Dating: Do's & Don'ts
Dating: Do's & Don'ts

5 Types of Roles a Man Seeks in His Partner

by Judy Mae 2 years ago in advice / love / marriage

You are signing up to be more than just a lover.

5 Types of Roles a Man Seeks in His Partner

We are all actors in our lives, taking up different roles and characters depending on circumstances. You are definitely not the same person in front of your bosses, with your friends and when you are lying in your bed alone at night.

We can fully understand the inevitability of behaving differently in different contexts, but it seems like we are certainly having difficulties accepting others to do the same. It almost feels like we cannot muster the capacity to accept different dimensions to a person’s role in our lives.

The mother is always the caring figure, the father is always the silent but supportive / disapproving party, while the lover’s identity should always be confined by its romantic boundary in our lives.

By no means am I a relationship expert, but the longer I live with my partner, the more our roles seem to evolve, and hence the more I learnt from it.

Personally, it is a piece of hard-earned life insight. Reason is because, I was single-handedly raised by my mother, so I have no prior knowledge of how a relationship built on marriage looked like. I do not know how men would behave in front of their life partners, how their partners should behave in return towards them, and how it really is okay for couples to swap and change roles under different scenarios.

Different situations trigger different needs, and hence different roles must be taken on in order to fulfill that need.


The following 5 types of roles are the main identities that I have found myself interchanging from time to time in my relationship.


The bottom line is, both you and your partner should be happier and better from the relationship. To do that, both of you would have to learn to take up different roles at different times for one another.

1. A Lover

Since the basis of our relationship is romance, being a lover to each other is the first and most straightforward identity that we both knew right from the beginning.

What you might have missed is that you will have to take time to understand both your partner’s and your own love language, which itself might vary depending on context.

You might love with gifts when it comes to providing comfort, but prefer exchanging words on anniversaries; he might love with physical touch in daily life, but prefers words in bed, etc. Whatever it is, just make sure you are loving in your love language without neglecting your partner’s in the process.

2. A Friend

At many occasions in a man’s life, they need someone to give them encouragement.

But I am not sure what it is with guys and their guy friends, it is almost as if they HAVE to talk in that bro-voice and that bro-manner when they are with each other. No matter how close or comfortable they are, it is a HUUUUGE no-no to ask for encouragement (like in real words & conversations, not just some patronizing comments) from one another. Unless you want to be greeted by silence, in particular – awkward, awkward silence.

So as their partner, we really are the few (if not only) outlet they could reach out to for some assurance and comfort. Always be there for your man, and it is equally important that he actually knows that.

3. A Mother

You know the saying “we all have a child in us”? Well, I think men certainly retain a bigger portion of their kid personalities than most women.

And just like kids, sometimes it makes you looooove them because it is so freaking adorbs, but it can also really get on your nerves at other times.

It is therefore crucial to strike a balance – not spoiling them, yet allowing them to be the kid who might be stubborn and turn a deaf ear to your constant requests (i.e. not to wash socks and underpants together), who might throw a little tantrum at times (especially when they are hungry, speaking from personal experience), but all in all is precious, just like kids.

Of course, you are not his mother after all, so do not go overboard with the supportive dial; make him an independent person, while avoiding tiring yourself out while doing so.

4. A Partner

There is logic to coining the term ‘life-partners’; a couple indeed has to go through life together like a business partnership.

You have to engage in discussion with your partner and attain a common ground when it comes to life decisions. There will be disagreements, even quarrels and arguments, but that is the whole point.

Otherwise, it would be just you running your own sole-proprietorship life.

Also like a partnership, each party should have his and her own area of responsibilities, of which they should be competently attended to.

Make each other proud by your own achievements, and together, you guys will achieve even greater things in life.

5. A Teacher

If Adam is sufficient by himself in this world, god wouldn’t have created Eve for him.

As women, there are traits in our characters and knowledge in our minds that could greatly complement that within men.

If your man is sociable but doesn’t bother to initiate, then be the one to make introductions at events and send out the invites for parties.

If they do not have a fine taste in things, then be the one to pick up their clothes for them and decorate the house. The art lies in understanding the difference between being helpful and being bossy.

How does it work?
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Judy Mae

I put words on the internet.

See all posts by Judy Mae