The Foundations Of A Good Life

I have always asked myself the question of what does it mean to live a good life?

What does it mean to not waste your life?

These existential questions have plagued my mind for a very long time. I have had many nights lying on my bed questioning my life and my direction. Am I going in the right direction? Which path does the Lord want me to take? Is everything going to be okay?

However, after spending too much time contemplating my life, I have formulated an answer to the question ‘What does it mean to live a good life?’.

The best way that I can explain my answer is through the analogy of building a tower.

Imagine your life is like a tall tower and you are the builder with a construction plan that has been given to you.

• Ground Level — Identity and Purpose
• First Level — Daily Life
• Second Level — Health
• Third Level — Relationships
• Fourth Level — Work
• Fifth Level — Leisure

Ground Level — Identity and Purpose

What Is Your Identity?

This question pertains to who you are as a person and where you derive your self-worth and value from.

Your identity is the way you perceive yourself fundamentally. It is who you are at the core of your being. Everyone’s identity is different and unique to their circumstances. We all will derive our identity from different areas such as faith, religion, relationships, or passions.

Your identity is made up by your:

• Values
• Beliefs
• Personality traits
• Likes and Dislikes
• Strengths and Weaknesses
• Your Life Story

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their head. Always. All The Time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” — Patrick Rothfuss

What Is Your Purpose?

Finding a purpose gives you direction and a goal to strive for in life. When I refer to your purpose, I am not referring to your job or place of work.

I am referring to your overall life purpose. A purpose is your ‘why’ to live.

Usually, this purpose is greater than yourself and affects people outside of your inner circle.

This purpose gives meaning to your life and allows you to be content and satisfied with the decisions and actions you take. For example, it could be a spiritual purpose that stems from one’s faith.

“The person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” ―Thomas Carlyle

First Level — Daily Life

Routines

A routine is the actions that you take daily. It is the small and mundane tasks that you repeat without thinking. Whether it’s the same route you take on your way to work or what you do after dinner.

These small consistent actions compound together to create your daily routine. Daily routines make up your days and how you spend your days is how you spend your life.

Good Habits

The formation of good habits is what creates your routines. Your daily routines are what make your life, so ensure that you develop good, healthy habits that grow you as a person such as exercising, sleeping well, and eating nutritious food all give you dividends in the long run. However, the development of good habits is easier said than done.

In the book, ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear, he outlines a strategy on how to create sustaining habits.

• Start with a small habit
• Increase your habit in small ways
• Breakdown your bigger habits into smaller chunks
• Never miss your habit twice

Be patient and stick to a pace that you can sustain in the long term

“Over time, as the daily routines become second nature, discipline morphs into habit.” — Twyla Tharp

Second Level — Health

My mom has always said that health is wealth and as I have grown older, the more I have resonated with this sentiment.

“Your diet is your bank account. Good food choices are good investments” — Bethenny Frankel

Physical Health

There are three fundamentals to have good physical health that being exercise, sleep, and diet. If you do these three things, you have done 80% of the work.

• Exercising consistently involves moving your body in some way. Physical activity could be a sport or simply a quick workout routine. What matters is that it’s done repeatedly.
• Getting good quality sleep of around 8 hours every night. It also helps if you know your Chronotype which is a person’s circadian typology. This shows your differences in activity and alertness in the morning and evening.
• Eating whole, nutritious foods that mainly consist of fruits and vegetables. It’s okay to consume processed foods that are high in salt and sugar but it should be done in moderation.

Mental Health

People today have become more focused on mental health as it seems that our problems often stem from our minds rather than the outside world. Having good mental health mainly consists of self-awareness and emotional regulation. However, mental disorders are more complex and multifaceted.

• Self-awareness is the ability to understand why you have a specific emotion and where that emotion stems from. It’s being able to objectively look at your feelings from a third-person perspective and think rationally about what’s happening.
• Emotional regulation is the ability to identify and manage your emotions in healthy ways. It’s being able to use positive coping strategies to control your emotions whether it’s mindfulness, talk therapy, or a creative endeavour. It’s the ability to channel your negative emotions into a healthy outlet.

Spiritual Health

Spiritual health is the least talked about today because it’s often associated with religious rituals. Spiritual health usually consists of a belief in a higher power that gives them hope, forgiveness, and a positive outlook in life. Research has suggested that religion and spirituality may reduce stress levels and increase longevity.

However, what makes up spiritual health is different for everyone depending on one’s spiritual beliefs. For me as a Christian, spiritual health encompasses devotions, fellowship, and praise.

