Cultural Exchange
-Tolerance -
Author © Jay Kantor
Brief history of our little town: Spahn Ranch was the site where 50ish Western Movies were filmed (western themes were 'IT' then). The then enormously popular 'Roy Rogers' series had a big white horse 'Trigger' - statue of which is on the site at this time. The 'Spahn' Ranch was Globally known as it became the infamous "Manson-Family-Compound."
You may have noticed on the news that Leslie Van Houten a Manson Groupie (mostly rebellious teens on mind altering drugs) his "Slaves" carried out unquestionably at his behest every whim, including unspeakable murder, has been paroled this week after 53 years in prison. She was an ideal inmate and passed the California Bar exam on her 1st attempt. They were all originally given the death penalty that California revised, Quote: "The death penalty is a waste of taxpayer funds and has no public safety benefit." Hence, they put all death row inmates into life/without parole sentences.
My Motto: The world is a much nicer place than the evening news would have you believe. With constant reports of unimaginable violence and indifference, this is not our true image of Human-Nature. It is to be kind to one-another – as we would want to be treated.
— At The Chatsworth Park —
As I sat in my car at the park reading 'James Patterson' enjoying the three-dimensional golden fall, with gorgeous horses passing by, an incredible looking car pulled-up next to me. It was a completely stock 60's Pontiac. I mean you could 'Hate-Driving' and still appreciate that this car was pristine – down to its original hubcaps and thinly lined white-wall tires.
I just had to give the driver a thumbs-up! And I said, "Can you make MY car look like that, too?" He said, "This has been 'spit-shined' for years, your fancy car is too new to get rubbed that hard!" I laughed!
So, here's the "RUB." We started talking about cars. I've had, way over, my share of 'vintage' money-pit costs over the years, so we related. Then, Francisco started telling me all about himself; his story just spewed out in a stream. He's a former gang member. Tats all over (never-ever will I figure this tattoo thing out?) — He was in/out of prison all of his life, "eight years here and more time there," while making a point they were both Federal and State Prisons; as if that were some kind of badge?!
But, he was fascinating to talk to – very diverse! He told me he was unemployed and looking for whatever work he could pick up because he was just broke. And, due to his record, it was difficult to get hired. His background pops up on the screen as soon as he applies for any job these days. So, I got out a few bucks and handed it to him to go buy some food.
He really was a victim of his upbringing. He explained sleeping on friends' couches or in his car was not unusual for him; even as a child. His sister kept his spotless car garaged when he was in prison. He just kept on talking, and I kept on listening, certainly in my Biz I'm trained to do that - pick out the 'Tells' - but in this case I could really 'Feel' him, and wanted to hear more about his dilemma. I really am a good listener. I didn't interrupt, make 'judgmental' remarks, or put out any body-grimacing 'Tells'. And, he just kept talking (to a total stranger) as if nobody had ever listened to him. Francisco was actually surprised that I did; a shame!
We spoke mostly in Spanish! He wasn't drunk/high or unclean. Very friendly! You might be thinking? Wasn't I nervous about all of this? Nah!
Digressing: My friend, Jim O'Brien, and I would often tease back and forth how having (4) years in High School Spanish (recalling teacher Mr. Yorbas' every day greeting "Hola Hombres") and we still didn't speak in complete sentences: I learned, by necessity, at Dad's factories. There was an abundance of Spanish speaking employees, and he wanted 'in-tell' of what was said behind his back - Really!
I wonder how people in this country, for years, can't speak English. Neighbor, Mrs. Kim, has been here for over (40) years and still only speaks Korean. We often communicate using an electronic interpreter. Since she has a fastidiously kept vegetable garden, while I have flowers, we negotiate trades; a fair exchange.
Stationed in Japan, I was living off-of the Naval base, and I mostly spoke Japanese with neighbors and shopkeepers. It was not necessary to read or write the language, just everyday conversations were important for me to study and learn; it was a nice way to fit into their community. Although, I could never get used to right wheel drive while driving on the opposite side of the road, so I rode a bike even when it snowed – a frigid experience for a native Southern Californian!
