Let's Talk About Frigidity 

Sexologists define frigidity as the absence of pleasure and arousal not only during sexual intercourse but also during masturbation. Regardless of how we define frigidity, the conclusion is that a frigid woman also suffers from anorgasmia, while an anorgasmic woman is not automatically frigid.

Frigidity should not be confused with other forms of female sexual dysfunction. For example, anorgasmia consists of the total or partial absence of orgasm, although sexual desire exists even in the long run. Another dysfunction, dyspareunia, consists of pain during sexual intercourse, pain with an organic cause.

Finally, vaginismus is an involuntary contraction of the perineal muscles, due to which penetration is difficult or impossible, often having a psychological cause.

The reality, in some cases, is even sadder. Not only are there women who do not reach orgasm, but there are also women who do not even know that this type of pleasure exists.

Strange as it may seem, these women feel only an instrument for the pleasure of the man next to them, the sexual act being only a conjugal attribution. This is primarily due to education, of any kind, especially sexual, but also due to lack of information.

Primary and secondary frigidity

There are two types of frigidity, namely: primary or native, which has existed since the beginning of a woman's sexual life or among those who have never felt a sexual attraction to a man, and secondary or acquired frigidity, which sets in after the woman either started her sexual life is not very favorable conditions, or she was forced to make love (domestic rape), or she had a less satisfying sex life.

Primary frigidity is manifested by negative attitudes toward sexuality or intimacy in two, various fears, and sexual inhibition.

Secondary frigidity can be due to stress, fatigue, depression, but can also be caused by pregnancy, abortion, infertility, hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus), or menopause.

Statistics show that, unfortunately, 10% of women suffer from anorgasmia or frigidity. A surprising statistic mentions that approximately 30% of women do not reach orgasm by penetration, but by clitoral stimulation.

Causes of frigidity

The causes of frigidity are both organic (endocrine) and psycho-behavioral.

It has long been thought that frigidity occurs only due to psychological and behavioral problems, but recent studies have also shown numerous organic (endocrine) causes for female sexual dysfunction.

The most common causes are:

• exaggerated, strict education, with prohibitions regarding sexuality;
• shame about sexual intercourse;
• sexual trauma;
• a first painful or psychologically traumatic sexual contact or even more unsatisfactory sexual contact;
• low self-confidence;
• lack of communication in the couple;
• lack of sexual desire;
• stress, fatigue, depression;
• fear of a possible unwanted pregnancy; 
•  vaginal dryness;
• menopause;
• gynecological infections;
• vaginal malformations;
• endocrine or cardiovascular diseases.

Diagnosis and treatment

A medical examination is always necessary to eliminate the organic causes. In the case of secondary frigidity, it is necessary to reduce the level of estrogen or excess progesterone or prolactin. In most cases, however, medical evaluation and laboratory tests show that there is no organic (endocrine) cause.

The two basic treatments are psychotherapy and behavioral therapy.

Psychotherapy lasts for several months or even years, depending on the implications, causes, and severity of this dysfunction, this treatment is indicated especially for frigidity or primary anorgasmia, that is, which has existed since the beginning of sexual life.

Behavioral therapy is short-lived and is indicated in cases of secondary frigidity, that is, that which occurs after a period of less satisfactory sexual intercourse. In many cases, couple therapy is required.

Discover yourself!

A study of women around the world who easily reached orgasm revealed several important aspects, from which emerge true rules of a successful married life.

First of all, women who are happy with their sex life often come from families that have surrounded them with positive attitudes and open discussions about sexuality.

Even if they may not realize it, some parents, through their exaggerated, severe, or, on the contrary, negligent attitude, can create traumas with serious consequences when the child reaches adulthood.

In addition, it has been shown that women aware of their sensuality come from families where the father was open, communicative, and sensitive, not distant, absurd, and incomprehensible.

As a first step, along with treatment from a doctor, women suffering from frigidity should consider the following:

• to completely detach themselves from feelings of guilt following a failure in their sexual life or their married life. You didn't make love alone, but with a man! Couple life means 2, not 1 !;
• to learn to destroy her restraints and inhibitions, when she loves and is loved, because, if she loves her, her partner will help her to overcome this problem;
• to know better his body and implicitly the erogenous zones, erotically sensitive, which can give him pleasure by touching, caressing, kissing;
• to accept their sexuality, not as something shameful but as something based on love, beneficial and healthy.

With a lot of tact and goodwill, along with the active participation of the partner, a cold woman can gradually turn into a sensual, creative, and sexually active.

Treating frigidity is just as important for a woman as it is for her partner, so it is important for both partners to be aware of the problem and to be open in all respects: erotic, sexual, mental, mental, and spiritual.