A Team of Heroes

MISCONCEPTION OF HEROES

As a young girl growing up, hearing all of the fairytales and watching all the superhero movies I was convinced of a few things regarding heroes. I was convinced through reading and hearing stories that fairytales only happened for Caucasian people or strange looking people in faraway lands that don't exist and that super heroes either wore a cape, had a superior physical physique or strength, supernatural powers from a scientific malfunction or mishap, or always carried some sort of scepter to show their extraordinary prominence to ordinary people.

I've also noticed that, like history, no matter how many variations of the story, fairytales and heroic stories all had the same key factors and repeated themselves often. Every heroic story had a villain or a group of villains who deserved Karma at its finest, a person in distress and in desperate need of help, a hero who mystically shows up and delivers the Karma in unexpected, ironic or humorous ways that only a true hero could, a fierce fight of good vs evil, and a victory that had the ability to melt just about every spectating heart including the ones made of ice, brick or steel. I've also been taught in primary school that heroes outside of this belief exist as well. Those heroes are called community helpers and the main ones the school system teaches you about are helpers such as: doctors, nurses, pharmacists, teachers, firefighters and police officers. I brought into this wide misconception of fairytales and heroes for many years before realizing that they were exactly that....a misconception or lacked truth of what real heroes actually included.

During my upbringing, there weren't a lot of people that came rushing to my rescue when I needed them the most. Matter of fact, most people who came in and out of my life then, were people coming to look more for what there was to receive rather than to give. Perhaps it was because they were so busy trying to survive and thrive themselves. Either that or they didn't want to stick around to continue watching the drama that was, unbeknownst to me, passively unfolding or forming mountains of challenges for me to overcome later in my life.

I often wondered how these mountains were able to form so mightily in my life. Were my mountains formed because others saw it forming and refused to speak up, because people actually did speak up and I chose not to listen, or because even though I was the first to realize the formation of the mountains, I quickly reasoned with the purpose of their existence; which enabled them to keep growing? Either way, I had major mountains that appeared to be larger than life, until a still small voice reminded me that there was Someone bigger than the mountains I faced, and He had a plan that included sending me heroes.

HEROS DON'T ALWAYS WEAR CAPES AND CARRY SCEPTORS

In 2011, I was introduced to a phenomenal team of heroes that have been committed to showing continuous support for me and my kids still to this day. I see this amazing team of heroes as genuine humbling angels in disguise. Their concern, support, dedication to the purpose and their fight for others survival is nothing short of supernatural. To others who don't have to rely on heroes such as these for support, this may sound like an exaggerated perspective of an unfortunate circumstance to hype up people who are average in your sight. BUT, to someone who knows that their support is a necessity to the healing and continuation of life because of going through similar personal experiences, they would know that one characteristic these heroes don't have...is being average. Who are these heroes? Advocates. It just so happens that my heroes are advocates for domestic violence, and my heroes work at The Women's Community in Wausau, WI. If I were to sit down and write a sincere letter to all of the heroes that work at The Women's Community, it would look like this:

Dear TWC Staff,

I wouldn't be able to do half of the things I'm doing now without the help of God and you. The first time that I met most of you was in 2011, I had 3 children with me at the time, and almost all of us have been broken in one way or the other. My youngest son at the time was only 3 and too young to understand the trauma that his sisters, step brother and I were facing in our home. Even with your support readily available for me, I decided to go back to the voice of intimidation that has been manipulating and controlling my life since the age of 17. Yes, I went back; back to the home that was killing not only me but also my children spiritually, mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically every day we woke up in our home. I went back because life outside of your help seemed scarce and impossible. I lacked the outside support system that I needed at the time, and I also lacked faith. Since 2011, 4 times you helped me because 4 times, I went back to my abuser in hopes for a better outcome and discovered that 4 times, I had to return back to you.

One thing that I noticed and greatly appreciated every time I came back was that your staff passed no judgments, didn't utter a single "I told you so" or ask how come I didn't listen the previous times before. You just accepted me back with open arms, minds and hearts. The main question that you made your mission was: "What do you need?" and you went to work. I did come back to you 4 times, however, it was a total of 10 times that I went back to the man that was slowly erasing me from this earth before I left for good. The last time I came to your shelter was in April of 2020, I had 4 children and 5 broken spirits to help heal and support. I promised myself that it would be the very last time that I would have to bring my children to the point of needing live in any type of shelter. It is now 2022, and I can honestly say that this promise hasn't been broken.

I would like to thank your staff for ALL of the many, many things that you have provided for me and my children. Because of your staff, their integrity, compassion, dedication, love and diligence of seeking resources to help us, I have been able to finally physically break free from the stronghold that has captivated and traumatized 6 lives over a period of 25 years. We're still working on the mental and emotional strongholds that plagued our lives, but I feel the wall of those strongholds growing weaker by the day.

You all have laughed with us, cried with us, listened to us, encouraged us, motivated us, inspired us, shared your lives with us, taught us, and hugged us all both mentally and emotionally during our times of living with you. You let us know it was ok to smile again, it was ok to cry it out, ok to express ourselves in healthier ways and helped us to pinpoint and pull out some of the damaging roots that covered themselves with artificial flowers as an attempt to remain planted in our lives.

You were the other half of support, my co-parent partners, that I didn't have or wasn't able to get for my kids as they tried to resume building their lives. You were the voice of reason, means of support, and sense of security that I needed to assure me and my kids that we got this. Even after we left your shelter, you STILL provided support, considered our family for upcoming available resources and continued to check in on us to see how we are doing. There was and is absolutely NO NEED for any of us to return to the dysfunction and trauma that we left behind...we are now pushing forward, HEALING and learning how to live the lives that we wanted and needed. Thank you.

Thank you so much, all of you, for your sense of compassion and empowerment. Your support allowed my family to live on our own for going on 2 years now. You made what appeared to be impossible, possible and I can't seem to thank you enough. I now understand that all heroes don't always or only carry scepters, wear capes, stethoscopes and badges. Some heroes are simply people with a purpose to change the lives of those who don't know how to or doesn't have the resources or strength to do so on their own. Some heroes are better known as advocates.