How I love ‘How to build a sex room’

Firstly I salute Melanie Rose, interior designer for coming to our screens and talking about sex in a frank and forthright way.

A lady who is right up my street!(I wish she was!)

Sex shouldn’t be a subject that is taboo or repressed.

This Netflix show is an eye opener and not just for the kinky!

Even if you don’t think you have any kinks, it will leave you questioning whether you should try some or at the very least leave you feeling horny!

And if you love interior design, this certainly has an edge.

As a person who enjoys interior design and mixing styles up, I’m more than happy watching the Interior design challenge or Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen’s opulent design and flair on Changing Rooms but this show provides an extra notch or two, to the excitement levels!

My mind was alive, buzzing with ideas, what would be the perfect sex room for me?

Despite not owning a home but a motorhome, my ears pricked up when a motorhome couple had their camper designed into a sex home on wheels, their rose quartz dildo suited my style!

In this show Melanie Rose designs bespoke sex rooms. She has been a high end interior designer for over 15 years, and one day a client asked her to design a sex room for them and in her words, she thought ‘why not?!’ Now, for over 10 years she had been designing almost exclusively ‘pleasure rooms’. How wonderful!

Over 8 episodes, Melanie visits different locations in American and a cross section of couples from different ethnicities and orientation, straight, gay, lesbian, polyamory and a single lady dating, finding their requirements for their perfect pleasure room.

And as each person or couple has their uniqueness and quirks in tastes of interior design, also do they in their sexual desires.

This show really explores the element of new and surprise and pushes boundaries for the couples as they get to explore options with Melanie, pushing them to find out what they may or may not like. And you get to see, what was too much or what was an unexpected surprise!

This was fascinating, being shown couples exploring a new world of pleasure/kinks, which most of us wouldn’t get to experience or see in real life, it’s a new and safe journey being shown on our screens that let’s us venture into new waters. Whether it’s just in the mind or reality, such as bondage, shibari and electrical play!

I’m certainly open and curious.

Just because you haven’t tried it yet, how do you know you won’t like it?

And what it wrong with exploring fantasties? whether they are just that or become more!

‘‘A sex room can be anything from a sumptuous bedroom to a dungeon under the stairs. But when I design them, they can be beautiful, they can be works of art, they can be fantasies, they can be anything my client desires’’ -Melanie Rose

The dynamic between Melanie and her right hand man, general contractor Mike is fun to watch, Mike has to get involved in more than he sometimes bargains for! It’s a lovely chemistry.

I would love to spend a day with Melanie, shopping for a new bag of ‘tricks’ in the form of sex toys and pleasure/play items. You would quite literally be buzzing!

The show had me immediately browsing pleasure items online and gave some new ideas to add to the mix and I wondered in my 43 years, how sexually satisfied had I been? How had I communicated with partners in terms of wants and needs and desires?

I guess I’ve become a little over zealous and gung-ho as I’ve grown older because I’ve accepted who I am and happy with who I am.

Ultimately it puts you in a position of vulnerability and sensitivity talking so personally about intimacy and what makes you tick, but it builds bridges and strengthens your relationships.

If you don’t ask you don’t get!

Growing older you learn to accept your body and have had chance to get to know yourself, I’ve felt more comfortable and confident with age. It’s important to know what turns you on. I see self pleasure as self care and why shouldn’t we?

Empowerment is finding out your needs and looking after them.

And as a poet who loves breathing the air of romance with a pinch of erotica to spice up the day to day, writing is a great release and form of communication, why not release your desires, wants, needs, your fantasies? Be bold, be brave!

(In whichever way that is right for you) write them, sing them, draw them, sculpture them, dance them!

This was the subject of my first published Poetry book-exploring innermost feelings and desires through verse and story. (Poetry Inspired by Oliver-Fantasy and Friendship. Olympia publishers 2018)

Feeling pleasure is not exclusive to a certain cross section of people, you don’t need a partner to experience pleasure, you can share the pleasure with a partner and grow your relationship through communication strengthening bonds and getting to know each other, which is a beautiful thing.

Ultimately, pleasure is a human necessity and one we shouldn’t deny ourselves of! Whatever position we are in or wherever we find ourselves in our journey through life.

Embrace our bodies, explore the sensual, the candles, the lighting, the feathers.

Create the ambience, put the rose petals in the bath water, see what you like, buy a butt plug or paddle. What’s most important is ‘you be you’!

What did you last do that made you feel sexy? So dress in what makes you feel good, indulge your senses with music, scent, dance, let yourself go and feel empowered.

Melanie walks around suburbia with her ‘Mary Poppins’ magic bag, introducing some items already tried and others to be tested to her new clients.

If you are intrigued as to what piece of ‘exercise equipment’ a St Andrew’s Cross is..I did not know until I watched the show. Then watch!

Or if you fancy a bit of swank and sexy?

Or is a rock n roll dungeon is your style?

Perhaps it’s sexy hot tub heaven or to be a pole dancing Queen?

There is so much to open your eyes and minds here!

This show is a joy, it’s sexual liberation, it’s encouraging oneness.

It’s important for women to talk about their wants and needs without feeling it’s not the norm for their ‘gender’ or ‘culture’ to say what they want and how they feel without judgement.

It’s important for a man to be able to talk about feelings without persecuted, as ego could see this as a weakness.

And if we do judge others, what are we repressing, what are we holding back? Why can’t we accept somebody who has a different opinion or who has a different sexuality or ethnicity?

Embrace your inner goddess or warrior. Your divine masculine and divine feminine.

I say thank you to the people who took part in the show to let us into their personal private world, we can all learn a thing or two through sharing and speaking to one another from the heart and openly.

Break the barriers of your mind!

And watch ‘How to build a sex room’ on Netflix.

Love Victoria x