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How to subtly and elegantly tease a guy?


By Dylan M ParkinPublished 2 years ago 5 min read

The most important thing is that you have to be confident, but when you talk to a guy you like, you stumble, and you don't know how to show your charm.

The following from the perspective of psychology and social science to help you clear the obstacles on the way to chase men.

During the epidemic, several of my single lady friends, have encountered the same dilemma.

Chatting with interested guys on the phone, but all stuck in the step of not being able to meet.

In general, online chat for a few days, mutual feeling good, then about a meeting to drink tea to see the feeling.

Now a long time stuck in the chat okay, meeting can not be the case, very awkward.

Nothing more than to introduce themselves, spit out spit out work life, and then deeper is the evaluation of the views of a certain event, do not meet simply no way to move forward next.

Many days chatting and chatting will be dry, boring, there is a sense of tasteless and discarded chicken ribs.

There is also a lady who directly chatted a guy who was very interested to death.

The "chatting is really a technical job!" The group sighed.

To be fair, for two people to take their relationship further, 3D offline contact is very necessary.

But in today's trend of internet dating, chatting and giving each other good fantasies can definitely increase your chances of grasping your destiny, and also make offline meetings more natural and smooth.

If the time comes offline and then a "fatal blow to the soul", love will come.

Love is not simple to say, it is not difficult to say, it depends on attraction, do not chase hard.

Just focus on the moment, focus on the here and now, in the interaction with the TA to create a good experience to make the TA linger, naturally came.

To share a few chat to adjust the mindset, increase their own attractiveness, increase the intimacy and interaction between the two sides of the framework of fun it.

I. Cold knowledge: three brain areas about love

Here it is important to mention a concept first. Through studies of the brain, biological anthropologists have found that the human brain responds in three different ways to the understanding of love.

1. Sexual arousal: the most primitive stimulus for a person. Appearance, smell, sexual characteristics that attract you, sexy gestures, etc., but also the novelty of fresh flesh. Each person has individual differences.

2. romantic fantasy: mystery, desire to explore; fantasy, glorification and idealization of the other person.

3. intimacy and dependence: self-exposure, mutual trust, life dependence, mutual support, shared commitment, friendship love.

During the attraction building phase, 1 and 2 play a major role. During the long-term relationship phase, the influence of 3 becomes increasingly important.

All three parts of the brain activate different areas.

1 Sexual arousal and 2 romantic fantasy are part of passionate love, and they can occur either simultaneously or separately.

Examples of separation

a. For example, men like to watch big-breasted actresses in pornography. Just because an actress arouses men sexually does not mean they will have romantic relationship fantasies about her.

b. Some guys and girls are full of romantic scenarios fantasies about the goddess male god in their hearts, a white moonlight, but there is no urgent need to have a relationship with each other.

In the attraction stage, and a person chat, we mainly do, is to stimulate each other's 1 and 2, appropriate to stimulate 3.

The specific methods are as follows: adjusting chat patterns & social network image building.

Here are some of the ways to do this.

Adjustment of chat patterns

Our conversations generally have the following common patterns.

A. Daily trivial report: what did you do today, what did you have for dinner, what is the specific time and place and plan

B. Entertaining conversation: expressions, throwing stems and picking up stems, chatting about interesting gossip, humorous teasing, ambiguous language, etc.

C. Opinion-based collision: views on some events, evaluation of some views, understanding of life, expectations and planning for the future, etc.

D. Expression of emotional feelings: express their emotional feelings, such as aggression, sadness, happiness, pride. It is mainly for the emotions triggered by things in life, or the feelings brought about by the experiences in the process of growing up.

Theoretically, A to D is a progression of familiarity and intimacy.

B and C are usually best used in the attraction building phase.

When used well, B and C can give the other person a particularly good interactive experience and greatly increase their desire to explore you further, i.e., stimulate their romantic fantasies about you.

Frequent use of A will make both sides feel no fun, easy to talk into the day into a dead end, it is easy to talk about your attractiveness is gone.

And D is the self-exposure of vulnerability, often very easy to advance the sense of intimacy, but also has two risks.

1. in the case of not meeting unfamiliar, we will instinctively do self-protection, will not overly expose themselves naked in front of each other.

2. the attraction stage of excessive self-exposure, will be easy to lose the sense of mystery, so that the other party lost the desire to explore, and to advance the relationship is the need for some passion and curiosity driven.

So, let the other person like your chatting pattern: initially use more B and C to increase attraction, moderate use of D to advance intimacy and trust, and selective use of A.

Many people who have no desire to chat often go all the way to black with A.

Of course, it is worth noting that interaction requires a balance of income and expenditure.

The first thing you need to do is to listen to the other person and guide them into the rhythm of the same frequency. The most important thing is to make sure that you don't get a lot of attention.

In addition, in addition to the content of the conversation, the frequency of the conversation, the minefield to avoid, and the timely closing at the climax and other tips can also help maintain the enthusiasm and desire to explore, helping both sides more motivated to advance the relationship. We'll share these later.

【Social network image building ----- how to send a circle of friends】

We began by talking about the importance of sexual arousal in building attraction.

In addition to creating a nice interactive experience in chat and making the other party feel interested in continuing to explore you, sexual attraction is just as important.

A good looking photo of your circle of friends can greatly enhance your sexual attraction in the other person's mind. Combined with the other party's desire for exploration and closeness to you inspired by the chat, taken together the healing effect is even better.

Of course the meaning of social network image building is much more than just "selling sex".


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    DMPWritten by Dylan M Parkin

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