January 7, 2021

Dear Diary,

Here we are.... 2021. Everybody is probably starting a challenge of some sort and I'm just hoping this is NOT how my year will be. Damn car wont start!!! Anyway.... not too bad of a situation. That's really all that brought my holidays down. Other than that it was ok. As for my love life..... lets just say... I think this time I'm free!! Me and Jaylan been at this for a decade and some change. TOO FUCKIN LONG!!! He forever single but I can't talk to anyone else. Like how the hell does that work? IT DONT!!! I wasted far too much time and even more time on emotions with that lil boy!! LOL!! I'm soo done now!!! I been tryin to get away from him for years and now I think this time.... Imma bounce!! I always loved that boy. Forever loved that boy and I didn't get that in return, so now I'm too old and too annoyed to be dealin with that. I think his bitch ass messed with my car really but that's a different story (rolls eyes). His ass always said he would do some ol petty ass shit like that LMAO! I'm soo annoyed you have no idea! But whatever. I wish him all the best LOVE YA LMAO!! It was real suga!! Much love!! I just know I can get back to ME!! Who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing in life. What makes me happy? What have I always wanted to try? I always looked better anyway LMAO!!! I need to do my hair, but I really don't want to. Anyway yeah.... fuck all them challenges bro. I'm just gonna love myself this year and still date because it’s fun but I’ll be damned if I hold my breath on any man.

Well new relationship is on the rise…… Maybe!! There’s O and he’s cool…. kinda. I didnt really like how he kind of dismissed me when my car was acting up. I really think his mouth wrote a check his ass can’t cash. He was all like, I’m going to help you pay for your car issues. YEAH OK!!!! I already knew that wasn’t going to happen lol, so I didn’t really think anything of it. I think he was just trying to be supportive, but it was a stupid thing to say. Just hope it wasn’t a red flag to where if I go through something, he’s just gonna stay away. I mean I don’t look for men to help me like that because it doesn’t happen for me like that. Men just don’t help me out like that. PSA MEN…. Don’t offer help if your lame ass don’t really mean it. Just shut the fuck up please. He’s also very political and keeps track of politics which I really don’t care for. I am not political at all and I do what I have to do no matter who is in office. He’s not really my type… PHYSICALLY. He’s dark skinned and maybe 5’9 to 5’10 and I have always been with brown to high yella men that are 6’2 to 6’6. He is cute and charming and funny and goal oriented (yes he is making things actually happen), and just a bunch of other awesome qualities I love. NOW SEX!!! OMFG!!! The sex is soooo good I just want to do it all the time with him. There has never been a man to make me come from the back and YEP DIARY, HE DID THAT SHIT!! He always says how sexy I am and he’s always slappin my ass or randomly kissing me when we are together. OMG and get this…… HE TOOK MY ASS OUT IN PUBLIC!!! AND he slapped my ass IN PUBLIC, kissed me IN PUBLIC, held my hand IN PUBLIC. I mean just a load of PDA which I sooo loved!! He has a son that lives with him which is cool. I know I always said I would never date a man with kids, but I mean he’s sooo fucking awesome and his son is soo funny. I don’t have to deal with baby momma drama too much because one has passed away (God rest her soul) and the other one is out of state sooo I’m free and clear for the moment, I guess. Never really delt with baby momma drama because I always dated guys without kids (Jaylan DOES NOT COUNT). He’s a great father and seems like he’ll be a great boyfriend, fiancé or husband. I’m not sure yet but I guess we’ll see how that plays out. Pray I don’t have to find someone else again cuz ya girl is getting quiet tired of dating though. I just want to stick with one man that wants to stick with me. Anyway… Imma Holla Atcha!!!