How to Have Quiet Sex
If you're visiting the potential in-laws for a week, you better know how to have quiet sex. These are the most silent sex positions, and the best tips to make it noiseless.
Good sex is often not quiet. It's loud. There's moaning, beds squeaking, the sound of skin hitting skin... Well, let's just say that there's a lot going on in the bedroom. Unfortunately, loud sex is not always doable.
There are neighbors, roommates, or even worse, your partner's parents, who might be nearby. If you want to make sure that situations don't get awkward, then you need to know how to have quiet sex.
Most people learn how to do this by high school, but if you were late on that train, it's important to learn now. Speaking as a sex expert and someone who's had to learn it the hard way, here are the best positions and tips to make it work.
Spooning is a great position for this.
Part of learning how to have quiet sex is to learn about positions that minimize hard impact noises — and also go gentle enough that you don't end up yelping due to an accidental hit to the cervix. Spooning keeps things slow, gentle, and quiet in terms of "smacking" sounds.
That being said, it's great for a sensual romp and will still satisfy both of you, even if you have to stay quiet. It's also one of the best positions for sex in public.
Another good position is Lotus.
Lotus has a similarly quiet style to it, and involves minimal movement. Much like Spooning, Lotus is also one among others on how to have quiet sex. It allows you to have sex, get good angles in there, and improve intimacy on a number of levels. There's no smacking around, because thrusting with this position is more or less about rocking back and forth.
Lotus is also really good for couples who are looking to avoid penetration that's too deep, since you can shift your hips to keep things shallow if need be.
Focus on foreplay, and consider opting for 69.
Sometimes, reading up on how to have quiet sex isn't enough. For some rare people, there's no such thing as having sex without having lots of noise. It's true, I've met people like this, and unfortunately, all the lecturing and precautions out there will do them no good.
If you're really worried about noise during sex, or if you have a partner who can't keep quiet, then you might want to focus on foreplay. Foreplay is quieter, and you both can get pleasure from it. Mutual oral, such as 69, can give you guys a chance to climax — without a lot of the noise involved.
The right foreplay tips can really turn quiet sex smoking hot. So, if you're not good at the pregame, read up on some tips on getting your partner into it.
Jokes aside, a ball gag can seriously reduce the noise level if your partner can't help but keep quiet. It also can add a lot of kink to your sex session, regardless of which position you decide to use.
Quiet sex doesn't have to mean boring sex, and with the right accessories, it can be downright kinky. Get creative with it. If you don't have a ball gag, you can make a makeshift one with rope, or stuff a tied up sock in their mouth.
Ball gags are awesome for quiet sex. It's a good way to make BDSM play work for your preferred noise level.
If you insist on Missionary or Doggy Style, then do it on the floor rather than a bed.
Yes, it's possible to learn how to have quiet sex in more traditional positions, too. Doggy and Missionary are two common positions people love. However, they come with caveats — since people tend to get loud with these.
Both of these positions can be quiet, if you are careful and don't have a tendency to scream due to cervical impact. However, they can only really be that quiet if you end up avoiding the squeak of mattresses.
These positions can be a bit hard on the knees, though, without a mattress. A quick fix is to grab a pillow, pad the knees, and have sex on the floor. The less mattress squeaking you deal with, the better off you'll be.
That being said, Missionary is good if you're okay with covering your partner's mouth when they get loud. Doggy Style? Not so much. Choose wisely if you're dating a screamer.
Try to focus on not moaning.
If you're the loud one, congrats. Your noises probably turn on your partner most of the time. However, if you're going to try to have stealth sex in a place where it could lead to bad things happening, those noises are now the enemy.
A good way to make your noise level go down is to try to "breathe out" all the moans so that they turn into gasps and sighs rather than "oohs" and "ahhs."
Consider grabbing a pillow and screaming in that, if it's hard to keep quiet.
The truth is that some sex is so good, you can't actually help but moan, yelp, and scream. Thankfully, humanity has invented one of the best tools to learn how to have quiet sex that still satisfies: a pillow.
If you can't help but scream, grab a pillow, and muffle the screams with it. You might look ridiculous, but it's 100 percent better than being caught with your (literal) pants down in an awkward position.