Step Into Hell With Me

Damien slammed the door behind him and was about to ascend the stairs when his mate Alan interfered.

“Yo man what’s going on? Who pissed in your coffee?” he asked half joking and half concerned. They had not been friends for long, however, they had bonded over their love for mind altering products.

“Pissed off man!” he exclaimed, the whites of his eyes becoming one with his eye sockets.

“Did you take a pill or something dude?” Alan prompted as he beat Damien to the first step of the stairs. He set the vulnerable Stella Artois on the corner of the stair whilst keeping a hand on his friend’s chest. “Let’s just check you are alright.”

“I didn’t take shit just charlie,” he defended.

“Come into the kitchen with the rest of the housemates and take a load off.” Damien agreed and followed his friend to the large Victorian style kitchen, the centre of which boasted a large oak kitchen worktop as though it were an island. Four lads sat around it, each engaged in their chosen night’s poison. Damien rolled up a five pound note into a cylindrical shape. When he was satisfied that it was rolled tightly enough, he placed his right index finger on his right nostril closing it shut, positioned himself at the end of one already prepared line, snorted the powder and rubbed his teeth with the remnants not wanting any of it to go to waste no matter how minute. “That’s the stuff,” he announced in satisfaction as the beer washed the debris down.

“I am just sick and tired of Sasha and her shit man!”

“Oh, this again- what has she done now?” Alan asked as he too took a line, Justin was too strung out to string a sentence together so instead, he bore his eyes attentively in Damien’s direction, Steve grabbed his wireless headsets and placed them over his long hair; increased the volume on his phone and refused to allow the lads frivolities to mess with his weighing.

“Mate- she is a fucking cock tease! Can’t be dealing with blue balls all the time fam.” Sniff, drink, line, drink and another sniff.

“Mate, slow down with that,”

Damien’s rage fuelled with the extra help from the powder and drink. Within seconds, he narrated the frustration he had felt all night.

“So, we are at the pub right,”

“Right,”

“As usual, I am buying her drinks and we are having a fucking good time ye, kissing all up on each other, my hands allowed to grab this, grab that-and I am not talking PG,” he sweeps a stray hair back before attempting to continue but it disobeys his command “you see,” he points at the troublesome locks, “I have kept this front long because she says she likes it and, when she runs her hands on,”

“Jesus-dude tmi much?”

Damien is now up fuelled by the irrational rational cooking up in his mind. There he was, cock hard for so long not even a blue pill could compare, he could have sworn his mind was going to blow at one point – or maybe that was just the blow- regardless, he was hoping she would let him release.

“Not just let me get in the cab with her, steaming up the back seat and then,”

“And then what?” an anxious Alan asked. Steve had also let his guard down as he too listened intently to the plight of the abandoned member.

“Cab pulls up outside her yard, I got me hands up her skirt just half-way to feel the heat from the oven ye, mans thinking this is it. Tonight’s the night man, I could tell she was gagging for it,”

“Ye ye get a shift on,”

“Obviously I am ready to hit that, we are both telling her we are ready even the driiiiver knows what time it is!”

“Yea–’’ the guys agree in deep unison.

“When we stop, she grabs my hand all nice and sweet, kissing up on me and then,” Damien throws his lager across the room so hard, it slams against the wall and splashes all across the table almost tainting Steve’s ground herb.

“Mate, I don’t give a fuck wha’ happen’d ye, if you fuck up my shit!” Steve gets up ready to launch for Damien when Alan intercedes.

“Fuckin calm down ye, your shit is safe mate,”

“I am just saying bruv, this ain’t no woman space,”

“Just let him finish the story mahn.”

Damien cools off and waits for Steve to back down. Steve concedes and Damien continues.

“So, I leaned over to open her car door and you know wha’ she says?,” he does not wait for an answer “Goodnight, all soft and purry and shit. Tell you what that did for my cock? Fuck all that’s what.”

“Daaang…” the guys rumble, each mindful of his parts as though they were being subjected to the very same cruelty.

“I have had blue balls for over 6 months! Fuck dat! I am fucking done mate.”

“You ain’t done.”

“I am mate. I am not getting nuffin from her just a pure cock-tease.”

“Don’ be a bell-end. You fucked off Lisa course this bitch got you all kinds of fucked up,” the room fills with heavy raspy laughs hiding behind bong smoke.

“He is over here everyday finding new ways to catch the same fish,”

“There is so many out there, why her?”

“What did you do?”

“Had to bring me ol’ John Thomas back home din I.”

“Fuckin’ell mate. Just fuck her off. You can’t carry on like this. Or get back with Lisa. Does this bird even know you do charlie?”

“Like fuck does she. She is a lil freak but a proper goody two shoes. If she knew, she would not even be near me.”

“There you go- go back to Lisa.”

Except he couldn’t. He had to have her. He had so much more to lose if he didn’t.

XoXo PW