A Spill In Time All Set To Unwind

I remember as a child, mom would have some friends over on Saturday nights. Their husbands were police officers and they worked together pulling the 4pm-12am shifts over the weekend. The moms would all get together at our house, play cards, and mostly talk about their kids and sometimes conversations we kids were told to leave the room for. Each of them brought with them a desert they probably worked all day preparing. Of course, as a child this was something I very much looked forward to. The apple strudels, cheese cakes, pies, and double chocolate layer cakes were some of the regular dishes that we kids made sure to dip into for extra servings as the moms were busy chatting in the living room. As we were helping ourselves to all the sweets we could fit into our mouths and swallow with the least amount of chewing, the moms were opening and pouring lots of wine as they celebrated together their “girl’s night”.

Margaret, was the loud mom who did a lot of complaining. I think she complained from the moment she walked in the door. It’s almost as if everyone knew this and most would not even engage her comments but instead skillfully direct her in a new conversation of which there were always at least two or three going on at the same time.

Margaret’s son was Ashton. Ashton was not a complainer at all like his mom, but he was a bit of a house wrecker. He liked to play games in the house that almost always resulted in something being broken. He had a lot of energy and wasn’t interested in any kind of quiet play. Most of the items were little figurines mom had on tables or shelves that were knocked over as Ashton went flying by. None of them were of particular value and mom was enjoying her time so much she hardly paid any mind. His mom would jump up and yell and scream for him to quiet down and stop running but that never resulted in any change in his behavior. I’m guessing he was quite used to hearing that from his mom and without any follow through on his mom’s part, he went about his business as if he didn’t hear her at all.

There was one night in particular where I actually saw my mom was upset. We were playing some hide and seek. Ashton, in his pursuit to find where Liz was hiding, went flying by the coffee table where I had been standing. He flew by so quickly and bumped my side. I lost my balance and toppled onto the table. I just remember the view in my peripheral vision of the glasses of red wine flying off the table right onto mom’s brand new powder blue area rug. Well the rug was ruined. All the moms were in the kitchen so no one had seen how it happened, except Ashton. I was so upset with him when he eagerly pointed out to them how I had lost my balance and fallen. He never mentioned being the one who caused me to fall.

Needless to say, I wasn’t very eager to play with Ashton anymore after that day. I felt betrayed by him and just didn’t trust him anymore. I did miss our play time though and I really missed Ashton. I am sorry I held that against him. We really were the best of buddies but my sense of principles even at 9 years old wouldn’t allow me to forgive him.

Well turned out a few months later his father was moved to a new precinct well out of town. They moved away and I never saw Ashton again after the age of 9.

I am older now and an adult but I often reflect on those nights. They were nights we kids could really let loose as the moms were quite busy with themselves. In fact, to this day, I often think about them when I’m feeling any sense of sadness. They are the times when recalled that instantly bring a smile to my face.

I had a hard time recently when going through my divorce. We had only been married for 2 years and it all unraveled so quickly. I found myself in bed for entire weekends with a lot of time to think. Of all the things to think about, I’d often recall mom’s Saturday nights with the girls. Like I said, these were moments of being free and unfettered by the real troubles of life that just came to mind to bring a smile. I reveled in those moments as a way to escape when adult life was just too difficult to think about.

I wasn’t much into dating but wanted very much to move on past my divorce and start re-building so I had to take the plunge in order to do so. My husband was my everything and so much so that I lost contact with many of my friends during the time we were together. My sister was the friend I would often force into going out with me to night clubs and events where I might just meet someone. She was happily married and her husband wasn’t thrilled with her going out to clubs with me. Eventually, I felt just too guilty to even ask. I didn’t want to be the reason for ruining that great relationship.

There was a casino near by and a place we would head out to some Friday nights when her husband was planning to get together with his friends to watch sporting events.

