Asmodeus Pushed
When You Wake Up On A Runaway Train
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This is an entry in the Vocal “Runaway Train” Challenge and you can read about that here.
His head was banging . Bang, bang, bang and more bang.
He had drunk a lot last night but then he realised the banging was not his head, though he had a terrible head, but the noise was the thrum of a train on rails. He was on a train. He couldn’t remember why he was on a train or how he got on the train.
His knuckles were scraped but the “HATE HATE” tattoos still stood out on his hands.
The girls were asking for it, it was their fault, they shouldn’t have been out, but he had his way with them and then their boyfriends started going mad but he had rearranged their faces, loosening some teeth.
This was a typical night, he got his kicks that way, well others got his kicks and that was followed by work at the factory during the day then getting wrecked and terrifying girls and boys who should really stay at home if they don’t want to be molested, abused or beaten. He got his pleasure and that was all that mattered.
He got up from his seat , which was wet. He had peed in his sleep but he often did that and didn’t care that someone would have to clean up after him. It was their job wasn’t it? He went into the corridor and looked into the next compartment but every compartment had one shadowy occupant.
Opening the door, the form of the occupant didn't change, it was like a solid shadow. He was scared, but he was never scared. He prodded the figure but his finger didn’t stop, it was like it was made of smoke.
“That is you”
He turned, “Who said that?”
“You know where you are”
“I’m on a train, with no ticket, with a hangover, and I need to be in work in a couple of hours”
“Oh you will be in work, very soon, but not where you think”
“What, what are you on about”
“You know who I am?”
“I can’t see you, so how could I know? Anyway, are you an inspector? I haven’t got a ticket, I never buy a ticket, I take what I want an denver pay”
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“My name is Asmodeus, I am here to collect you for my lord Satan, to put you to work in Hell’s Fire Pits. And you have been paying for your ticket all your life and you will keep paying now you are dead. You are a thug, a wife beater, a rapist, a bully, a thief, a racist , a misogynist, you want me to go on?”
“Dead? I'm not dead. I’m on this train and speaking to you”
“Look out the windows, there is nothing there, you can’t see me, you have nothing, you are nothing, and this train will soon be arriving to drop you in the middle of hell’s Fire Pits. You are going to Hell Mate, one way ticket to pay for all the vile things you have done in your life”
“You can’t do that, I can do what I want”
“Well yes you can but you gotta pay”
The train stopped, the door opened, they were in a lava field.
“This is your stop mate”
“I can’t get out here, I’ll burn to death”
Asmodeus continued “Are you thick? You are in Hell because you are dead and a bad person, Anyway you are no longer my problem”
Asmodeus Pushed and one more evil soul joined Hell
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Comments (5)
Awesome take on this challenge! Great work!
Oooo this was so cool. Not what I expected at all
Wow 😱
Very clever Mike. When I pressed play on the song I started head-banging, and then the first thing I read is "his head was banging."
Wow!!! Impressive runaway story!!!💖💕