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Chasing a ghost through the vast white

Microfiction

By Beth SarahPublished 3 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2024
23
Chasing a ghost through the vast white
Photo by Andreas Gäbler on Unsplash

“Halligan!”

I can see his silhouette some way in the distance. He has been there for a while but he doesn’t seem to move, either toward or away from me.

I intend to shout his name but it comes out in a raspy whisper against the furious wind and is carried sadly off with it.

Everything is bright. Sun glaring off mountain snow; the air so thin that each breath is like trying to gulp down a litre of water when all you have is a thimbleful.

I lost the rest of the team yesterday and now have no notion of how to proceed through this malignant terrain. I can feel splotchy, biting burns on both of my cheeks: ice scorching like flame through my skin; coldness burrowing through every muscle; into the very marrow of every bone. Vaguely, I think I can hear my lungs squeaking with the effort of each inhale, like a sad plea for help from somewhere far in the distance.

“Halligan!”

This time it’s even huskier.

The spectre remains. If only I could reach it.

I consider then with the bitter pang of regret the obstinate, ugly arrogance of what I felt when I stepped off the plane at Kathmandu all those weeks ago, like some godfuckingdamn hero; all-powerful; strong; special. Even in my turmoil, I scoff at the thought now, standing here, wide-eyed in the snow, like a young Arctic hare who has lost his family in the endlessness of the vast white.

Microfiction
23

About the Creator

Beth Sarah

We've been scribbled in the margins of a story that is patently absurd

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (11)

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  • Anna 2 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳

  • L.C. Schäfer3 months ago

    That's a lot of character progression in not very many words! Well done 👏

  • C. H. Richard3 months ago

    The narrators voice resonated with me. I could feel the isolation and the bravado turned into fear. Excellent storytelling!❄️

  • JBaz3 months ago

    Perfect and vivid descriptions that place me in the MC place, feeling the despair . Congratulations

  • Margaret Brennan3 months ago

    congratulations on TS. that said, I could actually feel my lungs hurt and burn as your described what I interpreted as lungs freezing in the icy cold. GREAT story and even better story telling. Amazing.

  • Kendall Defoe 3 months ago

    Impressive... 🏔

  • Rachel Deeming3 months ago

    This is stark scariness.

  • Melissa Ingoldsby3 months ago

    Damn this is good!!! Wow what a vivid and wildly sensory-filled piece

  • Jazzy 3 months ago

    Wow I loved the descriptive words so much!

  • Arrogance in the face of Gaurishankar, reminiscent of the movie, "Everest", & the true story it relates (as far as it is known).

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