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Pretty miss trouble

Telltale crimson trail: part 7

By Raymond G. TaylorPublished 2 months ago Updated 2 months ago 1 min read

“You forget where the vacuum is kept?”

It was the first thing she said, glancing down pointedly at the little heap of cigarette litter. I stooped to pick up the pieces.

Read Crimson Trail from the beginning

“So… how was the coffee?” Standing back up, I tried to frame a smart comeback, but settled for just looking bemused. I’m no actor.

“Long wait, was it?” This was torture. “Or maybe you went for groceries?”

It was like being quizzed by a wife suspicious of another woman. I tried to play the faithful husband, hurt by the insinuation. Did I say I was no actor?

“What is this, Stevie?”

“What is what, John?” Her voice was neutral. Clinical. “I’m just curious what was so important, it took you away from your crime scene, earlier.”

I didn’t like the emphasis she placed on “your.” Maybe I’d just imagined it.

“Stevie, I stopped for a coffee is all. Why the fuss?”

“No reason, John. Just wondering… By the way, Captain wants to see you.”

This made me jump. I bit off the “What about?” I nearly said. I must have looked guilty as hell. I could feel her eyes bore deep into my being, as she fixed me with a cold glare.

“You better go. You know what he’s like.” She made no move to leave. This time it was me that left her inside the house.

“I’ll help myself to coffee,” she said as I stepped out through the doorway. “You need to get a better door lock.”

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Read episode eight: Comeuppance

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Congratulations to Kageno Hoshino for predicting the interview with the squad captain in: Loose Threads - check it out now!

$5 prize tip has been delivered to Kageno

Well done and a great take on the story so far.

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Think you know where the story is going? Or where it should or could go? I'm offering a princely $50 total prize fund in a bid to keep the story going in a fun new collaborative story-writing challenge.

Check this out for details of how to enter and how to win

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About the Creator

Raymond G. Taylor

Author based in Kent, England. A writer of fictional short stories in a wide range of genres, he has been a non-fiction writer since the 1980s. Non-fiction subjects include art, history, technology, business, law, and the human condition.

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Comments (9)

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  • Randy Wayne Jellison-Knock2 months ago

    Partners. Closer than spouses & slightly more suspicious.

  • D. A. Ratliff2 months ago

    This is such a wonderful and fun challenge!! The installments have all been so good!

  • Mackenzie Davis2 months ago

    I'm getting the feeling that John is covering for his brother somehow. Just because his wife died doesn't mean is brother did too; what if he's in jail or on the lam because of drug-related reasons, specifically cocaine, and John did what he did to help him or his partners out? I don't think John has done this sort of thing before, judging by how reckless he's being. What would motivate him other than his family? Maybe a cop killed his wife or something... Love this series!

  • Kageno Hoshino2 months ago

    My prediction for part 8 :

  • Kageno Hoshino2 months ago

    Loving the drama that might happen

  • Mark Graham2 months ago

    There is a relationship between these two characters. Tension building.

  • John Cox2 months ago

    Still loving how you keep building the tension a dram at a time. I’m starting to get the creepy crawling feeling that Ray Bradbury’s best stories produce. Great storytelling, Ray!

  • Daphsam2 months ago

    Great fun to read!

  • Oh boy, now the Captain wants to see him? Things certainly aren't looking good for John! Eager to know what happens next!

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