Love and Pain

This is part one of the story of Robert and Maryanne. Part two is linked here.

Part three is linked here.

The three couples dated through the first two years of high school and spent a lot of time together.

They would go to movies, attend school dances, or hang out at the mall or each other's houses. They all became good friends, including Robert and Maryanne. She was growing into the woman she would become, and Robert thought she was becoming more beautiful every time he saw her.

He was happy and loved being with Wanda, as she always made him laugh and treated him like he was the most important person in her world, but he felt protective of Maryanne, almost like if she was a little sister.

Keith and Maryanne seemed extremely happy together and found time to be alone, even when they were in a group. They would often be off to the side somewhere, holding hands and looking in each other's eyes as they talked. Robert could see that Maryanne was in love with Keith, but for some reason, this upset him.

Keith was spending a lot of time at Tommy's house, visiting Maryanne, so they became good friends and would hang out together when not with the girls. Keith and Tommy were the same age, and they were the first ones in the group to try drinking. It was the second year of high school, and they were both sixteen, when they stole some vodka from Tommy's house and went to their hideout in the forest and drank it.

Robert and the rest of the group tried drinking for the first time that summer after the school year. Tommy's parents were spending the weekend at their neighbour's cabin and told him and Maryanne that they could have their friends over but no loud partying or sleep-over's. Tommy said ok and told his parents not to worry, but phoned and invited the group to spend the night on that Saturday.

When Robert with Wanda and Keith arrived for the sleep-over, Maryanne was there with Iris and said that Tommy had gone to pick up snacks and would be back soon. Tommy got back to the house about ten minutes after they arrived. He was dropped off by one of the older guys from the neighbourhood and handed him some money when he got out of the car. Keith went outside to meet him, and when they came back in with a case of beer and a bottle of vodka, everybody was surprised.

Robert could tell that Maryanne, Wanda, and Iris were not happy with what was happening. They didn't say anything, but Maryanne was looking at her brother with anger and fear.

When the guys finished making the orange juice, Keith mixed a small drink for each of them as Tommy was opening a beer. Keith handed the glasses out, and Tommy said, "Too good friends and one night of freedom," before downing his Vodka in one mouthful and following it with a long drink of beer.

For the next two hours, Tommy drank more and more, while the others were taking their time and drinking slowly.

Iris becoming angry with Tommy’s behavior finally had enough and told them that she didn't want to be around him like this and left to walk home. Maryanne became angry with Tommy when Iris left and told him to stop drinking, but ignoring her he went to mix himself another drink. While Tommy was gone, Wanda apologized to Maryanne and said that she felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, and Keith agreed with his cousin and told Maryanne that it would be better if they left.

Robert, feeling concerned for Maryanne, could see the relief in her eyes when he said, "I’ll stay here; I’ve known Tommy his whole life; he’ll listen to me."

Keith hugged Maryanne and told her he was sorry, as Robert kissed Wanda and told her that he would see her tomorrow.

Over the next hour Tommy downed several more drinks before throwing up on the carpet and staggering to the bathroom swearing. Robert concerned for his friend, followed him to the bathroom to make sure he was okay as Maryanne, in tears, stayed in the living room trying to clean up the carpet. When he stopped throwing up, Tommy could hardly stand, so Robert helped him get his shirt off and cleaned up a little before helping him to his bed, where he fell asleep in minutes.

When Robert returned to the living room, Maryanne was kneeling on the floor with a bucket and some rags, cleaning up the vomit and crying. He knelt beside her and started helping, without speaking, and when she looked at him heartbroken and said, "Thank you, Robert, you're always there when I need help, you’re such a good person," Robert felt anger growing for Tommy.

His heart couldn't handle seeing her like this so he reached out, wiped away her tears and pulled her close to him. She leaned her head on his chest and sobbed, “I’m just so worried about him. He drinks like this almost every weekend. I love him but he makes me so angry and I don’t know what to do.”

Robert feeling her frustration and concern, promised, “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he’ll listen to me when he’s sober. He’s my best friend Maryanne and I’ll try my best to make him see the fear he’s causing in you. I know he loves you and cares about your feelings. He’s told me that more than once.”

