Do Fetishes Spice up the Relationship or Ruin It?

How good it would be if we could read the men and their behavior in bed right from the first date. That way we wouldn't be surprised when he plays not only a love game but a porn movie.

We women, together with men, have fantasies, burning desires … But how do we know when we are dealing with a fetus, not just a simple intimate preference? And if you find out that your boyfriend has a fetish, what do you do, especially if you don't share it with him?

Many people confuse the meaning of the word "fetish" with that of the phrase "intimate preference." If your boyfriend wants you in black underwear or you like to be dominated, it does not mean that you have fetishes.

However, preferences can be used as an excuse by those who have a fetish, so it is advisable to differentiate between the two, especially if you want to know your boyfriend, but also you better!

Depersonalized sex vs. spicy love

Fetishism is a fixation on an object or part of the body, without which you cannot obtain intimate satisfaction.

Bed documents of those with fetishes focus on that object/part of the body, regardless of the person with whom it happens!

In addition, in the absence of that object, the climax cannot be reached, no matter what the partner does. So love is depersonalized, objectified.

In the case of intimate preferences, the game is subjectivized: it matters first the partner and what he does … or what you do with him!

In conclusion, it is easy to know if your intimate life is run by fetishes or is simply "well seasoned".

If there is no spontaneity between the two of you, but you have a clear recipe, let's say: you on heels and he with handcuffs, you may have fetishes. How do you know for sure if you have? Give up whose heels and handcuffs and see what happens:

Do you improvise with whipped cream and strawberries or do you think that without heels and handcuffs you will never reach absolute pleasure?

In the first case, heels and handcuffs were intimate preferences, in the second case, they are fetishes!

Do not breathe a sigh of relief, if while you improvise with whipped cream and strawberries, you dream of him with handcuffs, and he imagines you on whose heels, the girl's name is also called.

Fetishes and objects of pleasure

Here are the most common types of fetishes that are manifested compared to:

• Certain materials: silk, latex, rubber;
• Clothing: underwear, shoes, uniforms;
• Body parts: fingers, breasts, neck, hair, manicure;
• Objects to use during love parties: handcuffs, rope, chains, targets, whips, cigarettes;

The objects of fetish pleasure can come with some intimate practices. The relationship "to dominate - to be dominated" weighs heavily here.

For those with a preference for handcuffs, chains, latex, or, on the other hand, braided tails, a school uniform can hide the desire to dominate and to be dominated, respectively.

It depends on who uses the objects and how.

Fetishism - an intimate addiction!

Fetishism is an intimate addiction (many call it the most personal and complex addiction). Why?

Because a strong intimate connection has been created between the fetishist and the object, without which the supreme pleasure cannot be attained.

In medical terms, fetishism is a sexual deviation (paraphilia) - a category that includes sadomasochism, exhibitionism, voyeurism, etc.

Fetishism manifests itself in several degrees:

From fantasies with that object to touching it, using it for self - satisfaction or as a prelude, the most intense degree being the actual addiction.

In the last phase, the couple's relationship can fall apart because the unshared addiction leads to emotional and intimate separation from the partner.

Many couples break up because of this, precisely because the fetishist does not want to recognize and treat their condition.

That's why you have to differentiate between an intimate preference, one that pepper your love affair, and a fetish - in which case an addiction, a chronic condition has already developed.

Fetishism: how do you explain it, how do you fix it?

There are several theories about the causes of fetishism: Fetishes develop from childhood, when a certain object impressed, aroused intimate instincts;

Others say that fetishes are related to adolescence and habits of masturbation. What do you do when you find out that you or your boyfriend have a fetish?

Therapist couple issues, Barnaby Barratt concludes:

"It is necessary to seek professional help if your fetuses affect those around you - for example if you break the law or cause harm to yourself and others. Instead, if your practices do not cause any harm, in this case, rejoice! "

If you don't have a fetish, use the fantasies of those with fetishes to spice up your relationship!