Step Into Hell With Me

The office is freezing when we first get in at the beginning of the shift. Damien had driven in with me as usual and after a few flirtatious pleasantries, I let him go and smoke with the other lads.

“You two are just too cute,” Jenny mumbles as she rubs her hands together and occasionally holds the almost boiled kettle to keep warm. I fetch three mugs from the cupboard, semi-skimmed milk and coffee cream. “You see, you even go to the trouble of adding cream in his coffee. You are like his work wife.”

“Pfff! I wouldn’t go that far!”

“So how far would you go then? Just kissing him on the downlow? Have you ever seen his girlfriend?”

“Yea- she is batters. Her name is Charlie or something.”

“True- she looks like she swallowed a bitter pill but has not discovered that she is allowed to spit it out.” We bitch a bit more about Charlie even though we have only ever seen her photo and based our judgments on what Damien has told us about her.

“Do you remember when he came in with a torn shirt?” Jenny pours water in the coffee mugs and lets me finish my ritual with Damien’s coffee. Everybody knows that I am the only one allowed to make him a coffee.

“He said she attacked him that li'l cow” I say taking my fury out on the spoon. In addition to the coffee issue, I get very defensive about Damien.

Jenny scoffs, picks her cup up and continues to tell me that “he needs to leave her if she is so crazy, but in the short time we have known him, he has on three occasions come in with scratches or marks on his knuckles,” so, I should be wary of him. “It has only been a couple of months since we all met so letting him go should not be a problem.”

“Except there is nothing to let go of because we are just friends. Besides, my cool aunty reckons I should give it a shot if I like him. Forget the age gap, it is the way he makes me feel alive.”

Jenny does not agree. She says she smells a rat. She reckons that he is on that stuff. Says she heard from someone or other that he ran with a certain type of crowd. We sit down at our tables waiting for the clock to strike 9am. We use the 20 minutes left to talk about our pasts and how we were raised. I tell her about a friend that I knew whose brother had been stealing from the family every month to fund his habit. I tell her how his mother still went to see him in jail even when he had messed up. Damien enters the room at this point, kisses my head, rubs my shoulder twice and then plants another kiss on my head.

“Hey gorgeous. What are you so deep in discussion about?”

“I am telling Jenny here how people should not be so judgmental. My mother always said you should forgive no matter what. You never know who you help in the process. I have had to forgive some dark things done to me but hey – what do I know.”

“Jesus, you sound very passionate babes calm down.”

“I am calm” at least I thought I was.

Damien puts his arm around me. “Baby – I don’t like when you get stressed. Let us just enjoy the coffee you made us. Get ready for the day.”

“You are ready for me to kick your ass with these stats today?” I challenge him. Jenny mumbles something about not getting involved in our little tactics today but the last minutes are dedicated to being lost in those eyes. He listens intently as I tell him that I had finally been accepted on my course. He showers me with praise and admiration. I feel strong. I feel unstoppable. I tell him about how charming he is “such a shame you are so young” he frowns but allows me to run my hands threw his hair. A privilege I feel I have earned but simultaneously like I am in control – like he needs me to somehow guide him. He awes at my stories of my brothers wedding and acts jealous when he sees my red outfit.

Darn. Forgot that was not to be seen till the Christmas party.

Think.

“You don’t have to be jealous my little boo thang, I can wear it to the Christmas party,”

Beep. Beep

I point to my headset, smile and wink “Thank you for calling, you are through to renewals how may I help you?” 9am has all of us answering calls designated to last 3minutes. We go through our scripts as fast as we can trying to show off our multi-tasking skills which incorporated taking the customer through their data protection, checking whether any changes needed to made and controlling your vexation when that nerve wracking statement “why has it gone up?” pops up call after call. We had our scripts, but customers miraculously had a script of their own. They all played the same game “I have seen it cheaper,” or, “My neighbours’ has not gone up”. We wave angry arms in the air allowing our vexation to poison others. Any irritation which you we could not shower the customer with was released via shaking invisible objects, squeezing stress balls as you tried to be polite, chewing gum, drinking coffee and snacking.

I feel Damien put his hand on my thigh. I write on a piece of paper

Don’t think that will distract me from beating you!

He glances at the note and laughs. “Yes Mrs Owen, that will renew automatically next year.” He continues to rub my thigh confident that he has beat my stats. He writes:

Come to Christmas party with me.

I accidentally cut my customers’ line.

He laughs triumphantly and takes his headset off.

“It is break time. Think about it and let me know but judging from you dropping the ball earlier, I say you will say yes.”

Richard waits for him by the door. Jenny grabs the note from me.

“You two are so togeva! So, will you go with him?”

“Yes, I will. But just as friends.”

“Sasha, just be careful. I think this is moving too fast. I was comfortable when Tyler was still in the picture but now that he is gone, I don’t want you getting wif him. I fink you are way too good for him babes.”

Too good? How could she think that when he treats me better than any guy I had ever dated, and he was not even my boyfriend. He spent all his time with me and yes, the girl was clingy. She would call him endlessly and give him abuse about being with me.

“Would you like it if your man was spending all his time with another girl?”

“Girl – I have another best friend who is male. We have been friends longer than 16 years and no man has ever come between us. If you are a stable girl, you will not be paranoid or act stupid.”

“Unless you have a psycho boyfriend! You have seen him lose his shit when he loses,” she tucks hair behind her ear. A look of concern rests on her face.

“We know he is competitive that is all! And others just be hating on my baby boo. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I have heard her go off on one on the phone. She is crazy.”

Jenny goes on about how few friends he has and the only ones he does have, just sit around getting high. I tell her that she is wrong because he spends time with me and the most we have ever done was drink wine.

“Fair enough. I will have your back but not because I like him. He creeps me out.”

XoXo PW