She raised her head and looked into his eyes, saying, “You’re such a good friend Robert. Tommy is lucky to have you and so am I,” before laying her head back on his chest and wrapping her arms around him.

Robert could feel his heart and mind swell with emotion as he held her while she cried. He wanted to help and protect her in any way he could. Feeling the warmth of her body against his, as she wept, somehow felt right to Robert. It was different from what he felt for Wanda, and he thought, "Is This Love?"

******

After leaving Maryanne's house because of Tommy's drinking, Wanda admonished Keith for his acceptance of this behaviour.

Keith apologized to Wanda and told her that he’d spoken to Tommy several times in the kitchen, but he wouldn't listen. Wanda said she felt sorry for Maryanne, but Keith said, "Don't worry, she knows about his drinking and how to handle him; plus, she has Robert there to help her."

On the rest of the trip home, Wanda thought about Robert staying with Maryanne and all the times she’d seen him watching her and smiling. She’d confronted Robert about it, but he’d kissed her and said, "It's nothing, I'm just happy that's she's happy. She's like a little sister to me." The other kids always bullied her, so I feel protective of her. I'm just happy she’s with Keith." Wanda accepted his explanation and told him she was sorry as Robert hugged her, but in her heart, she knew when he looked at Maryanne; it wasn't a sister he was seeing.

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Robert awoke to a feeling of pressure on his chest, and slowly opened his eyes to realize he had fallen asleep sitting on the couch with Maryanne in his arms. They were both sitting, but Maryanne had her head on Roberts's chest with her left arm around his waist, sleeping peacefully. Robert's left arm, sitting around her shoulder, was getting numb, so he moved it slowly away. As his arm moved, she started to stir, so Robert stopped and held her closer as he didn't want to wake her. He wanted to stay like this in her arms as long as possible. He held her close as he watched the daylight approaching, feeling wonderful and confused at the same time.

Maryanne started to wake just as dawn was seeping through the windows but didn’t move, as she didn’t want to wake Robert. She felt comfortable and safe in his arms and wanted to stay like this a little longer.

Keith loved her and even though they lived far apart, found ways to be with her as often as possible. When they weren't together, they would spend hours on the phone talking about nothing.

She thought the feelings she had for Keith were love, but what she felt with her head on Robert's chest with his arms around her, was different and stronger somehow. It just felt right, and she didn't want to move. She felt Robert move his arm a little, and thinking he must be uncomfortable she started to get up, but he put his arm back and held her closer. Moving her head a little closer to his chin, trying to make him more comfortable, they both heard a sound from the back of the house at the same time. Maryanne raised her head to look over Robert's shoulder as he turned his head to look behind him towards the sound.

Robert looked for a few seconds, but saw nothing, and turned back to find himself looking into Maryanne's eyes, with their faces inches apart.

Her eyes captured and pulled him in; as her warm breath on his face, caused Goosebumps to rise on his arms. Overwhelmed by the nearness of her beauty, he couldn’t speak as he reached out to gently move her hair away from her eyes.

She couldn't help herself, and as Robert touched her face, she moved closer and kissed him lightly on the lips. Trembling with joy he wrapped her in his arms and pushed his lips to hers, knowing at that moment that he was in love with Maryanne. He knew now that he had always loved her. From the first time he saw her, sitting on her front step reading a book, he had felt drawn to her. That feeling had only grown stronger over the last few years and, may god help him as he couldn’t help himself, he knew now that feeling was love.

They were both feeling shocked and confused at what they were doing, as Maryanne finally pulled away and apologized, "Oh my God, Robert, I'm sorry, what have I done?"

Robert started to tell her that he wasn't sorry when they both heard a sound behind them.

Turning in the direction of the noise they were shocked and surprised to see Tommy standing in the hallway staring at them with disbelief.

Robert started to say something, but Tommy just turned around and walked back to his bedroom.

Maryanne knowing her brother and Keith had become good friends, felt terrified at what had just happened. She wanted to tell her brother that what he’d seen was an accident and that she didn't mean it, but she looked at Robert and knew that wasn't true.

She started to say something to Robert, but he stood and walked away.

