6 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married
Tips and Trips For Newlyweds
While getting married is, often, one of the most fun and most exciting things you will do, it is also one of the most important things you will do. Getting married means so much more than just sharing a legal document together. Getting married is a promise to love, care for, and help each other, forever. While not every moment of marriage is always rainbows and sunshine, there are some things you can do to help make it a better and happier union. Below are the top six thing I wish I knew before I got married.
1. Not Much Changes
Most people who get married are under the impression that everything will change once they are married. While this may be true for some couples, for the majority of couples, nothing will change after getting legally married. This is due in part to the fact that most couples nowadays live together before getting married. This often means that couples know everything they can know about each other. Having a legally-binding contract does not change a relationship. However, for some, it does make them feel closer, and more bound together.
2. Everything Affects The Other Person
One thing I wish I realized before getting married is the fact that everything you do starts to affect the other person. If you lose your job, it often affects both parties. If you have an accident, it often affects both individuals, and so on. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, as it can help keep you accountable for things, it can sometimes get overwhelming to always have to think of another person before making a choice about your life.
3. Communication Is Everything
Many don't realize it, but communication is everything—not just in a relationship with a spouse, but in relationships with everyone in your life. Without communication, there would be no interaction, and no connection with others. Communicating, especially with your spouse, is a great way to not only prevent conflict, but also resolve it.
4. Communicate Correctly
Going hand-in-hand with communicating is knowing how to communicate with your spouse. As a married couple, learning how to speak and engage with each other is very important for sustaining a long-term relationship. As a rule, it is never okay to yell, scream, or curse as a way of communicating with your spouse. Not only does this make your spouse feel insecure and afraid, but it can also cause them to shut down and avoid communicating altogether. Instead, always try to communicate using low, friendly tones, and only family-friendly words.
5. Fight Fair
One major thing to know before getting married is to always fight fair. Never name-call or insult your spouse, and as stated previously, try to avoid yelling and using curse words. Having fights in a marriage is normal and nothing to be too concerned about, as every couple fights. However, the difference is knowing how to fight fairly to get your point across. Never bring up old issues that have already been dealt with or resolved. Never use insulting words, as they are often hard to forget, even after an argument has finished. And, try to never leave an argument unsettled.
6. Compromising Is Extremely Important
Many often underestimate how important compromise is in a relationship. Because you are mending two different lives together through marriage, it is important to be able to compromise, so each individual gets to lead life as they want. Compromise on the things that don't mean as much to you, as a way to make your spouse happier. Hopefully, they will do the same. For instance if your spouse wants a home theater screen size that is too big for your taste, really debate whether the size actually matters to you. If it is not harming or interfering with your lives, why not get a bigger screen? Sometimes, it is easier to compromise on the things that don't matter as much in lieu of getting the things we really want.
Overall, these are just six of the things I wish I knew before I got married. Although there are a ton of other things I wish I knew or realized, these were the ones that were most important to me.