Can Reading Romance Genre Novels be Affecting My Potential Relationships?

Like many people I would love to consider myself a hopeless romantic and want to find "the one". I am also a book lover and love reading books especially some that fall in the Romance category. Now, I am picky when it comes to the type of Romance books I like to read. I love strong independent female characters that I can see a bit of myself in. I've also been into reading Romantic Erotica or "cliterature" as I've heard others refer to it as that still has the same strong independent female characters that only 'submit' if you will to their person but never lose their Independence.

Does reading all these types of books cause a false sense of what to expect in a relationship? Books are great ways to escape reality but their becomes a point when you feel that you want a certain type of relationship you've only read about and wonder if you will ever find anything similar or if you will always have to rely on the fantasy of reading to get your "prefect relationship". It's a tough questions to answer and with modern dating where you are basically swiping on a person and hopefully you match with them and maybe it can be everything you want and more. The other side you match, go on a date or two that's lack luster and go back to your romance novels for a distraction.

Some people are even embarrassed to let people they are dating to know that they read Romance books or even some form of erotica. Especially when the romance book starts to hit that erotica genre. I'm speaking more than just the '50 Shades of Gray' series. I've had friends whom their partners have dumped them for reading those type of books as they called them disgusting for being into that kind of stuff without giving the person a chance to explain why they like to read the book. It could be as simple as they loved the storyline between the characters or they might have some sexual fantasy and the book might have brought that fantasy to new light. But instead of listening to the other person about their reasoning it puts a damper on the relationship making the other question their literary tastes and if they will ever find someone that won't judge them for reading such things.

Erotica aside their are some people who still get judged for reading Romance no matter how cheesy or well thought out it is. It's the same reason people get made fun of for liking Romance movies. You know the typical Hallmark movies where everything is exactly the same but the characters are slightly different. I'd like to think it's because as a society we have started to put love on the back burner and anything to actually do with it that brings it to light we are supposed to shy away or make fun of it. Where men are told that they need to hide their emotions as it isn't seen as manly to cry and women are told we are too emotional because we do show our emotions.

I want to be romanced like the books and movies show. But unfortunately I'm stuck on dating apps as you don't always meet people like they do in movies and books. So I'm stuck fantasizing about my perfectly imperfect someone to sweep me off my feet. But real men don't compare to fictional men in those books so I'm stuck fantasizing about the qualities I want in my special someone. While it isn't wrong to know what you like but it also makes dating in this day and age harder as I find myself wondering if this person I swipe on will meet some of the expectations I have or will I be stuck on dating apps forever. It doesn't make me picky to know what I'm looking for but in dating apps people are only given so many characters to try to sell themselves to others in hopes of deleting the apps for either a short or long time. Not many people meet without these apps anymore and it still becomes a what can you know about someone in a short amount of time?

While it's easy to blame books for you're expectations when it comes to dating it also isn't their fault. Those books are meant for people to enjoy them and if you happen to fall in love with a fictional character then so be it. If someone wants to leave me or try to embarrass me for my choices in what I read then they are not for me and my ever growing book collection will still keep me warm and hopeful of finding someone who will.