Never Fake Orgasms Again

Please, stop faking orgasms! I've heard women joke and complain about having to constantly fake orgasms.

Here's an unpopular news flash - if you're faking it, it's your fault. If you're not getting there, just say so. If you can complain about faking it, you can be honest with your partner about it. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, you don't need to be sleeping with them.

I get it. You don't want to hurt the poor guy's (or girl) feelings. But, guess what hurts more? Hearing you laughing with your friends about how stupid he is that he can't even get you over the finish line.

Honestly, if I ever heard a partner talking about something like that behind my back, I'd dump them immediately. I want respect and trust in a relationship, especially a sexual one. If you're not going to be honest about sex, what else are you lying about?

Communication Is Key To Great Sex

It's true that it's often easier for guys to go from 0-60 to done much faster than women. For a woman, we need some detours, a little sight-seeing, maybe a layover here and there, and sometimes, even then, we just don't quite get all the way.

Sure, the journey felt great, but there's no toe-curling, clawing the sheets, guttural scream orgasm. It's just okay.

If that's the norm, talk to your partner. Don't blame them. Just talk to them. If they care at all, they'll want to do whatever they can to make sex just as pleasurable for you as it is for them. If they don't care, leave. They're not worth your time.

By now, you probably know what you like. Help your partner by sharing how you like to be touched. How fast or slow? More pressure or less? How much foreplay?

When you're faking orgasms, you're sending your partner all the wrong clues. How are they supposed to know you're not enjoying yourself if you're moaning even when you're not really into it? See, it's your fault that you're not being honest.

You can't expect someone to magically please you when you lie to them. Plus, sex with a new partner isn't always going to be great the first time or even the first several times. Taking some time to get to know each other and each other's bodies is crucial.

But, that takes communication. If it's too embarrassing to talk about, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

Be Patient With Each Other

If you're the guy or girl that's suddenly discovered your partner isn't having the big O, don't feel ashamed. Just be patient and listen. Encourage your partner to be honest with you and don't get angry.

Remember, even if this isn't the love of your life and it's just a random hookup, you can both learn something. Maybe you can learn a new technique to try on a new partner later on. Maybe you'll show your partner something they didn't even realize they liked. But, it takes patience and communication, even if you've just met.

Take a Time Out

If your partner is trying their best to help you finish, but it's just not working, take a time out. Maybe you're feeling stressed or your mind is just elsewhere. Explain that you need a minute to get back into the moment, or maybe right now just isn't the best time.

Then, when you're ready and more relaxed, go for it. You'll both enjoy it a lot more if both of you are in the same headspace and ready to get off together.

You're Ruining Your Own Sex Life

I recently read a thread on Reddit where women were bashing men for being so horrible at sex. The few men brave enough to say "why didn't you just say something" were run off like Frankenstein's monster. I could almost see women with torches and pitchforks running after these poor guys.

But, ladies (and even the guys who fake it), you're ruining your own sex life. Imagine if you just spoke up and gave a little guidance how much better sex would be.

Forget faking orgasms. Once you start faking, you have to keep faking. What's the point? Just masturbate if sex with someone else is that bad.

After reading that Reddit thread, I came to the same conclusion as some of the guys. Far too many women said they had to fake it with almost every sexual encounter. See what faking it gets you? Bad sex. Over and over again. Imagine if the woman before you had told the guy what to do differently. She'd have had an amazing orgasm and so would you.

It's time to take a little more responsibility of your sexual pleasure. First, figure out how to push your own buttons. Then, speak up and help your partner, no matter what their gender, learn what works for you. Also, be willing to listen to what gets them off too.