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Because Life is Short, Give Kindness to Yourself: A Brief Overview of Solo Pleasure

It's precisely what it feels like: lone sex.

By The Secret of 60'sPublished about a year ago 9 min read
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Solo sex is exactly what it sounds like. Solitary sex, like paired sex, is about much more than where and how to touch. It's about learning to merge your ideas with your body - all in the purpose of pleasure.

securing the best deal in the world. Your enjoyment is yours, and we appreciate any manner of achieving it. But we also believe that a scheduled solo sex session isn't a bad way to spend an evening — or an afternoon — or a morning.

For women who have been taught that sexuality is more about performing than feeling, self-pleasure can be exceptionally rewarding. You don't have to prove anything to anyone while you're alone.

So take this as a guide for going into your wants and developing a place to care for your body and your sexuality.

Engage your senses!

Raise your hand if you've ever planned a grocery list while having sex or masturbating. If you do not wish to participate, please raise your hand. The mind is tough, and you have to coax it into submission at times.

One approach is to create a diverse sensory experience. This is how it's done:

Begin by powering off your phone. We ensure that push notifications will not help you connect with your sexuality.

Turn down the lights. Although it may sound cliche, bright lights stimulate your brain, making it difficult to sleep.

  1. Tap into the soothing benefits of aromatherapy by lighting some candles or starting a diffuser.
  2. Put on some seductive music. Our brains are specifically constructed to comprehend rhythm, and music may affect our mood.

Breathe deeply right now.

Breath work is an extremely efficient way to tap into your delight, enter a serene state of mind, and become aware of your body's feelings. Try this simple mindful breathing practise to centre yourself and fully experience all sexual pleasures:

As you get into a comfortable position on your bed, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Take note of how you're sitting and the space around you.

Bring your concentration to your breath. The following is a list of the best restaurants in the area.

Pay much attention to your chest and observe how it moves as you inhale and exhale. , I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. Where do they reside in your body?

Return your focus to your stomach and repeat these steps.

Take your time while initiating contact.

If you're used to rushing to the most sensitive areas, consider moving gently. Tease yourself (after all, you don't have somewhere to be) by touching everything but the sensitive areas. Make your body crave it.

While direct clitoral stimulation was the most gratifying (those 8,800 nerve endings don't lie), participants also loved stroking around the clit and clitoral hood, on the sides, above and below, and caressing the labia, according to a 2016 study.

In individuals with penises, the head, like the clitoris, has the highest concentration of nerve endings, while applying pressure to the base of the shaft and massaging the balls can also be stimulating.

For all sorts of solitary sex, lubrication is important! Using a lubricant not only alleviates pain and discomfort, but one research discovered that those with vaginas had much better levels of sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.

Get into a rhythm

More than 80% of participants in the same pleasure survey reported they favoured a repeating rhythmic motion. Try grinding it out to a tune that makes you move. (Don't worry, no one is looking!)

Also, don't be hesitant to try out unique styles. Using a number of approaches will help you enhance your orgasmic potential in a wide range of ways. If you have sixty bucks to spend, we propose visiting the female pleasure site OMGyes. They contain a lot of interviews and material about masturbation for persons who have vulvas.

Invite additional erogenous zones to the celebration.

If you only remember one thing from this, let it be to find delight in discovery. You're probably aware with those easily accessible pleasure zones, so why not embark on a quest to discover less travelled realms? Your body is packed of nerve endings just waiting to be discovered. The idea is to investigate without preconceived notions.

The nipples, neck, thighs, earlobes, hips, lips, shoulders, and chest are all common erogenous zones, but don't stop there. When your mind is in the sexual zone, the only limit to what feels wonderful is your imagination.

Alter your position.

Sexual postures aren't only for couples!

  • Lie down on your back. For good reason, this is a classic: increased access to your genitals and nipples. Elle Chase, a sex educator, recommends putting up some cushions under your buttocks to enhance access for overweight people.
  • The answer is yes. Touching yourself in a "doggy" posture or grinding on a pillow is a simple approach to produce friction that may feel amazing for folks with all types of genitals. This can help bring a fantasy to life by simulating the sensation of grinding on a lover.
  • Squat or sit. Sitting on the edge of a chair or bed a can seem more spontaneous and sexy than cozying up under covers.

Invest in your sex toy game

Sex toys are fantastic toys; they're literally made for pleasure. There is no shame in the sex toy game, and there are no "better" or "worse" methods to enjoy solitary sex. What works best for you is the greatest approach to go!

