Autumn Sparks

Tired, a bit low and feeling just blurggh! Going to bed with a cuppa was definitely the best plan of the day.

My phone gently hummed on the bedside table, a message popped up.

"Hiya, you ok? Are you coming out?" It was from a friend, an older flirty friend who had been watching out for me since my horrendous break up with Saul.

"Hi Dave, I'm ok thanks. Tired and grumpy, in bet with a cuppa".

"How do you spell cuppa? DAVE?" pinged back with a smiley face

I paused, smiled and probably blushed a little. I felt the warmest little fizz run through me as I re read his reply.

How do I answer? I felt as about undesirable as I ever had but his little flirty message had brightened my evening.

The phone hummed again.

"Come out Lau, haven't seen you in ages x"

I climbed out of bed and peered in the mirror, my hair looked lifeless and my face drawn and tired. Could I face getting ready to go out on the back of a text message? Was I ready to go out? What if Saul was out? That was one son of a bitch I couldn't face seeing.

At 42, my life had been tipped over. Following my mum's mental breakdown, I had moved with Saul and my kids up to my old family home in the middle of nowhere. My mum and step dad moved into the holiday let at the end of the drive. We were still adjusting to being on top of each other and over familiarity when I started to unpick the lies. Lies about money, painkillers and drink. Lies I didn't need, lies I refused to live with after already leaving an abusive relationship in the past. I threw him out.

So, 42, living in the sticks with my three children, living and working from a rambling old farmhouse with a trail of upset behind me, finding the most innocent of texts intriguing.

Another buzz.

"Let me pick you up x"

I stared at the message, what was stopping me? No kids, they were at their dad's. I could be ready in 20 mins, he was only a friend, a good friend.

"ok, I will need half hour x"

Why oh why did I put a "x"? Too late now.

Jumping in the shower in a panic, thoughts of hair, make up and what to wear filling my head and distracting me from other nerve wracking questions.

I pulled a pair of jeans over my curvy hips and short legs, hoping they would look better with a nice pair of boots. Frantically drying my hair hoping that my skin wouldn't blotch from the heat. My 30 mins were nearly up!

Makeup and hair done, nerves rattled, I was ready, I grabbed my bag just as a set of car lights pulled up on the drive.

After spending years walking from one drama into another, I tentatively opened the car door.

"Hi" with all the confidence I could muster.

"Hey Lau, why are you looking so nervous" He flashed a huge smile, showing his dimple for the first time that I noticed.

"I'm not, well I am ...I don't know" I admitted shyly.

"Well don't be. Let's go somewhere quiet, away from wagging tongues."

We drove for what seemed like forever, Dave chatting easily and giving me time for my quiet replies. We pulled up at a gastro pub, a sure thing that our friends and more importantly that Saul wouldn't be there. Putting his hand on my knee, he leaned in and smiled, kissing the top of my head "Lau, stop worrying,"

I could feel his breath, I knew he had a twinkle in his eye even when I wasn't looking for it. My knees turned to jelly. He lifted my chin with his thumb and looked at me. "Lau kiss me".

"Whhat?" I muttered, shocked at this forward turn!

"You heard, I want you, have always wanted you, but it has to be at your speed and on your terms" he whispered.

I shattered, the attention, his confidence, and his smile. Oh my god that smile! I parted my lips and leaned in, I wanted this so much.

"You sure?" he whispered huskily, I replied by pulling myself closer and giving myself to him.

We kissed gently, soft and slowly, my unruly tongue pushed it's way looking for his, he unravelled. From wanting it to be on my terms, something inside overtook him. I could feel it notch up, he pulled away, kissing my neck, pulling my body against him. It felt hot and hard and I never wanted it to stop. Hands running through the tips of my hair and down my back.

"Fuck" he groaned. I pulled away and looked up at him, hesitant that I had done something wrong.

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Lau, I wanted you to choose, to take things slowly. I wanted to make you come out and not mope at home. I wanted to put this on the table as an option, not pounce on you in the car".

"Dave, you worry too much. Let's go for a drink" I smiled with my newly found confidence, not daring to question where the hell it had come from.

The pub was crowded, but not with people either of us knew. After ordering at the bar we found a table a little way from the couples and families eating.

Chatting was easier, the kiss somehow breaking the ice. Time passed quickly, my drinks went down smoothly and I became acutely aware that I had started to relax and glow.

Last orders were called at a shock to us both, where had that time gone? As we made our way to the door, Dave placed his hand in the small of my back, guiding me gently, I leaned back in to the cup of his hand. It felt perfect.

Back in the car and we were quiet, but a comfortable silence, it didn't need filling with chatter. Looking across at Dave, he caught my eye, his gaze was already there.

Running his hand down my hair, he shifted softly forward for a kiss. It was gentle, less intense, but electrifying.

"Home?" It was more of a question than a statement. "Or between my sheets?"

I gasped, part shock part excitement, after a kiss? Should I? My body was betraying my mind, I wanted to, with every tingling part of me.

"Yes" I whispered, brushing his mouth with another kiss.

It felt like hours passed in the short distance to his home, the comfortable silence now had an edge. The car stopped, he whispered "are you sure?"

"Yes" I could barely answer.

Walking in slowly, he pushed the door closed behind me, resting his arm above my head. Our breathing was heavy and I felt like a coiled spring. His hand slid down, finding the curve of my hip, pulling me close.

"Lau" whatever else he was going to say was lost in a steamy, heavy kiss, it felt frantic, exploring, his tongue probing my mouth, I could feel the urgency behind it.

Everything went electric, I pressed my body against his hard frame, my nipples were like bullets and he reacted. Hands everywhere, lifting and exploring under my clothes, pulling me towards his bedroom.

Pushing me down on the bed, he straddled me. Gazing at me with an intensity, he slowed things down. Running his fingertips down my sides, pausing at my hips, then moving across to my breasts. Rubbing my nipples under my now tight bra, I moaned softly, my body begging for more.

I cant remember at what point I lost my clothes, but it was quick, I didn't have time to feel self conscious or nervous, in fact I felt desired, wanted, and desperate for more.

Dave's hands were relentless, teasing and probing, exploring every part of me as I gently scraped my nails up and down his now naked back.

He shifted slightly, and took a full breast in his mouth, sucking hard until he found the nipple to roll between his teeth and tongue.

Spending time to make sure I came in waves, over and over, I felt pleasure like never before. When I shuddered with joy for what I thought, would surely be the last time, he slowly undid his belt and slid his jeans down his tight ass.

Releasing his arousal with a glistening bead, I held my breath as he held me softly and eased his way inside, gently, softly then a little harder. The intensity increased and my hands were forced and held above my head as he drove in to me with a new force. I screamed and begged for him harder and deeper as he fucked be like I had never been taken before. My body bucked and writhed as he whispered into my ear, we shattered together, I could feel every muscle as he came deep inside me hot with perfect timing.

As we caught our breath I breathed in his scent, resting in the nook of his shoulder and neck.

"What is this?" I asked feeling pretty stupid for spoiling the moment.

"This?" he said, "this is us waiting too long. This is us not caring what people think. This is us using our experience to make our future great, this is our Autumn."

I smiled, took a deep breath and nibbled at his neck, his hands gently finding my hips, I felt as relaxed as I ever had, as fulfilled as I possibly could, perhaps he was right?