Robert's mind was spinning as he stood and walked to the kitchen, feeling torn in his betrayal of a friend and his feelings for Maryanne.

She sat on the couch, unable to move as Robert went to the kitchen, thinking she’d ruined everything for everybody. “Why did I kiss him?” she thought, he was just being nice and trying to help her like he always had.

Lately, she felt he thought of her as a little sister, but the way he looked at her today, Maryanne knew that wasn’t how he felt. She’d felt drawn to Robert for a long time, but never thought he liked her that way. She didn’t know what to do, thinking he must be confused and upset with her, as he walked away without speaking. How could she be so wrong about what she saw in his eyes and felt in her heart?

She worried he was so upset, that he left her to deal with Tommy alone; until Robert came back from the kitchen with two glasses of juice and sat beside her.

He handed her one of the glasses as she said, "I'm really sorry, Robert, I shouldn't have done that."

He stared at her for several seconds without speaking, with what looked like fear in his eyes.

Maryanne feeling concerned, asked, “Are you ok, Robert? I don’t know why I did that; please don’t be upset with me.”

Robert stared at her for a few more seconds, then laid his glass on the coffee table and took her hand as he looked in her eyes and said, "I’m not upset with you. I could never be upset with you Maryanne. You didn't do that; I did. I've wanted to kiss you for a very long time. Last night, holding you while you slept was the best night of my life."

Maryanne feeling stunned by what he said, took a few seconds to reply, “What about Keith and Wanda? We can't hurt them like this." She could see his eyes well up as he said, “I know. I feel the same but I can’t help myself; Watching you with someone else is tearing me up inside and I can’t do this anymore. I can't keep pretending everything is ok."

Maryanne didn't say anything, as her heart was racing from what he was telling her. She looked at her hands, trying to stop the feelings rising in her as Robert paused for a moment.

Robert thought about what Maryanne had said just a few seconds before and said, "Why did you say we?"

Looking confused, she said, "What do you mean?”

“A minute ago you said, we can't hurt them; we meaning us. Which I believe, means you feel the same as I do. Please tell me that I'm right."

She looked in his eyes but couldn't speak; she wanted to tell him the truth, but her mouth wouldn't move, paralyzed with conflicting emotions of fear and love.

Robert took her glass and laid it on the table before taking both of her hands and moving closer. He looked into her eyes as she felt her breathing slow and said, "Maryanne, I love you; I’ve always loved you. I've been too stupid and too shy to tell you, but most of all, I've been afraid of you not liking me and thinking I'm crazy."

She looked at him dumbfounded for a minute, and he said, "Please say something; anything, just tell me the truth."

Maryanne felt courage rising in her as he spoke and did what he asked; with tears in her eyes, she told him the truth, "I love you too, Robert, I always have."

*********

Thirty minutes later, Tommy returned to an empty living room, with anger boiling inside at what he had witnessed. Sick from the previous nights drinking and what he’d seen, he wanted to give his sister and Robert a piece of his mind. Tommy knew Robert liked his sister, and she liked him, but never expected they would ever do this. He couldn't remember a lot about last night and assumed Robert had been drinking too much, and did something stupid. He knew Robert didn't drink, and it wouldn't take much to make him drunk.

Thinking about his good friends Keith and Wanda, and what this would do to them, he walked to the kitchen, looking for Maryanne and Robert. The kitchen was empty, but Tommy could hear voices coming from the side of the house, at the old swing set. He went to the window and could see Robert and Maryanne sitting there, talking in whispers, and holding hands. He couldn't believe what he was seeing and rushed to the side door to confront them.

Approaching the door, the phone in the kitchen started ringing, and he stopped to look at the call display. He said, "Shit," as he looked at the name on the screen. He let it ring a few times, thinking about what to say, then picked it up and said, "Hello Keith." They spoke for a few minutes, each apologizing to the other, about the night before. Keith said he was sorry for leaving, and Tommy apologized for getting drunk and ruining the night for everybody.

