So, You Are Wondering About Having A Purpose...

These are some of the questions that run through most of our minds.

So far I have only been able to answer the last question.

Having a purpose (for me) seems to only delay the realization that there is no point to my existence. Not a point I know of or feel. I felt that my existence had no point quite a long time ago, I have known it for almost half of my life and it hasn't gone away. The truth is hard to forget. It seems we only get better at lying so that we somehow run away from it.

Some people say that the point of life is to live it. I hear that and it may be true. I am already in this life and death hasn't taken me yet so, yes I would prefer living the best life I can live. A life that feels happy and fulfilled but I want to know a few things still.

I want to know who set the terms of my life.

Who gave me life?

Did I have a choice?

Did I choose to live life?

What kind of choice was it?

Was it a lesser evil choice or did I just come up with the concept of my own life?

To Each His/Her/Their Own

As we know, our lives have some similarities. For instance, we all breathe some form of oxygen and we need food to live - although I have heard of a man who lives off of energy alone. WHAT?? Yep, he does.

And then there are our differences. Differences are not always obvious and they are not always harmful. They do inherit a difference in treatment and behavior especially from people, which is not always harmful either. I find it fair that we are treated as different individuals. I think that differences are good and all differences should be accommodated. A world for sociopaths, a world for hippies, a world for fantasies, a world for rapists, a world for superheroes. Yes, I said rapists and sociopaths and I feel terrible, but hear me out.

A world for rapists and sociopaths SHOULD NOT exist in a world where those things cause harm and are, flat out, a crime to humanity. They should maybe have their own planet somewhere where they can do what they want without their actions being a destruction of life and souls. Everyone wants freedom and acceptance, and in one way or another, we are all villains, heroes and victims.

All kinds of worlds should exist if they want to especially if there is someone or a group of people that exist without a world to accommodate them fully and unconditionally. A world where parents can mold their children into what they want them to be, a world where children can do it themselves, and a world where they can do it together.

These worlds should exist without restricting or causing harm to one another. It is a 'To Each His/Her/Their Own' kind of philosophy.

"I Don't Like the Taste of Things"

So a man lives off of energy alone. He lives money-free and travels on foot. His concept of living off of energy alone makes some sense to me because everything we already consume physically, mentally, and emotionally brings us the energy we need or at least want. He just wants it without certain things attached to it. Which I would suspect are our dependence on people, regret, and pain - just to name a few. Hopefully, he will be gaining a great path in his life. Maybe the reason for his path is just as simple as him not liking the taste of food. Unfortunately, he may have only chosen that path because it's a lesser of two evils which, again, I hope this was not the case.

People want to be loved and have some form of companionship.

That means that they have or at least crave the energy to give and receive love and companionship. Energy is such a curious, pathetic and necessary thing. It shows you what you are feeling and what kind of life you have lived.

It limits, even more, what you can do and it is almost impossible to come back from burning out. Some do come back. It's just rare. People usually burn out from giving everything they are and have to something that, unfortunately, didn't work out. Sometimes it's because it took too long to work out. It was just too late.

Depression hits hard, poverty hits even harder.

You find yourself having to fight to eat every day and on some days, just leave yourself to starve because it's not worth the fight even if you had the energy. You are beating yourself up and you are empty. You are bruised, humiliated, and have too many wounds and scars to live with. Yet somehow you are still alive. You wish, pray and attempt death upon yourself then you are too tired to try. Maybe your will shall get you there. You are beyond exhaustion so you sit and sleep then eventually your sleep depletes. It has depleted because even though you are truly burnt out, your body has done next to nothing and has all this energy stored up. It all feels like failure and no-way-out.

Mental and emotional health should be a priority amongst other things. I recently joined online therapy and it is much harder than I thought it would be to see myself. The company is called Online-Therapy, and you can join now while they still have 20% off your first month with them. They even have a quick "how am I doing" test.

A whole lot of wants, not enough power.

I want to time travel and I want to travel through dimensions and space. I want to be able to breathe and live anywhere I want and choose. I want to continuously create a path for myself. To exercise my goddess powers for me. I have no desire to rule over people, control lives, or have people that do not want to be around me. I do, however, want to be able to communicate with all kinds of living, non-living, half-living, tiny, huge anything and anyone and everything else. I want to fully fathom my own mind and find out what nothing is. I want to know what it really is that we feel, our emotions, physical pain, the strain of the mind.

I guess it would be more of: What did the creator/s intend my life to be and if it happened as he/she/them/it wanted it to.

As usual, the cost tends to be high!

Opportunities are afforded. The costs are usually someone else's desires. Regrets and resentment come with the frustrations of afforded opportunities. Things fail and fall apart and for some people bad is about 90 or even 100% of their lives. The worst of the worst emotions will come about and you will throw them onto people you are comfortable with and to yourself. Yet you will be so afraid to give your pain and wrath to those whom you feel deserve it when they did you wrong. Sometimes that is because they are assisting in keeping you from starving to death and/or homelessness.

Happy and good are hard to have and hard to take when they are given.

Even harder when you have worked and given no good result. It doesn't all end badly, not for everyone. Plenty of people take huge risks in their lives and it pays off. A lot of them don't even have to take risks, the good luck is just with them. You may be one of them. We don't have control but you can hope to have good luck on your side.

Do you see a purpose?

Do you know why you have or would need a purpose?

Do you want a purpose?