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In Blume

Microfiction for Adults

By Dean F. HardyPublished 7 months ago Updated 7 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - August 2023
35
In Blume
Photo by zero take on Unsplash

Jesus. Her hands are around my throat again. They're tight and my windpipe is wilting. I don't struggle. I can't seem to take my eyes off hers; cold cobalt in scorched tarmacadam. She's foaming at the mouth and a dehydrated rabid spittle has formed at the corners of her lips and it falls on me sporadically, sticking to my lashes and casting a strange haze to my vision.

Stars and spots are errupting now as my lover murders me to the sound of cherry blossoms at midnight.

I drop my left hip and let her weight tilt over to the edge of the bed. She's too drunk to notice and before the next fleck of spittle has time to leave her wolverine mouth, her back has slammed into the floor and I've landed on top of her.

The wind has been knocked from her and her eyes are floating in her skull like raw egg yolk and I grind my forehead into hers and snarl in her face until she's yelping like a wounded dog in the street.

She brings up tired hands and takes fearful rakes of half chewed nervous claws down my cheeks and neck. But there's no feeling now other than the primal rage of love soaked violence. I want to shatter her face and feel her teeth sink into my knuckles. I want to batter her. Instead I take aim at the shiny pocket of linoleum between her ear and the nook of her shoulder. I bury my fist into it and the roar of hot pain up my wrist is an orgasmic release.

I wind it up again and her face has contorted into a pool of dread and I think she's screaming but all I can hear is the linoleum churning my fist into butter. And I hate that I'm here and I hate that I love her and I hate that we can't stop and I hate that I've become a reality that only exists on the lips of neighboured gossip.

The linoleum mirrors a bloodied reflection of my face, bloated with fear and booze and I take on a new relish and pummel the face of this man I used to respect.

MicrofictionCONTENT WARNING
35

About the Creator

Dean F. Hardy

Writer from Dublin, Ireland.

*All work here is owned by Dean F. Hardy*

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (31)

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  • Donna Fox (HKB)6 months ago

    Wow.... I'm in love with your sensory descriptive language and the way you pull the reader into the story with it! I felt myself taking on these sensations and feelings, that pit in my gut as I lost respect for myself in that moment! This was breath taking (pun not intended) and just such a raw, eye opening piece!

  • Gen-Z Writes.6 months ago

    Keep up the Good Work, Dean ♥️ check this out also: https://vocal.media/interview/shadows-of-the-past-0p1p0pqr

  • Mesh Toraskar6 months ago

    Oh believe me when I say I did not breathe (pun intended) until I finished reading this. "Stars and spots are errupting now as my lover murders me to the sound of cherry blossoms at midnight." Love the sensory imagery here. There are many others to pick out too, such stunning craft, I am in awe Dean! Love how you bring out the inherent humanness in acts of passion (love and violence) and have them stand together, both tall, both stubborn and make them sing in unison! So tough to do but you make it look so effortless.

  • Sarah D7 months ago
  • Gina C.7 months ago

    So gripping! Honestly, this is mesmerizing. There is a certain "primal" or instinctive sensation here that really draws us in. The line quoted by Jenny below is stellar and so full of every ounce of desire, angst, and dread. Fantastic job! Couldn't stop reading 😍

  • Test7 months ago

    “And I hate that I'm here and I hate that I love her and I hate that we can't stop and I hate that I've become a reality that only exists on the lips of neighboured gossip.” Got dang. This is real shit.

  • Jennifer L Osborne7 months ago

    I read it over and over. Very graphic in such a small space of words! Incredibly well done.

  • Scott Christenson7 months ago

    Interesting scene of dread and angst. Is "she" a really bad hangover/addiction/self loathing?

  • Cyrus Davies 7 months ago

    Beautiful flowers

  • Kelly Khoo7 months ago

    Intense, disturbing, raw emotions; a love twisted into violent chaos.

  • Kristen Balyeat7 months ago

    I don’t think I took a single breath through that whole piece. Intense doesn’t do this justice. Written so incredibly well that I was legit afraid. Very well done, Dean!!! You took us all right there into the absence of mind and ugly mess of violence and love.

  • Emma Kate Coleman7 months ago

    I don’t think I’ve subscribed to a creator faster than I just did. 😄 Great work, Dean!! 👏

  • Caroline Jane7 months ago

    Incredible writing... Like you ripped open a wound and let it bleed. Wow.

  • Is it wrong to say that I hate that I find this so compelling? "And I hate that I'm here and I hate that I love her and I hate that we can't stop and I hate that I've become a reality that only exists on the lips of neighboured gossip." With all the passionate, lust-driven horror of this scene, this is what I felt the most deeply.

  • Dana Crandell7 months ago

    "Intense" doesn't seem strong enough. That was a wild, emotional ride and incredibly well written. Is your keyboard still in one piece? Brilliant!

  • Test7 months ago

    Incredible. It leaves a lasting memory :)

  • LC Minniti7 months ago

    Such... colorful descriptions and wordplay. Great job.

  • Babs Iverson7 months ago

    Emotionally complicated! Congratulations on Top Story!!!♥️♥️💕

  • Heather Hubler7 months ago

    Congratulations on Top Story! You already know I loved it. What a masterpiece of emotion, tone and language.

  • Paul Stewart7 months ago

    Not entirely surprised at all that this got Top Story so quickly! Well done!

  • Rob Angeli7 months ago

    Congratulations on top story!

  • Naomi Gold7 months ago

    I’m laughing my head off because people thought some hair pulling in my story was “rough” and “intense” when that wasn’t the case at all. Thanks for exemplifying those words in a delightfully transgressive micro, and congrats on Top Story. 🥂

  • Mackenzie Davis7 months ago

    “The linoleum mirrors a bloodied reflection of my face, bloated with fear and booze and I take on a new relish and pummel the face of this man I used to respect.” I am floored. (No pun intended…? ) Absolutely stunning work, Dean. The heart of this story is truly remarkable; true, it is dark as the words and images themselves, but to convey the humanity in a situation like this, the primal nature of violence and love coming together is something I’ve not seen successfully done (at least not in a very long time). I am reeling from the truth you express here. What a horrific reality to see in a fictional story, knowing that the violent urge can be so quick to snap in place. You crafted this so masterfully. I would even encourage you enter this into the Vocal Awards. 👏👏👏

  • Cathy holmes7 months ago

    Holy moley. That was raw, and scary, and brilliant and I don't even know what to say. Wow. Congrats on the TS

  • Ashley Lima7 months ago

    Holy cow, Dean. This is absolutely breathtaking, in the most surreal, gory, beautiful, yet horrific way. This may be one of the best Vocal shorts I've ever read, and I mean that wholeheartedly. Incredibly well done. Your prose is vivid and engaging. Just, woah

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