Keith asked about Maryanne, "How is your sister; is she awake yet?" Robert and Maryanne walked into the kitchen as Keith said, "I feel so bad for leaving her last night; I hope she’s ok and not pissed at me." Tommy, with the phone to his ear, glared at Robert and Maryanne as he said, "Don't worry, Keith, I think she’s ok, but maybe she should tell you exactly how she feels," and handed the phone to Maryanne.

She looked at her brother with fear as she covered the mouthpiece with her hand and asked him, "What did you say?" Tommy looked at Robert angrily and said, "If you’re talking about you and Robert kissing, I didn't say anything because I don't know what the hell is going on here." Maryanne, overwhelmed with emotion and shaking, took the cordless phone from her brother and walked to her bedroom, leaving Tommy and Robert alone in the kitchen.

When Maryanne left the kitchen, Tommy calmed down a little, and looking at Robert said, "What the hell man, what's going on?" "Were you drunk or something?" Robert looked at him for a long time before answering, "No, I wasn't drunk, and I don't know what happened; it just happened." Tommy could see the pain in Robert's eyes as he spoke, but he could also see something else there. He thought, oh my god, he's in love with my sister.

Tommy asked him outright, “Are you in love with her Robert, what about Keith and Wanda?”

Robert was a mess inside now, as it was all overwhelming him. His love for Maryanne was fighting a battle with his fear of the pain it would cause Keith and Wanda. He knew this was a terrible thing to do to them, but couldn’t help himself as the love he felt for Maryanne rose above everything else. He looked in Tommy's eyes, and with all the courage he could muster said, "Yes, I'm in love with her, I think I have been for a long time and can't help myself." "I don't know what’ll happen, but I know how I feel, and she feels the same." Tommy looking at his good friend, whom he had known his whole life, could see the truth in his eyes as he was speaking and knew this was real; Robert was indeed in love with his sister.

Tommy asked Robert how he was going to tell Wanda, when Maryanne returned to the kitchen in tears and said she had just told Keith what happened. She said that he was upset and heartbroken and told her he couldn't talk now because he was too angry and hung up the phone.

Tommy, not believing what he was hearing and obviously upset, asked, "Why did you tell him now, like that, on the phone?" "At least, you should have waited and told him to his face." Maryanne said, "I had to tell him; I was crying on the phone and couldn't bring myself to lie to him when he asked me what was wrong."

Robert asked, “What did you say to him?” The look of anguish in her eyes as she said, “I told him the truth Robert, the same truth I told you this morning,” broke his heart. He went to her and held her in his arms as she cried, while Tommy sat at the table watching them and feeling sick to his stomach.

Tommy couldn't believe this was happening and felt concerned for his sister, as he watched her cry in Robert's arms. He wasn't always a good brother but loved his sister, and it hurt him to see her in pain. They’d grown closer over the last two years, as the three couples were always together, and had become friends. She was the smart one of the family, and as he wasn't so good at school she would help him whenever he needed it. She was the reason his understanding of English Literature and Algebra had improved so much lately.

He knew she had a warm heart and felt things deeply and it upset him when he thought about the times that he’d called her names, when he should have been defending her like Robert had done.

Tommy stood to get a drink, and as he walked towards the sink, the phone rang again, so he picked it up and answered. Maryanne and Robert watched as Tommy picked up the phone to say hello, and could see his face turn white as he listened to the other person speak. He turned to them as he dropped the phone on the floor and said, "Mom and Dad are missing." They both said, "What?" as Maryanne jumped from the table and grabbed the phone from the floor. She spoke on the phone for a few minutes as Robert and Tommy were listening, trying to digest what they were hearing. Maryanne got off the phone and told them that her parents had gone out in the boat last night to do some fishing, but haven't returned yet. People were searching for them, but they or the boat haven't been found yet.

Maryanne and Tommy panicked, not knowing what to do, so Robert took the phone and called his mother. He told her what had happened, and his mother told him to stay where they are, as she and Betty were coming to pick them up and drive to the cabin.

They sat at the table for a few minutes discussing how they thought everything would be fine. Maybe they were just at someone else’s cabin sleeping and didn’t know people were searching for them.

Robert suggested they all get ready and go outside to wait for his mom and Betty. His mom left as soon as they hung up the phone, so Betty's car pulled in the driveway about fifteen minutes later.