There are so many great toys you may use during masturbation, so here are a few to consider adding to your collection.

Vibrators

If this post were a gratitude notebook, vibrators would be the first entry. (In addition, this study discovered a correlation between frequent vibrator use and general well health.)

Dildos

Buying a dildo is the ultimate choose-your-own-dick experience. There are several length, girth, and stiffness variations available. Here are some pointers to help you make the best decision. Choose a stiffness and material. The stiffness you pick will influence the girth you choose. In a nutshell, if you want to buy a house, you'll need to buy a house, too. If you choose with a glass or stainless steel version, you'll likely want to trim down on girth.

Choose a material that is safe for your body. Silicone, stainless steel, and glass are you best bets. Other materials, such Jelly, PVC, or "silicone blends," might include harmful elements like phthalates that can create to responses like headaches, cramps, or nausea.

Plugs for the buttocks Plug(Butt Plugs)

Butt plugs are a terrific starter anal toy that may offer a sense of fullness, stimulate the various nerve endings in the anus, or massage the prostate.

Make sure your butt plug has a flared base, because the anus, unlike the vagina, lacks a barrier to keep your sex object from climbing up your insides.

Assume someone is monitoring you.

Having someone participating in your masturbation — or giving the impression that someone is watching — is one way to tap into thoughts of attractiveness, and feeling sexy may be a huge arousal increase. Here are several strategies to make it happen.

Sext

Sexting is simply like writing erotica tailor-made to what you want! Telling your spouse about your sexual needs and dreams might seem awkward, which can make sexting even more enticing. And unlike talking nasty in person, you have adequate time to think of what you want to say. Sending photographs or videos may also be used to eroticize oneself, enter a sexy mindset, and view yourself through your partner's eyes.

Watch yourself in the mirror

This is essentially the same theory as mirror dancing. The answer is yes. Maintain direct eye contact with yourself. Your body is a paradise, and admiring it in all its splendour may be more pleasurable than you anticipated. And PSA for the vagina-having persons in our midst: If you haven't tried holding a mirror up to your vulva yet, we highly suggest it. Because, let's face it, you don't have a great view from up there.

To get off, listen and watch.

While it's fun to utilise your imagination, it might be difficult to concentrate on something in your head. Erotica is the answer.

Pornographic video

You certainly know about major sites PornHub and YouPorn, but we advise you to investigate more ethical porn choices, namely porn you pay for. While we all enjoy free stuff, the fact is any porn that you don't have to pay for either isn't paying their performers fairly or includes video that is stolen from another site. Sex labour is work, so pay for the enjoyment you like! Some wonderful possibilities to accomplish this include clip sites like ManyVids or OnlyFans, or porn firms like Pink Label TV, Four Chambers, or Cinesinclaire.

Achieve a high

Cannabis has been demonstrated in studies to relieve tension and anxiety, which some people find useful for getting into a sexy mindset and avoiding distractions. Cannabis can also heighten sensation for many people (similar to how food tastes WAY better when you're high).

CBD has also been shown to relieve discomfort, which can be beneficial for patients suffering from chronic diseases such as endometriosis or Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). If you want to experiment with these, there are plenty of THC and CBD sexual health products on the market!

It is also crucial to know that cannabis might cause anxiety in certain people, so proceed with caution.

Make your mental health a priority.

Mental and sexual wellness are inextricably linked. How you feel up there influences how you feel down there. When we talk about creating a good sexual identity, we're also talking about breaking down mental boundaries.

Meditation and mindfulness

That's why we wanted to conclude our article about solitary sex with some tips on making lifestyle changes that promote healthy mental health. There is considerable evidence that mindfulness can improve your sexual experience, both with partners and alone, according to research. There's even an entire book! Exercise your body with yoga, stretching, and dance.

These kind of exercises promote physical awareness and general body comfort. Genres like hip hop, Latin dance styles, or pole dancing may help build confidence – which can undoubtedly transfer to the bedroom.

Consult a professional.

There's nothing wrong about seeking help with your sexuality. There are several great sexuality specialists (sex therapists, coaches, counsellors, and so on) that can assist you in overcoming any obstacles or issues. We want to highlight that for those who've suffered sexual trauma, or those whose identities don't line up with popular concepts of sexuality, discussing and thinking about sex may be problematic and confusing.

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About the Creator

The Secret of 60's

I am an ordinary writer who write about emotional writing as well as sharing though related to relationship matter and advice the younger generation to have a better understanding when handling emotion toward relationship.

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