A Possible Reality of Online Dating

I had just about given up on finding "the one". Dating for me was a seemingly never ending heartache. Either the guy wasn't interested at all, was a cheating jerk, or was extremely controlling.

It was July 2009. I had been single for about a month. My Father was over for a visit, and the topic of dating came up. Now for some this may seem like it would be a uncomfortable topic of discussion to have with your father, but for me it wasn't at all. That is, until he mentioned online dating. "Ya know Jess, maybe you should try online dating?" Said my Dad. "What?! Are you kidding? Seriously Dad? Isn't that where all the real assholes are?" I replied in disgust. "Well actually, No. Not If you pick a good dating site, one where you have to pay for your account. Like Match.com." Said my Dad. "I don't think so Dad." I sighed. "Well think about it. At least that way you can kind of filter out the jerks." We both laughed as he kissed me on my forehead as he walked out the front door.

I flopped down onto the couch. I looked over at my lap top sitting on the desk. I thought about my most recent relationship and the trash bag of empty alcohol bottles he had been hiding from me, and how relieved I was that it was over. I looked at the lap top again. "It's worth a shot." I said to myself. Now, what site do I choose? I guess Match.com it is.

I created my account. I felt so confident because I got to make it clear through my profile that I loved camping, fishing, 4x4in', backpacking, and most importantly that I was an Aries. I was competitive so whoever was reading my profile would understand they had better be ok getting their butts kicked at things like bowling and pool sometimes. Along with some of my best looking pictures, I also put pictures of myself without makeup and dirty from camping. I was thrilled of the thought of being able to be myself! DONE! I clicked submit. A window popped up saying my account would be under a 24 hour review. I closed the lap top and called it a night.

The next day I went to work as usual and ironically the day seemed to drag. Finally 5pm came. I'm not going to lie. I was excited all day. Perhaps on edge. Would this be a new chapter in my life? I was doubtful. I knew that meeting someone online came with some huge risks, and you just never know what you might be getting yourself into. Not to mention my luck dating was just horrible. With that thought in mind I wasn't hopeful . When I got home I looked at the laptop almost in dismay. I was reluctant to open it. And as a matter of fact I did everything I possibly could to keep myself busy enough to not open it. I fed myself a meal. Leftovers. I took a hot bath. The thought of having to scroll through tons of profiles looking for some man just seemed daunting. It almost made me feel sick to my stomach. I didn't want it to go this way. Why couldn't the man of my dreams find me? I wanted my Prince charming! I wanted my Knight in shining armor to come rescue me from all the hellish relationships I had had so far. I was only 25. Was I being unrealistic ? I came from a family with divorced parents so maybe I was being completely unrealistic maybe "the one" was just a myth.

I open up my laptop. and went to the match.com website. It has been roughly 3 hours since my 24 hour account approval period was over. I was so surprised to find that I had a message! Drowning in stubborn pride. I thought to myself "No way! Way to soon! Nope!" and I slammed the laptop shut not even bothering to read the message. The following day I couldn't work. The curiosity of who the person was that had messaged me consumed me to the point I finally I gave in. I logged in. To my surprise there was actually a second message from the same person. I thought to myself "persistence is good." I opened the first message and it was a pretty basic uncomfortable message where you could tell that the writer was pretty nervous. The second message is what really caught my attention. He said "Hi this is Chris again. I'm so sorry to bother you. I promise I'm not a creep or some crazy guy. Its just I've been looking at your profile over and over. I would really love to talk to you."

I decided to look over his profile and boy I was glad I did! He was so gorgeous! His pictures made my heart flutter! Finally! His pictures showed him 4x4in' and out playing in the dirt! At that moment I remembered what my dad had told me about how these sites match you with people you have things in common with. I thought to myself thank you God! Thank you Dad! I took a deep breath and I responded to his message.

After I responded to his message, for a week straight we were on the phone 24/7. Text messaging and then after we each got off work we would be on the phone for hours, literally till 3-4 o'clock in the morning. We would get up for work early the next day and do it all over again. Finally he asked me if he could take me on a date. Our first date is a story of its own!

That date turned into an 11 year adventure! 3 months after meeting on Match.com we married. I even got 2 weddings! That I'll save for a different story. We have the exactly definition of a fairy tale romance!

The moral of this story is don't settle for less than what you have always hoped and dreamed of! There IS such thing as a fairy tale romance! There IS such thing as a perfect marriage! You will have to step out of your comfort zone you will have to work really hard. You will have to be willing to give more of yourself then what may be comfortable. You will not be able to hold anything back. You will have to give 110% of yourself. It's OK to wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes. Dating sites have their own risks, but always remember that many people out there are looking for love just as much as you are! It may seem scary or intimidating at first, but the love you are looking for can only be limited by you! Don't stop yourself from getting the love you deserve! The best advice I can give, is listen to your intuition. As a woman you have an amazing power and that is the power of your intuition.

If you enjoyed this entry, stay tuned for more! I'll share the romantic story of my first date and all the tips I can give you about yours!

~Love, Jess.