My Japanese neighbor, Mrs. Yong, and I made a deal: I'd teach her English and she'd teach me how to 'WOK' – Well, I still 'Wok' with the best-of-um, but English wasn't working for her – even if we graded on a curve! What a delightful Personality and Chop-Stick-Teacher. Mrs. Yong, Quote: "If you're getting it in your mouth, and not losing a lot of weight, you're doing it right." Seriously!
- It's terrific to interact; aka ~ mingle with people in the community to learn about cultural differences -
— We're all just alike - Values to Cooking - Sometimes just different Recipes —
Ooh, so, back to Francisco. He immediately asked me, "What's THIS money for?" I said that I just felt like I wanted to help a little; nothing more! He said, "When in prison, any time someone did something for someone else, there was always a Catch!"
I just said, "I donate to organizations; especially Veterans. Why NOT Francisco?" Francisco asked for my cell number; I declined — I had enough cultural exchanges for (1) day!
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Author Community -
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Jay Kantor
Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"
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Comments (23)
I was looking for my JayBud fix and stumbled here. Oh, I hope you are going to compile these for the grands. You have the truest mark of a writer, you are interested in other's stories, and we all benefit from your curiosity (my mom called it nosiness cuz I have it too!)
So glad to have come back to this - these unexpected exchanges can be so rich. I do think some people have a much better ear for languages than others.
'The world is a much nicer place than the evening news would have you believe.' I agree with this 100%. I don't think the 24-hour news coverage we're fed does any of us any good.
Fascinating! You clearly pick up languages faster than many. I’m only good at interpreting English second language speakers’ accented English. Enriching to meet folks from other cultures etc though. Right hand drive cars purring along the left side of the road is surely the only way to go!!😆
Jay, I learned so much about you in this story! You are the epitome of an extrovert here. You even speak in different languages to communicate with others. Truly makes me chuckle a bit.
I always feel a profoundity in your pieces, I can never quite explain. But it clings to my heart somehow x Beautifully written. And now thinking 🤍
Awesome 👍-Why not Francisco??👀
I really enjoyed reading this piece! It speaks so much to the power of lending a listening ear and of helping other people in ways large and small. And that the acts we consider ‘small’ are often more impactful than can be anticipated. Wonderful, wonderful work!
Well, J-Bud, it's (much) later in the day as promised and I'm finally getting around to reading what I just thoroughly enjoyed. I lived on the Mexico border for 9 years and never learned Spanish. (In my defense, I was only 9 when the family left Douglas.) Had the opportunity to take it in school and chose Latin, instead. Not my life's best decision. Anyway, I admire your rapport with others and can honestly say I have the same outlook about the media. Pam and I currently live in a predominately Black community and we love to share food, recipes, chats over the back fence while the crack house a few doors down burns (Yes, really.) etc. BTW, growing up, I owned, a '56 Chevy, a '57 Chevy, 2 '69 LeMans 350's, a '62 T-Bird, and a '67 Tempest. All long gone. But I love my '07 4Runner!
Jay the magician. Concocting magical stories entwined with the rich, the down and out and murderers all in a row. Is writing not wonderful.
Excellent, as usual, Mr. K! I love the exchange between you and Francisco were so heartfelt...starts with the love of cars and unfolds into such a peek at humanity. Great story!
