Gimme Gimme GImme A Man After Midnight

Okay, online dating sometimes has perks, really good perks.

If you’ve been following my other articles about my adventures in online dating, you already know that I’ve been having some trouble on that forefront. It’s been about four months since I’ve been doing this and honestly it has not been going well. It’s given me some great comedic material to work with though but not much else.

Until last night when I got a message from a guy in Alaska.

I’m not a girl who looks for quick hookups or anything, I just enjoy talking to people and seeing if there’s a connection. And to try out flirting, I’m not very good at it so I figured online dating could help me hone in on what my flirting vibe actually is.

So, last night, I matched online with a guy from Alaska, I live in California. So, obviously we can’t physically meet up.

But we started chatting around 9 pm my time and the next thing I know is its well past midnight and out of nowhere, I asked him when the last time he had sex was. And when he says it’s been a few months, I reply that it’s been about the same for me too.

Then I, for some reason, asked him what his favorite position was.

It might have had something to do with the bottle of wine I had while talking with him for over three hours.

He answers that his favorite is eating a woman out, then sends a wink emoji.

Then proceeded to tell me how he’d do that to me.

...and when I say that I melted, believe me that there is absolutely nothing, NOTHING, sexier than a man who knows how to please a woman with his mouth. And is not afraid to get descriptive.

I’m getting warm just thinking back to the filthy description he sent me.

He didn’t steal it from a book or a fanfic piece either, I checked.

Some guys do that, and it’s lazy.

But this guy, wow.

Just, wow.

So, obviously, I gave him my SnapChat account.

And we proceeded to sext each other till about 3 am.

That is one dick pic that I saved, I am not ashamed to say that. I don’t condone dick pics, but this time I did ask for it and I was not disappointed.

Especially with his deep baritone voice in the background, telling me how he would love for me to wrap my lips around the tip and suck till he pulled me off by my hair and then threw me on the bed to destroy me for all other men.

To be honest, I will compare other men to that man’s ability to bring me to multiple orgasms with his words alone.

My record for physical sex is ten, last night I had twelve.

How could he break that record from a thousand miles away? I honestly, am not entirely sure, but some men have a magical ability because they understand what women want.

It’s not a mystery what we want.

Wine, chocolate, orgasms, no judgments about our body, to have jobs where we are not held back by sexist bosses, and to have autonomy over our bodies.

We are not that difficult to figure out guys.

This guy not only respected my boundaries, he asked me twice if I was sure I wanted to engage in basically video sex which is not something I thought I’d ever do.

“We don’t have to do anything.”

Ooooooh

NOW we do.

Whew, I have no problem with the fact that he obviously been with a lot of women. THe things he told me he had obviously practiced, but I do not care at all.

When he said he wanted to slip his tongue inside me and make me arch my back and scream his name like it was the only word I knew, I was already a mess.

Then he went on. And on.

He said his lips wouldn’t leave my p*ssy until I had come at least three times because “you should be a wreck before I decide it’s time to take a little pleasure for myself from deep inside you.”

God DAYUM.

I had more fun from an hour of sexting this stranger from Alaska than any other man I’ve been with physically.

So, maybe online dating isn’t SO bad.

Either way, I might go text him and see what he’s doing tonight.