Pornography...

There is an existing tension about pornography. What it portrays, how it affects us in our everyday lives. What it births into our society and how it may be holding us back in our need for a sexual and intimate revolution. This tension has created heated debates, outbursts of rage, and contempt.

This makes it hard to acknowledge that there may be some crucial indications. A positive way forward for those who overconsume pornography and for the existence of pornography in society. Not in a way that forces people to immediately desist from watching it, but in a way to analyse what pulls them into watching pornography, reproducing the efficacious results, spreading over the undeniable developments, cutting out the festering wounds, and undeniably stand for choice in the lives we want and what we instil in them. Porn could have giveaways that could trickle down into other sex-orientated industries and individuals. Giveaways to shape our societies for the better.

Dr. Terry A. Kupers, a psychiatrist in Oakland, wrote a book called Pornography And Intimacy in 2015. In the book, he writes about how heterosexual men resort to pornography as a way to solve an array of problems they encounter in their intimate lives.

He states, "The pornographic woman is an effective mirror for a man who wishes to see himself as larger than life. That by writhing and moaning, lets the man know how much he is desired." He also writes that it is a man's sensitivity to real women that moves him to create a secret place where he uses the pornographic woman to stroke his ego.

"Of course a sensitive man would never demand that his mate override her own moods and inclination to be sexually available whenever he feels the urge, his sensitivity toward women prevents him from faulting her -consciously- but unconsciously he may be fuming.", he added.

In my opinion, the men's honesty (Dr. Kuper's patients) about their secret pornographic activities gave Dr. Kupers and them a trail to where their issues may really lie and eventually how to fix them. Whether this turns into a fruitful venture is another story, a story without impossibilities. Suffering from neglect; lack of love, comfort and support; doesn't have to end one way yet cultivating a new life from it seems bleak when in that stand point and at times, as a spectator as well.

Then it leaves a question, what about women? Where can I get a perspective about women and pornography?

And there was my answer...

"I chose my career because I am passionate about it" - The words proudly uttered by a sex worker.

I watched an independently hosted TED talk of a sex worker a while ago who has been working as a sex worker for over 30 years. She said that she had been inspired to become a sex worker by saloon girls in the old TV westerns.

According to her, they seemed independent, colourful and free in their entrepreneurship and feminine power compared to the married women living on the outskirts of the town being led by their husbands. This had empowered her to pursue a life as a sex worker. She has, apparently, had the best career she could ever ask for, absolutely successful. She had never been abused or violated sexually, regardless of the few rude customers she had encountered. She is a symbol of the kind of prospects young people who go into the sex industry are striving for. She achieved a full, satisfying life with a career concluded as disgusting and demeaning; though she still painfully struggles for the basic rights to own an apartment under her own name, or have a tax-free savings account to save for a business venture. Valerie Scott is proud to be a sex worker and is an advocate for sex workers and their rights. You can watch her TEDx Talk here.

Valerie's story had solidified my suspicions of sex work being a desirable prospect for some people. Their actual dream!

What about people of other genders, how do they feel?

How does this affect them?

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This raised a few more questions for me:

• Could there be actual benefits, besides money, for anyone involved in pornography in any way? This includes consumers, cameramen, producers, pornography stars, distributors, etc.

• Will the fight for the restriction against pornography hinder people from participating in all the negatives about the pornographic industry?
• What will be the actual benefits of restricting pornography?
• What are the benefits of increased public access to pornography?

• What would the benefits be to the pornographic industry if prostitution was decriminalized and sex workers are given labour rights?

So, clearly, I have more than a few questions.

I also have a lot of follow-up questions of which I did not mention.

Possibly, I did not convince you of my point.

But maybe you can convince yourself. If you have ever watched pornography in the past, I urge you to analyse your emotions and psychological state at the time. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Why you watched pornography?
2. How it benefited you?
3. How you turned out as an individual?
4. How has it affected your relationships with people, especially romantic relationships?
5. And finally, if everybody was like you according to the answers you gave for the above questions, would you shut down the pornographic industry?