Do strippers fall in love with their clientele?

I'll never forget walking into my first strip club. I was in college, my boyfriend at the time and I had planned with a group of friends to go to the club, and I brought a whopping $40 with me in ones because to my broke college ass that was a lot of money. Just a group of broke college kids going to a club on a Friday night.

The club we went to was an old run down club that had switched management multiple times and was well on its way out from a mix of neighborhood disapproval and a bank account in the red. It smelled like beer, body odor, and Victoria's Secret body spray. A couple years later, I would work in club like this and absolutely adore it in all its outdated glory. My dear friend was several sheets to the wind and talking to a lovely dark haired dancer that was very sweet. I had talked to her outside about her cats and what she was going to school for. She had gone away from my very intoxicated friend to "go to the bathroom," a trick I learned later on to get away from men who were either super drunk or weren't going to tip.

"I think she really likes me," he said, slurring a little.

"I think she's really good at her job," I said, knowing even before I stepped a clear heel onstage how the game was set.

"No, no no....I think she really likes me. Like REALLY likes me."

If you're wondering, the pretty dancer never came back. But I can't help but think of this story when I get asked the question: Do dancers ever fall in love with clients?

Let me answer the question in a black and white way first, then I'll get into more detail. I hate to disappoint anyone, but no. Dancers do not fall in love with their clientele. I know there's a few stories of dancers meeting someone in the club, falling head over heels, going to Vegas, starting a pot farm, and living the good life, but I'm here to tell you that reality is far from common. VERY far from common. A dancer's job is to be a fantasy, and very rarely does the dream subject come out and interact in real life. Unless a dancer has a side gig as Freddy Kruger.

The longer answer is complicated. In a way, you kind of have to fall in love with your clientele. Like any good actor, you have to use personal experience to produce the most realistic fantasy. Particularly regulars. But, it's not in a romantic kind of way. I had a regular who would always come in at the end of the night and get dances with me. He said he always liked getting dances from me last because I made him laugh and he left the club on a great note. Heartwarming right? He was an adorable man that always wore cartoon shirts to the club and worked in a bakery. I loved that he was sweet and paid any amount owed in fives. I loved his cartoon shirts. I loved that he always smelled like cookies. I loved how his dark brown eyes crinkled when he laughed. He was always a fun client, and easy to love.

So, what about the assholes? I had a man that used to come in to the club that looked, well...like George Costanza. I had a rule that after a client spent a decent amount of money on me that I would give them my phone number. Well. My google number to be safe. If you haven't gathered by my previous post, I don't want kids and I don't have them. This man used to come in and spend a decent amount on dances, but he'd tell me things like, "I can just see you in a cabin, taking care of children. I just know you'll get married again one day." Just imagine giving a lapdance topless, Def Leppard playing in the background, and having someone say this to you. He was a relatively "devout" Catholic, and desperately wanted a family and a wife. Unfortunately, he brought this idea up with me in mind. I loved that he was a dedicated man, was very sweet to me, and wore a jacket and hat combination into the club that made him look like Paddington Bear. I also loved how excited he got talking about his time in the military. Focusing on what was loved kept the fantasy going and made the interaction genuine.

Now there is a flip side to this. There are some situations in which strippers can't really ignore certain personality traits and continued love in pursuit of the coveted bag. In the top example, what ended the fantasy was when I was dancing onstage one day and said client came in. He came up to my stage and tipped a dollar, then started in with his usual attempt at getting me onboard with the idea of having children. I had been pretty good at letting this slide, until I told him I am absolutely not having children and his reply was, "THE UNITED STATES' WHITE POPULATION IS DWINDLING, AND IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO HAVE MORE WHITE BABIES." Racism? Yeah, shut that shit down immediately. I don't feel obligated nor should anyone else feel obligated to continue a fantasy that involves that type of mindset.

So the long ending to the long answer is this: no, we don't love you in a romantic way. The club is not nor has it ever been a dating pool, and you'd be hard pressed to find a dancer who is looking to date a client. At the end of the day, the club is a place where both participants act on fantasy, and rarely if ever does that fantasy leave the club.