4 Situations When It’s Time to Stop Living With Your Parents

There are different views on the living of adult children with their parents under the same roof. The situation is more complex than it seems at first glance. I'm not saying you need to leave home once you've reached adulthood, but we'll talk about when it would be best to do so.

Psychological maturity

If one of the family members constantly interferes in another's life - he gets upset, comes with advice, manipulates, quarrels, resorts to blackmail - that doesn't work.

This type of relationship is based on the convenient illusion for everyone that parents feel young when the child is with them; and for the child, it is more comfortable, more comfortable, and stable to live with the parents.

Psychologically, both children and parents may be immature. Is it extremely difficult to change parents and is it worth the effort? While the 30+ child has time to mature - it's time to face the hardships that life has prepared for him, to become an adult, and to stop being a big, childish child.

Different views on life

My mother cooks very fatty food, and you have decided to eat healthily? Do you have a relationship with a boy that your father doesn't like? Have you decided to become a vegetarian, but your family is accustomed to eating meat at every meal? You bought a gym pass, but those in the house are outraged why you should get tired there too?

Congratulations, your visions have spread beyond the perimeter of the "allowed" in the family and now you have to fight for them. In fierce fighting.

At this point, any rational person would ask himself - why? Why do I have to prove something, to defend my visions, to fight, when I am free to choose what to believe in, how to live, to think what I want? It's a useful question, don't ignore it.

Mom won't let you go

My mother raised you. He loves you with all his heart, he only wants the best for you, he has always sacrificed for you, but he doesn't forget to remind you of this all the time.

You have decided to live separately. First, start the financial calculations, which are not in your favor. It is often at this point that you give up - it will be convincing and eloquent to prove that it is not rational to live apart. If another man says no to you, how can you not listen to these counsels?

If you insist, then you can expect attempts to convince yourself, it will appeal to your conscience, to the feeling of duty or pity. This arsenal of tricks is called a manipulation. Here is an example of manipulation: "How can I be left alone, and you do not know what you will eat there and what you will wear ?!".

You may be offered a relationship improvement plan: "What do you dislike? If you want, I'll knock on the door before I enter your room. Invite whoever you want at home, I understand you ".

Do you find yourself in the above? If there is a positive answer, be prepared for anything - if you insist on moving separately, hysteria, tears, emotional crises, ambulances, heart attacks, radiculitis, etc. may follow. Yes, it's not easy at all. But over time, we can adapt to any conditions. If you think that it would be better to live separately, know that your mother will get used to the time. Maybe this will be the chance to start a new life.

Personal life

Many are comforted by the thought that they will move separately when they find the right person. But it's not that simple.

First of all, this is a trap of the mind, which prevents you from getting out of your comfort zone. Yes, sometimes the psyche works so paradoxically: on the one hand, man longs to meet his great love, and on the other hand - he is afraid of change.

Secondly, sometimes parents are so attached to their children of the opposite sex (mothers of sons, fathers of daughters) that they unconsciously do their best to never find love - they are jealous and find shortcomings in all suitors.

Some spouses fear (not without reason) the moment when their offspring will leave their parental nest. Then they will remain in two and all the problems, which have been silenced "for the sake of the children", will be exacerbated. It is better to avoid these acute moments, and for our offspring to live with us for as long as possible, while we create favorable conditions for irresponsibility.

All this has very unpleasant repercussions, which in the future will have to be overcome only in the psychologist's office if the child will not break away from the parental nest in time. Among the worst are all kinds of addictions. Therefore, dear parents, if the child aged 30+ stays at home, abuse alcohol, or is addicted to the computer, for his sake, drive him away from home.

I wish you all peace in your soul and at home!

P.S.The ideal solution is for families from the same family to live in the same space but in neighboring houses. This kind of relationship is found in the villages, where the parents' house was separated from that of the young family. Such families have a separate household, each couple has their own space, but there is also the possibility of mutual help and maintaining warm family relationships, which is very important.

Of course, this is true when families are made up of mature people who can build relationships with people who do not embitter their lives with endless quarrels and upsets.