Safer Sex Is Better Than No Sex

I. Love. Sex! Engaging in it. Talking about it. Watching it. Writing about it. Born into the sexiest astrological sign of Scorpio, it was all but expected for me to be sex positive! After YEARS of being called everything from a prude (because I wasn't as open-minded about them hiding their love of pornography) to a nymphomaniac (by some who clearly weren't as sexually free as I am), as I approach the end of my fifth decade on this planet, I am fully embracing my nudist free spirit and everything that comes with it! Thankfully, discovering polyamory has shown me how to establish ethical polyandrous relationships allowing me to safely interact with my partners, with or without sex. But who wants to be in a sexless relationship? I am not asexual so I will have what they aren't having!! So... How do I safely maintain multiple loving relationships and remain sexually satisfied? Transparent communication and regular testing to ensure that I have not contracted any sexually transmitted diseases. Why transparent communication? I hate being lied to and I am a bad liar. Why regular testing? I hate condoms but I want my partners to fully trust me.

As a bisexual non-monogamous woman, I regret that I wasn't fully ethical until I left my soon-to-be-ex-husband in 2018. I have never had a problem with having multiple partners as long as ALL of us are transparent and we let each other know of our other sexual partners, especially if any of us are having unprotected sex with others. When I was unethical and failing at monogamy, I was the cheater and the one being cheated on. Trust me, Karma is a fucking vindictive bitch. Once I faced myself honestly and admitted that I am non-monogamous and that I will thrive better in honest and open relationships, for the first time in my life, I felt bad for past men and women that didn't know their "monogamous" Love was with me. ALL of my Loves have been non-monogamous, whether they admitted it to themselves or their partners. Yet for years, nearly from the day I lost my virginity until discovering that I am polyamorous, I never considered the feelings of the people who were being hurt, even though I know how it felt to be cheated on. As my compersion (happiness for someone else's happiness) grew for my Loves, I decided to help others to be more ethical in their loving relationships. It's cheating if you're being selfish and you have to be deceptive. It's polyamory when EVERYONE is aware and has given their consent. Monogamy isn't for everyone and for the record, polyamory doesn't equate to multiple sex partners. Instead, you are allowing yourself to ethically engage in multiple LOVING relationships which may or may not become sexual.

For anyone that has been the cheater, my question to you is do you love yourself enough to forgive yourself for what you have done to your partner(s)? When we don't love ourselves properly, we make damaging and life altering decisions that can severely affect others. Communication and full transparency from now on is the first step to becoming an ethical partner, whether you are monogamous or non-monogamous. The best apology is to never repeat what you have done/stop what you are doing. Also, please make your needs and wants known to your partner(s) before seeking it elsewhere. If you cheated because you lost your job, you may have been trying to escape your reality. If you lost your job because you cheated, was it worth losing your income and possibly your partner? IF they want to continue with the relationship, I suggest each partner seek counseling, individually and as a couple. If they don't want to continue the relationship with you, allow them the freedom to leave without consequences of your actions. Some people cheat out of selfishness, others cheat to escape from their day to day routines. The truth of the matter is that there is NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING! As for regaining trust, that is going to take time and you can not rush someone else into allowing you back into their heart. You must realize that you have hurt your partner deeply with your deception. Hopefully you were protected outside of your relationship or else you may have left the door open for future pain and heartache (unplanned pregnancy, STDs, psychotic lovers). I wish you the best of luck. 💗

For anyone that has been the recipient of infidelity, my heart goes out to you as you may be thinking that you are the reason why you were cheated on. You may have actually been TOLD so but worry not. It was never you, it was ALWAYS your selfish partner. We all have free will and you didn't force them to cheat on you: they made the conscious choice of infidelity. Love yourself enough to see your worth and share your love with someone who truly deserves to be with you!

Now that I'm back to fully loving myself, I have no desire to disrespect my partners by sneaking around just to get laid or disrespect myself by having risky unprotected sex with my partners no matter how much I trust them. Together, we will all get tested regularly and continue enjoying the freedom of our open relationships with honesty and transparency.

PeaceLoveHappinessPolyamory

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#AuthorLeaMishell #SexPositive #Unfiltered #Transparency #Infidelity #EthicalNonMonogamy #Polyandry #VocalCreator