When You Finally Realize You’ve Been Buying Gluten-free Bread Wrong for Years

It’s one of those life-altering moments but also slightly embarrassing. As in, why did it take me so long, add bare-faced owning up to the fact that I’ve been almost religiously eating non-flavored, egg white containing (as a borderline vegan), cardboardesque sandwiches, and paying extra for the privilege.

My nephew raised an important point when he questioned,

“Why does gluten-free (GF) bread cost so much more than regular bread when it's less an ingredient?”

Hmmm…

The industry sensed a goldmine.

People who CAN’T have gluten will HAVE to pay whatever price we decide because they have no choice.

In a consumer-based economy, these are the things that suck, which is why my dilemma as a writer lies in telling the public about my discovery without sounding product promotion-ey.

I did not think I would ever write a promotional piece.

This is a mighty big global writing platform. My primary focus here is to inform without sounding like a walking billboard for any product.

Tricky.

How am I going to resolve this and tell you about my ‘wonder find?’

I still don’t know, but whatever happens, at the end of this story, I wanna have my integrity intact after telling you about some bread that rocked my world.

As a healthcare professional, I’ve heard quite a few doctors tell their patients post-procedure that they needed to eliminate gluten entirely from their diet.

One of my last post-gastroscopy patients, I will never forget.

As sometimes doctors are wont to do, this one informed the patient of a new immediate nutritional directive with the efficiency and compassion of a drill sergeant. This is where caring nurses and/or healthcare support staff come in.

The poor guy looked like his world had turned upside down while en route to Hawaii and got drop-kicked butt-naked in Antarctica. No idea what to eat or where to buy it from, and his facial expression, had the doctor looked, would have melted steel. I enthusiastically informed him that there were tons of options now for a gluten-free diet, from restaurants to long grocery aisles filled with products that were tasty and satisfying. At least he didn’t look totally lost after I spoke to him.

I had no idea, however, that GF bread tasted like ‘nearly ugh on a plate.’ I hadn’t tried it back then.

There are always messy personal digestive reasons (or not) why someone opts for or is mandated a gluten-free diet. Look out for my next article, When Eating Becomes Difficult and You Wanna Smack the Guy Enjoying Pizza.

Just kidding (not really — sort of.)

“Why does gluten-free bread cost so much more than regular bread when it's less an ingredient?”

Centrifugation is the process by which gluten is removed from the wheat for GF bread products. A complicated labor-intensive process of adding water to flour separates the starch and other components from the gluten that is not water-soluble, and therefore, is left behind. Et voila! Gluten-free flour (more or less) and the justification for exorbitant pricing.

Gluten’s viscoelastic properties in bread improve dough strength, provide volume and structure, makes it soft, and extend its shelf-life. Wheat gluten contains protein (a vital macronutrient), improves product yield, and — WHO KNEW — makes bread taste like bread and not aerated Perspex rice cake that I smile and pretend to like.

Until now.

My first bite into an on-the-whim-try-a-different-even-more-expensive-gluten-free-bread advanced a moment of serendipitous jubilation. A humble, nondescript, miniature (GF bread selections always seem small — remember that gluten essentially pimp-magics your loaf of daily) unassuming slice that made it clear I had been making a grave error for years.

It’s only been a couple of weeks but Schär Gluten-Free White Loaf with sourdough, millet, and quinoa made a believer out of me with its rich savory taste, fluffier yet firm texture, and a hint of nutty aromatic quality. And to top it off, it’s completely vegan — no yucky egg whites here (no offense egg white lovers.)

My bread life been changed!

But maybe you already knew about this stuff or other selections and have been happily munching away without writing an article about it.

Or you may have an easy homemade recipe that is delicious, inexpensive, and easy to make.

That’s cool. You don’t owe us, gluten-free desperado seekers, anything, although it would be nice.

I got there in the end.

Informed others about my little GF win in all its glory.

More testimonial than promotional.

And just like that…there’s a bit more joy in the world.

And with all the old nameless, tasteless, GF leftover bread brands…gluten-free bird balls prolly being made by the ton.

(Previously published on Medium)

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