15 Mini Things That Make You Instantly More Likeable

Let’s face it.

Everyone wants to be liked. Humans are social creatures.

Yet, because of the pandemic and everyone in quarantine. I have found it difficult to keep up with social interactions and have found my social skills declining.

However, communication skills can be improved upon with practice, and doing tiny changes can make a huge difference to your conversations.

1. Genuine Smile

People who smile as soon as they see you are like bright, burning sunbeams. They can brighten up a conversation with their positive energy.

It can be said that smiling for the brain is like muscle memory. Research has shown that smiling increases activity in the brain network related to pleasure, emotion, and memory.

Since humans are social creatures, seeing another person smile makes you want to mirror their body language which makes for a more positive and uplifting conversation.

2. Include Others In The Conversation

This especially pertains to group conversations. When I am socializing in groups, I tend to be the person who does more of the listening than talking which has sometimes made me feel not involved in the conversation.

Having someone include me in the group by directing a question at me or acknowledging my presence is much appreciated.

This also makes you look more inclusive and friendly to those around you. It shows that the group isn’t clique or exclusive which makes more people want to participate as well, knowing that their ideas are being heard.

3. Be Curious

Be genuinely curious about the other person. I think that every person that you interact with has a story to tell you and something that you can learn from.

Ask questions about their lives but not in an intrusive way. There’s a difference between being curious and being overly nosy.

I’ve found that when I am curious to hear what the other person says, I learn a lot more about who they are. As a result, this creates rapport which makes for a good conversation.

4. Learn When To Listen Vs When To Give Advice

Sometimes people want to vent and complain about their issues. Sometimes people want to hear advice.

Know the difference between these two. It will probably save you time and prevent miscommunication between people.

5. Do Not Be Nosy

I have learned this the hard way. I consider myself quite a curious person which has sometimes made me into an unintentional nosy person.

I’ve asked intrusive questions before which has made the other person feel exposed.

Sometimes people don’t want to talk about overly personal things and want to keep aspects of their lives private. It’s good to respect that people have boundaries and prying into people’s business only makes you look nosy.

6. Say People’s Names

People like to hear their name because their name is part of their identity.

Try to include the person’s name in the conversation. This will also help you to remember their name so if you were to see them again, you would be able to recognize them.

7. Eye Contact

I have had many conversations with people where their eye contact has been looking everywhere else. It makes them seem uninterested in the conversation and flat-out bored. Don’t be like that.

Showing eye contact makes you seem interested in the conversation and engaged with what the other person has to say.

It also makes you a more attentive listener and makes it much easier to read micro-expressions which tell you how the person is feeling.

8. Open Body Language

Having open body language makes you seem more approachable and willing to talk. It gives off the impression that you are expressive and interactive.

Using hand gestures when you speak to convey ideas also helps you structure your thoughts in a more rational way, which makes it easier for the listener to understand your ideas.

9. Learn To Tell Good Stories

Have a couple of good stories up your sleeve when engaging in conversations. People love to hear different stories.

Recount past life experiences about the topic and share about what happened.

This will make you seem like a more interesting person as you have experienced different things. This also makes it easier for people to relate with you if they have also had similar experiences.

10. Laugh Easily

People who laugh easily and find many things funny seem to be happier and overall satisfied with their life compared to someone who barely cracks a smile when you say a joke.

Research has shown that shared laughter can act as social glue which strengthens bonds as it communicates similar perspectives.

Having a similar sense of humour to someone else increases a sense of connection as both people feel they are more alike than different.

11. Use Positive Words

Using more positive words can make the conversation feel more uplifting. The words that you choose to use also reflect how you view the world

The words that you use impact the overall flow and mood of the conversation. It also communicates your emotions about certain topics which makes you seem more expressive.

Using more positive words makes you appear more optimistic and enthusiastic about the topic compared to using more negative words.

12. Mirroring

Mirroring is when you unconsciously imitate the other person’s gestures, speech patterns, or attitudes. This aids in building rapport with the other person which makes them feel more connected to you.

This makes the conversation seem like both parties are in sync with each other.

It makes you appear to be more trustworthy and is a useful technique if you are trying to influence another person.

13. Seek Out Commonalities

Having commonalities and similar interests with other people are good conversation starters that enable you to have a rapport with them.

I have found that in conversations with people when we have similar interests, the conversation flows much more smoothly. We jump from topic to topic without any awkward silences in the middle.

This also increases relatability between people where others can feel that they can relate to your thoughts and opinions. It’s the idea that both people are on the same level as each other.

14. Be Integral To Your Word

Having integrity and doing what you say you will do is an admirable trait to have. Carrying through with your words with actions is what creates reliability and trustworthiness.

It enables the other person to see you as a consistent person who isn’t just talking and doesn’t follow through with their behaviors. This makes you more respected and likable when your actions mirror your words.

15. Spend More Time With Them

Familiarity breeds likeability. The more time that you spend with someone and get to know them better, the more you like them.

I have found that my first impressions of people were not very accurate because after we had a conversation together; I realized that people are more complex and multifaceted than their initial impressions.

So let yourself be surprised when you converse with people. I have found that when I spend more time with them; I am able to see their positive and negative traits more clearly.

Spending more time with people also lets you create memories together which you can bond over the next time you reconnect.

Conclusion

Social skills can be improved with practice and making small but impactful changes in your communication can help create more deeper and meaningful relationships.

Have a genuine smile

Include others in the conversation

Be curious about the other person

Learn when to listen and when to give advice

Don’t be nosy

Say people’s names

Eye contact

Have open body language

Learn to tell good stories

Laugh easily

Use positive words

Mirroring

Seek out commonalities

Be integral to your word

Spend more time with them