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6 key ideas to understand the mourning for loss of the baby in pregnancy

by Nouman ul haq 2 months ago in humanity / how to / family / fact or fiction / advice
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Several fundamental ideas to understand miscarriage grief and overcome it

6 key ideas to understand the mourning for loss of the baby in pregnancy
Photo by Annisa Ica on Unsplash

Grief over the loss of a child during pregnancy, also called "perinatal grief" is one of the most painful experiences that parents can go through, whether they are first-time parents or have had other children before.

Grief consists of a series of psychological symptoms that can also be physical and that affect each parent in a different way, since no one experiences the same mourning in the same way as another person. Of all the variants of grief, the one that takes place after a miscarriage is among those that have the greatest capacity to destabilize the person's mental health, not least because of the doubts it raises about how we should feel.

Understanding grief over pregnancy loss

All mourning follows a certain process until the person manages to overcome it and the case of mourning for the loss of a baby is particularly painful, since society tends to minimize it due to ignorance, considering that it is a minor mourning, since the unborn child has not been known.

At the same time, it can be a grief that is difficult to resolve due to the stigma that still exists socially and the fact that some families tend to hide the sad news when a baby in the family dies .

Understanding miscarriage grief

The mourning for the loss of a baby in pregnancy shares some characteristics with the rest of the mourning; however, it contains some of its own elements that make it even more painful, such as the fact of losing a child, the trauma it entails for new parents and the impossibility of creating or having memories with the deceased.

Either way, it is essential that parents go through all the parts of perinatal grief and express their feelings without holding anything back in the assumption that time will "heal" it .

Psychological strategies to overcome grief due to pregnancy loss

Below we present the main key ideas that can help us understand grief over the loss of a baby during pregnancy.

1. The importance of the farewell

As in any other duel, to overcome it successfully it is necessary for both parents to say goodbye to the deceased baby, in order to start the process and be aware that they are going through each stage turning the page . For example, you can perform a symbolic act such as making a memory box with all kinds of goals for the baby as a goodbye. Likewise, photographs of the baby or other objects can also be kept to have a memory with which the duel will pass in a less painful way and reducing the chances of chronic discomfort.

2. Express your own feelings

Expressing the most painful feelings is of great importance during the first phase of grief. In these moments it is vital that each parent can share everything that she feels at all times that nothing is kept inside. And it is that what is known as emotional labeling , or expressing in words what we feel even when we are bad , helps to overcome the processes linked to anguish and/or trauma.

There are many ways to share the pain that one feels and this can be done by talking with family, friends or psychologists, writing a journal, painting a picture or through any other form of artistic expression.

It is also important to cry when necessary, without feeling guilty about it (because of that ingrained and harmful idea that you have to "be strong" and not discourage the rest of the family), something that often needs to be reminded of by parents, who They have more difficulty expressing themselves.

3. Do not hide what happened

As stated above, perinatal grief is often a silent , unspoken grief in some families that is often hidden in public.

To prevent the pain from being even greater, it is advisable to talk at all times about everything that is needed and share what parents feel with other people at all times, including with their children.

Talking about grief with your children and allowing them to overcome it is of great importance, especially if they are young, cases in which you have to talk openly about the subject without hesitation or taboos.

4. Attend support groups

Currently there are many support groups and psychological professionals specialized in perinatal grief who can help us overcome this painful period in our lives in the best possible way.

A support group is a therapeutic space in which we can share everything we feel together with other parents who are in the same situation as us and at the same time where we can listen to other testimonies, knowledge or useful strategies that can be of great help to us. aid.

5. Take your time

Psychology professionals recommend that each person experience grief in their own way, since two people do not experience it in the same way. This means taking the time you need to work through the pain and not rushing through it .

During the process we can avail ourselves of the support of friends and family who will help us in everything we need, as well as our partner, the other person who is suffering the most right now along with ourselves.

6. Professional psychological help

Whenever necessary, it is highly recommended to go to a psychologist specialized in emotional problems or those related to grief and trauma , who will listen to us and provide us with the support we need.

In a psychologist's consultation we will also be able to express ourselves with total freedom and will help us learn various techniques, strategies and knowledge that will help us successfully overcome our grieving process.

humanityhow tofamilyfact or fictionadvice

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Nouman ul haq

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