• Devotions are the act of reading passages and praying whether that be with fellow believers or by myself.
• Fellowship is the gathering of fellow believers who are of the same faith or spirituality.
• Praise is the worshipping of that higher power through music and song.

Third Level — Relationships

I will admit that my relationships could be stronger. I would say my relationships need improvement. It seems that when you grow older, it’s more difficult to create good quality relationships with people. There have been countless studies that have shown that having a good social support system increases your longevity and improves emotional wellbeing.

“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself” — Oprah Winfrey

Family

Having a stable family life is so important as your family is the people that you talk with most frequently. If you are like me, your family loves you the most but they also annoy you the most.

However, having strong ties to your immediate family and extended relatives creates a solid foundation to build your social skills and develop close relationships. At the end of the day, your family will stick with you for your whole life while your friendships will wax and wane.

Friendships

The ability to make friends is a life skill that will be with you throughout your whole life. Likewise, having healthy, quality friendships significantly boosts your overall life satisfaction as these people create your social support system. Having meaningful conversations, good banter, and sharing life experiences with your friends creates long-lasting memories.

Ultimately, your life isn’t measured by status symbols of money, power, or fame but rather the positive impact that you have made in other people’s lives and vice versa.

Social Skills

Like I have mentioned, this is an area which I could improve on since I can be very quiet and shy in social situations where I don’t know many people.

I think due to people’s dependence on technology, social skills are becoming more difficult to acquire. However, like any skill, communication can be practiced and improved upon.

Fundamentally, having good social skills is about having confidence in your abilities to fully express yourself. It’s about being authentic and sharing your ideas and perspectives. It’s also about not caring too much about what others think of you because you cannot control people’s perceptions. I also think that it’s about having confidence in yourself, that just because someone doesn’t like you, does not mean that you are not a likable person.

Several building blocks create good social skills which include:

• Active listening
• Empathy
• Storytelling
• Positive mindset
• Open body language
• Being assertive
• Eye contact

Fourth Level — Work

We will spend the majority of our time working in our lives. One-third of your life will be spent at work so it’s evident that your work will have a significant impact on your quality of life. The average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime so you may as well be enjoying what you do.

“You work and you try and find work that suits you the best and you enjoy the most” — Harvey Keitel

Meaningful Work

Having meaningful work will be different for everybody since we all have unique definitions of success. However, finding work that is meaningful and satisfying is hard to come by.

I’ve found that doing work where I feel I am making a positive impact has been the most rewarding for me. It’s being able to contribute positively to someone’s life. Doing meaningful work should align with your values and beliefs, as well as help you grow professionally in your career.

Personal Finance

Finances are an important area of life we all need money to live and eat, so it’s beneficial if we know how to manage it wisely.

I think that being able to manage money can be broken down into knowing how to:

• Budget
• Save
• Earn income
• Invest
• Spend wisely

Fifth Level — Leisure

I think that finding time to relax and enjoy your life is what makes life satisfying. It’s the ability to create good memories and enjoy the present moment. If I’m being honest, I find it difficult to enjoy the moment because my mind is constantly thinking about the future. I used to find it difficult to make spontaneous plans and needed things to be structured and organized. However, I am beginning to realize that spontaneity is fun. Being able to do things just for the enjoyment of it is always worth your time.

“Most of the things we need to be the most fully alive never grow in busyness. They grow in rest.” — Mark Buchanan

Travel

I think our Western culture places heavy emphasis on traveling abroad to exotic places and doing thrill-seeking activities. However, I think traveling does not necessarily have to mean traveling to an unknown place, it could mean exploring your city. Travelling does not have to comprise of hopping on a plane, it could be exploring within your local area.

Creative Outlet

Personally, having a creative outlet is so important to me. Being able to express my true ideas, opinions and thoughts is a form of therapy and allows me to be authentically myself.

Having a creative outlet is being able to share who you are using whatever medium you desire. For example, art, writing, reading, music, acting, or dance. These forms of self-expression allow you to explore your interests, thoughts, passions, and ideas through a creative format and being able to share them with others.

Hobbies

Having hobbies are things you enjoy doing in your spare time. It is what you do to relax and destress. Having hobbies also allows you to find people who share similar interests with you.

Conclusion

Working on improving these six areas of life will be a constant learning curve and requires intentional effort. It’s difficult to achieve a complete balance in all these areas of your life. There will be seasons where you are more focused on one life aspect as opposed to another. However, knowing the pillars of what life consists of creates a solid framework and action plan.