They all piled into the car and were pulling away from the house when Roberts mom told them that the boat had been found, but nobody was in it, so several people were searching the shores of the lake for Tommy and Maryanne's parents.

The drive to the lake took a little over an hour, and by the time they arrived, everybody in the car had become consumed with fear. Betty had a cell phone in the car, so they tried several times to get in touch with someone at the lake, to no avail. When they pulled onto the dirt road that led to the lake, the flashing lights from the emergency vehicles appeared in the distance, increasing the tension in the car.

As they arrived at the lake, they could see firefighters and paramedics lifting someone onto a stretcher and carrying it to a waiting ambulance. Maryanne's neighbour, Bill, walked along beside it with his hand on the person they were helping.

When the car stopped, Maryanne, seeing it was her father, jumped from the rear door and bolted to the ambulance, screaming "Dad" as she ran. Bill stopped her as she got close and said, "Wait, Maryanne, he's ok but hurt bad, let them do their work." She tried to get closer to him, but Bill held her back as she kept calling for her father. She could see that he had a large gash on his head and the paramedics were working on closing it, as they were loading him in the ambulance.

Bill said, "He's unconscious, and they need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible."

Maryanne, shaking uncontrollably, started to fall as Robert got to her and caught her in his arms. Tommy got there at the same time as Robert, screaming at Bill, "Where's mom? Where's Mom?"

Bill answered, “She’s still missing, but at least fifty people are looking for her as we speak. We’ll find her Tommy, but we need to get your father to the hospital as quick as possible.”

Tommy and Maryanne looked to be in shock, holding each other tight, as they watched the paramedics close the ambulance doors and drive away with their father.

The scene was swarming with all kinds of people from, firefighters to paramedics and police and civilians trying to help find her. Robert's mother and Betty took Tommy and Maryanne away from the chaos to sit and talk with a police officer who was trained in dealing with these situations, while Robert joined in the search.

The lake wasn’t large, maybe five miles around the shore, with a small bridge at both ends.

The searchers were organized into two groups and given red signal flags and whistles.

They were to walk slowly along the bank, one group in each direction, and raise the flag and blow the whistle if they saw anything. They were told not to stop when they met each other but keep going all the way around so that the whole area would be covered twice.

The searchers took about four hours to walk around the lake, stopping a couple of times as people had found old clothes and an old abandoned rowboat.

Robert getting tired and hot from the sun as he was getting close to finishing the circle, could see Maryanne standing on the shore with his mother and Betty a few hundred feet ahead.

He stopped to splash some water on his head, and as he was kneeling beside the lake, he could see what looked like a shirt, tangled underneath a bush that was overhanging the water. He tried getting closer but couldn't reach it, so he found a stick close by to retrieve the shirt.

He lay on the ground and pushed at it with the stick, hoping to free it, but it wouldn't move.

He decided to step into the lake and try to get at it from a better angle. He got as close as he could to the bush and reached underneath and pushed hard. He felt it come loose and bent down to reach it just as Maryanne's mother rolled over in the water, her unseeing eyes looking directly at Robert.

He scrambled back out of the water, holding the flag high and blowing the whistle as hard as possible.

Two policemen standing close to Maryanne, could see Robert a few hundred feet away blowing the whistle and waving the flag in a panic, and took off at a sprint towards him. Maryanne seeing this happen followed them, running as fast as she could. The police got their first, with Maryanne coming close behind them, and told Robert to stop her, as they stepped into the water with the body. When Maryanne got to them, the police were on their radio with paramedics who were running in their direction.

Maryanne recognized the clothes and was screaming, trying to get in the water, as Robert held her back while trying to block her view. She started hitting him and screaming, “let me go, let me go," but he wouldn't let her see her mother like this,” Please Maryanne, no, don't look, please."

He pulled her tight to his chest as she screamed and fought against him, until she stopped fighting and collapsed in his arms sobbing. Robert held her like this for several minutes before pulling back and looking at her face. She was sobbing almost to the point of convulsions, looking destroyed as she stared into his eyes. He hugged her tight again, and as she cried in his arms, his heart broke for her.

*******