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Ask an Escort: FOSTA Edition

by Ossiana M. Tepfenhart 4 years ago in interview
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Ossiana Tepfenhart asks a male sex worker what he feels about FOSTA, the new law that bans sex work advertisements on websites.

In the sex work world, there have been many laws that have hurt sex workers. They are, whether people want to realize it or not, a very discriminated-against group of people who literally just want to work with their careers without fearing for their lives.

In recent months, a bill called FOSTA was passed by both Republican and Democrat lawmakers. FOSTA bans the use of websites to advertise and promote sex work. Those who choose to advertise (both the sex workers and the sites themselves) face charges and fines of up to $10,000.

The bill was done to curb human trafficking, but the truth is, it's just killing sex workers. I asked a male escort, known only as Al*, what he had to say. Here's what he had to say.

Note: Our interviewee has requested to remain anonymous, due to the nature of FOSTA.

Also, let's get a little background about you.

I actually was a straight-A student. I have an MBA in Management. I love Game of Thrones. I love listening to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. I’m originally from Alabama, and hmmm, it’s more, I’ll just have to tell you next time!

To start off with, how long have you been a sex worker?

I've been in the sex industry for a while now. I would have to say off and on since 2006. I was initially in the swinger world when it all started. People were so dazzled by the size of my dick. Husbands would pay me to fuck their wives. I mean, very well compensated. I guess the rest is history

Do you feel a calling towards sex work? What made you choose to get into this field?

Like I mentioned before I was actually doing it and not even know I was a sex worker. It actually came naturally. I felt I was so good at sex that I needed to charge for it. I figured, hell, most men don’t have what I have, so there’s definitely a market for it. To be honest, I would say I was physically designed to be a sex worker.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about sex work.

The biggest misconception is that we aren’t people like everyone else. We have families, we have careers, we have lives, just like everyone else.

Another is that sex workers practice unsafe sex. Wrong! I have not entertained one client that I didn’t use protection with and that even goes back to the swinger lifestyle.

Another is that we just like to have sex. People don’t understand it’s a business and sometimes you don’t have sex with every client you meet. Some just want non-sexual companionship. People in this world are lonely and they sometimes pay just to have someone laugh and talk with them.

FOSTA was recently passed. This is a bill that banned websites from advertising sex work and allows legal pursuit of both sex workers and the sites they use. How will this affect the way you advertise your services?

Yes well, see, I never really used advertising on websites. I always use the referral program, or what some would call word of mouth.

For example, I’ll ask a client to refer me to a potential client and if she does then 10 percent off the next session when we meet. I think more workers should consider utilizing their networking skills.

Advertising is good but I think it’s best to build a homegrown base for safety and constant meetings. So to answer your question, it didn’t affect me any, to be honest. I have other ways, but I can’t say.

Tell me the current reaction of sex workers to FOSTA, as you've seen it?

Well the friends I have in the sex industry became spooked and most of their clients are spooked. They are noticing a slow down in their meetings. Some are taking it pretty hard.

Backpage and Craigslist both took down their "Casual Encounters" sections. How did this affect the way you make money?

To be honest you can solicit the same way on dating sites, swinger sites, and sex sites. You don’t have to just use the ones Iike Backpage and etc. All they have to do is think outside the box.

What do you wish lawmakers understood about sex workers?

These same lawmakers are the ones who keep sex workers in business. They have the means to afford the most expensive sex workers and they do. To be honest I think it was just a jab by our president at the adult industry as a whole because of the Stormy Daniels situation. I mean, it’s odd that this was enacted shortly after that scandal surfaced!

Do you feel that there is serious discrimination going on towards sex workers?

I mean, yes and no. Like I said, it’s a personal jab at the adult industry as a whole by our president. I don’t see them prosecuting any of those sex workers or their clients because some of the same lawmakers were or are clients to this day. Discrimination is always a part of it, I suppose.

Tell me something that most people wouldn't guess about life as a male escort and adult performer.

Well people think it’s fun, but it’s definitely not. It’s awesome when you have this beautiful lady paying you, but it sucks when you have that lady that you know you don’t want to lay one finger on.

Also, people think when you do porn that it’s easy. Do you know that a 30-minute scene can require many hours of footage, just for editors to narrow it down to that 30-minute scene?

Oh, and another thing is that the sex and adult industry desensitizes your sex drive. Think about it like this. If you washed cars for a living, you would probably not be washing your own car when it’s dirty. So if you fuck for a living, then you probably won’t be too inclined to come home and fuck your wife because your job desensitized you to that action.

How do you think that we can humanize sex workers to lawmakers and help make sex work a less stigmatized form of commerce?

I promise you that these people probably buy it more than most common people. They know all too well that they are humans. Like I said earlier, it was just a jab, altogether.

I am happy they are cutting down on human trafficking. Thank God for that, but you can’t put everyone in the sex industry in the same pot as them. I know it’s a long way to go, but we will get to the point where escorting or whatever you want to call it is legal as being a police officer or a chef.


About the author

Ossiana M. Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of NJ. You can message her via Twitter on @bluntandwitty or via Instagram on @ossiana.makes.content. She's always looking for freelance work and collabs!

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