Good listeners are hard to come by, and I'm not at all surprised that you're one of them :) I enjoyed this bit of history mingled with the modern day. Thank you for sharing these bits of your life. ~H2
Jay gives us glimpses of real and kind exchanges between people who come from such varied backgrounds. This exemplifies how an open mind can let in those treasures of understanding in our lives. Terrilynn
This is superb, "J!" The new introduction brings a whole new perspective to the story already shared in "At The Park," and your insertion of Manson Family elements raises particularly interesting questions about justice, which then proceed to weigh on our consideration of Francisco and his past. I absolutely stand by this as a significant article for the history section, because it's clear to me that Spahn Ranch is a veritable palimpsest of history (the Manson Compound, and Trigger? I'm still trying to get my head around that!) and we see in the story itself how the lessons of that past remain pressingly relevant to the present day. Out in China I was very much a Mrs. Kim, speaking only my own language at all well I'm afraid! However, China in general was so keen on learning English that no-one seemed to mind. Certainly, it was never imagined a grasp of Chinese was at all expected of me, or that it was any sort of essential for my life in China! Which is not to say there weren't those times when I found myself wholly dependent on the help of others. Indeed, these times were frequent. And for a hapless Englishman lost in China, there as anywhere else, the ones keeping the world turning are those good souls who are prepared to be kind and look beyond superficial differences. I have a hundred such instances of being very grateful indeed to have met such people, and I'm sure that's how Francisco looks back on you. There's always so much to be learned from your posts, J-Dog! Keep it up, and thank you for this latest one!
Have you shared the story about Francisco and Mrs Kim in another story of yours? Because I vividly remember reading about them both. I'm not sure if I'm losing my mind, lol!
Why hadn't I guessed you were multi-lingual, Jay? (For the same reason I hadn't guessed you were in a wheelchair, I suppose.) Those multi-cultural exchanges can be powerful & life-changing. I remember taking a bus from South Dakota to Wisconsin during the American Indian Movement rallies at Wounded Knee in the 70s. A young family was heading home from having listened to Dennis Banks & Russell Means speak & otherwise participating. The little boy wanted me to read my Bible to him (which I did). There was a young girl about my age (summer after freshman year of high school), who I thought was incredibly beautiful (I don't think I said two words to her the entire trip, couldn't work up the courage). There were other sisters & brothers--I think about five or six. We had such a great time visiting that when I realized they'd be getting off at the next stop, I became seriously depressed. (And no, I couldn't work up the courage to get either their phone numbers or addresses, either.) I never told mom or dad about them. They always insisted, "Black people are as good as white people." But Native American was an entirely different story. And the A.I.M., Dennis & Russell were the enemy. But I continue to think of them often, 50 years later, & wonder how they are. L.J., Robert, Duwayne, Heather & a whole host of others have been some of the most interesting & inspiring people I have known. I could never get them to come to church, even though I knew & could reassure them that most would welcome them with open arms (& the rest would keep their mouths shut). They just wouldn't have felt comfortable. And it wasn't like I could promise to take them with me & sit with them (as John Wesley did), since I had to be down front. LJ has since passed (he actually did come to church--played a wicked guitar & some keyboards). Duwayne & Heather are no longer together (blew my mind that she left him--they seemed like they'd be together forever). And Robert is living in Colorado now, making six figures a year & owns his own company building raised garden beds!
Jay, This History section is a long way from your normal 'Soppy-Goop' - Your story about Francisco is really fantastic (i.e.“es realmente fantastico”) and definitely heartwarming. With totally different backgrounds and life experiences, it was remarkable to see how well you two were able to connect. Guy
Dearest Jay, Thank you for sharing this. I wish more people were like you, willing to look past a person's surface without judgment. If they were, the world would be a much better place. Sincerely, Mother
Of course, you made a connection over a car; the gearhead that you are. Like you, I enjoy meeting people of diverse cultures. I liked how this story worked out.
Dang Jib, I couldn’t like this more. The Pontiac, if only. I was drooling. I’m a 79 Monte Carlo gal myself but that would do. Drunk/high/unclean, that’s okay. They often get there. You’re kind. It’s touching. And thank you for your service. JB
Nice historical piece Jay. You are a nice guy.
Very enlightening, J-bud. It quickly grabbed my attention and held it the whole way through.
I agree, news make it seem it’s horrible , it’s an apocalypse is happening everyday . We become sterilize by the news . My grandfather when he was alive had a Hudson, he keep it tip top shape. My cousin come every three years and paints it. There is no dent on the car because they used real steal on them. Our neighbors call it Superman car, lol. Some people it’s just hard to learn another language. I know a little Japanese, I kind of rusty cause I don’t used it much. It was very nice to read . どうもありがとうございます Dōmo arigatōgozaimasu