser that can be scary, to say the least, but it is worth it. The road to recovery is a difficult one that takes time and patience. Find someone who you trust and talk to them. Also, seek out professional help, you'll discover that you are not alone in this.

I found help and I found someone who loves me for me. My road to recovery as been a long time and I'm still going through it. Yet I can honestly say that a few years ago I would not have been able to write this article about it. Now I can so I've made a lot of progress with the support and love of my family and friends.