One Friday night, I was driving up to the place. The sun was glaring and just setting in the sky. So bright, I nearly hit the valet guy as I drove up. Nothing much different about this early night, well not yet, anyway. We weren’t big gamblers so we’d take our $100 and make an all night-er out of it. On this night we started out as we usually did. We head straight to the lounge where the live music would play, have a drink or two and enjoy the music.

The place like most casinos had their share of peddlers down to their last dime begging for change for food or change for their bus ride home. First few times I fell for the stories but soon became wise to the casino scams of which there were many. They weren’t looking for food or a bus ride. They were the hard core gamblers itching to try another round on the tables or slots sure their next bet was going to be the big one. I remember saying to myself, this is not the kind of place I want to meet someone at. I would just settle on having some fun with my sister and glad to not be at home sitting on the couch watching movies alone.

The band playing in the lounge was terrific. The music was just my kind and I made sure to drag my sister out onto the dance floor where we danced until we broke out into a sweat. It felt so nice to let loose and really enjoy myself without the notion of finding someone in the crowd who might be my next date.

There were plenty of men and even handsome men I might have been interested in who were peering at us from the bar as we danced. I was not about to engage any of them though. This was a night to just be free and have fun.

One man in particular was looking at me as if he knew me. You know that long stare that isn’t creepy but more inquisitive. He was quite handsome and had a bit of a mischievous smile that I couldn’t help but take notice of. None the less, I caught myself and looked away even after making eye contact and smiling back.

My sister and I strolled off the dance floor after what felt like hours of dancing. I was actually out of breath. I hadn’t danced that long in ages. I started to really feel like myself again.

We walked back to the bar and the bartender who knew the both of us from our few prior visits was gesturing with his arm for us to come over to the bar. He was saying something as we got closer but the music was so loud I couldn’t hear him. I wondered, what could he want? We liked him very much. He always found a way to find space for us at the bar and to serve us rather quickly even as the bar was completely full. I wondered if he had a crush on me. I didn’t see him doing that for anyone else. We did always leave him a nice tip as an appreciation though, so perhaps he was just appreciative of that. I wasn’t very good at reading when someone was interested. It would have to be pretty blunt for me to get it.

Well, we walked over to the bar and he had in his hand a glass of Merlot. He said it was from the man across the bar. I looked over to the other side of the bar and there was that smile again. Turns out it was the man who was watching me dance and who I had smiled back at. First thought was, how did he know I would like Merlot? Odd thought, I know, for a first thought. Then I thought, of course, he must have asked the bartender if he knew what I liked. I smiled softly back at him with a nod of thanks. I guess that was all he needed as he quickly started squeezing his way through the crowd and making his way over towards me.

As he approached, I couldn’t help but notice how charming he looked. It was really his smile that got to me. I wasn’t planning to make this a night for meeting anyone in particular but thought how could I resist a smile like that.

I held my glass of Merlot in my hand and was sipping it as he approached. Surprisingly, the first words he said to me were, “Now don’t spill that on your pretty blue dress”. Something triggered in my mind, something familiar, but I couldn’t quite grasp what is was. I thought it odd to make such a statement to someone you just met. Was there something about me that looked clumsy? He then introduced himself and said, “it’s Ashton, great to see you again”! Ashton was not a common name and quickly my mind went back in time to the Ashton who visited during mom’s Saturday nights.

I was shocked! I wondered how he recognized me when the last time we saw each other I was only 9 years old. He later mentioned how he had recently looked for me on social media and did find me but felt awkward writing after so many years and would feel even more awkward if I didn’t remember him.

We talked all night and of course, also shared our many memories of mom’s Saturday night girl’s nights. Clearly he remembered the incident where he bumped me and all the wine glasses went spilling to the floor. I finally did get my apology and I was very happy to forgive him. In fact, two nights later we met up for our first date at a lovely restaurant where he made sure to arrive early and have a glass of Merlot already ordered and waiting for me at the table. That sort of became our thing as we continued to date. Never did I get to the table without the glass of Merlot already there for me.