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A Year in the Life: Cheating

It's been a year since I was cheated on, and here's how it changed.

By Jess BrainPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
My ex did not send me this text message, but rather a guy who I knew for a couple of weeks.

2 months into my last relationship, I told him that I had been cheated on once before and it broke my heart' he replied with a simple, "I would never do that to you, I don't have time for that." This was May 2016. I would find out in January 24, 2017 he had cheated on me.

It still shakes me that I was cheated on, and I stayed with the guy for 8 months after that event occurred, because I thought we could rebuild trust, but unfortunately the sparks went away and we broke up.

It is now January 24, 2018, and here is a reflection on my life one year after he cheated.

We broke up in August actually after being at school for two days, he had already found a girl he wanted to hook up with and ditched a year and a half relationship for a drunk hook up. I surprisingly wasn't that upset over the next couple of weeks after we broke up, because I was not worried about him cheating again, since we weren't in a relationship. That stress of him and the unknown was best for my mental health, as now I could go out and talk to boys and live my best life without anything or anyone holding me back. Him cheating on me, which eventually led to our break up, was in retrospect one of the best things that could ever have happened to me.

I also focused on the fact that friendship is better than any relationship you could ever have, except if your significant other is your best friend, but he was not mine. Over the last couple of months I have repaired some friendships that were ruined during the time I was dating him, and understood the importance of girls supporting other girls, and how strong of a bond that can be.

He held me back from my studies as well. I was always focusing on him instead of my school work, but after we broke up my GPA skyrocketed and I was more focused on schoolwork. One of the best feelings I ever had was when my ex and I decided to have a civil conversation over Christmas break and he told me he was doing really well, saying he had a 3.5 GPA this past semester. He looked shocked and probably did not feel special when I told him I had gotten the exact same GPA, verses his 4.2 in high school, and my 3.1. (We went to a weird high school, nevertheless 4.2 was amazing and 3.1 was below average). So getting the same GPA as him was unheard of, until it actually happened.

But the best thing was how other guys treated me. My ex called me "fat" once and then only called me beautiful once over the 18 months. I thought that was how I was supposed to be treated, since I wasn't the best looking or the smartest, or the thinnest. I would go on dates with guys and they would comment on how I looked and how smart I must have to be to do my major. I had never experienced that before and was taken back at how to respond. None of those dates worked out into serious relationships, but it was still nice to hear.

I am thriving now, I've done stuff that I would have been too afraid to do when I was bound to him. Since he cheated on me, I have lost 35 pounds and counting, and I know he sees me thriving through my grades and my experiences, and that may be the best feeling I've ever seen, because he knows that I'm doing great without him.


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