The Soy-wich

I have lived in fourteen different houses during my entire life. But I have this very vivid memory from my childhood that I have never written about before specifically that happened to take place in my parent's last rental house.

You know those bright memories from when you're around three to five years old that stand out for some reason? One of mine, in my parent's last rental house, was when I made my own sandwich when my mom was having a nap. Banana bread and soya sauce. Not your typical sandwich combination. You're probably thinking to yourself, "Who on Earth would put soya sauce on banana bread?" Well, five-year-old Chloe did.

My mom was taking a nap, but I was hungry. So little five-year old me, went to the kitchen and put together a banana bread and soya sauce sandwich. I remember being so proud of myself for making my own sandwich. I went ALL out, I put lettuce, and sandwich meat, and a processed cheese slice on my banana bread and soya sauce sandwich. I think there was also chocolate chips in the homemade banana bread. I do not know what I was thinking, but like I said, I was only five.

I think I basically wanted to combine my favourite things in one dish. I liked banana bread, I also liked soya sauce. I thought it made sense together? I don't actually know why I thought soya sauce could be used as a substitute for mayo, or butter, or mustard on a sandwich.

The Recipe goes as follows:

• Two slices of banana bread (not toasted) but it has to be soaked in soya sauce

• Kraft Singles Cheese slice (unwrapped of course)

• Sandwich meat

• Lettuce

• Put the two pieces together and voila.

_____________________________________

Once I had completed my masterpiece, I finally took a bite.....

And it was the most disgusting thing I have ever ate.

I immediately spit it out and threw the rest of the sandwich away.

I can still remember the way that sandwich tasted, even at twenty-eight years old. The most disgusting flavor combination you could ever imagine.

Around the same time I created my banana bread and soya sauce sandwich, I had also happened to have watched my first horror movie. You remember I said I was around three-five years old right?

Anyways, my mom's younger brother, happened to live with her around that time. (Pretty sure that's the reason why we had homemade banana bread at home as my uncle is a chef by trade.)

I woke up one night, and I couldn't fall back asleep. I had ventured out of my room and I discovered my uncle asleep on the couch with a movie playing in our living room. My uncle had rented a movie to watch with his girlfriend. But for some reason, I woke up that night, wandered out of my bedroom, and decided to watch the rest of the movie that was playing on the VCR in the living room with my sleeping uncle. I even fed him some cupcakes that I had found in the kitchen, while he was asleep. I can still remember him, half-asleep, inhaling the cupcakes that I was feeding him while he was asleep.

The best part? The movie that I happened to have watched with my sleeping uncle while I fed him cupcakes in his sleep?

It was the classic horror movie, Children Of The Corn (1984). If you are any kind of horror fan, you'll know which movie I am talking about. I watched a horror movie with my uncle, in his sleep, and fed him cupcakes while I was under five-years old. I still remember this too.

I eventually went back to bed when the movie ended. I don't remember much of the actual movie, but I can still see the credits rolling as well as the picture I have in my head of feeding my uncle the cupcakes in his sleep. However, could you imagine my mother's horror (literally) when I woke up the next morning, asking to watch "the corn movie" again?

I truly loved that rental house that we lived in. I have so many fond memories from living there. Between the "corn movie" and the "soy-wich", it's impossible to pick my favourite memory. But if I had to pick one, it was when we first moved into that house and I got to see my playroom empty without any toys in it.

I'm not going to lie, I do still think about that sandwich though. I feel as if it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I almost throw up every single time I think of it though. Really? Banana bread and soya-sauce? As a sandwich? I suppose maybe I was thinking that the sweet/savory combination made sense but *ugh* nope it did not work AT ALL.

Was it a restaurant quality sandwich? Probably not.

Was it childhood trauma worthy? Absolutely yes.

Would I serve it in a restaurant? Probably not.

Did it make a great story? Absolutely yes.

Thanks for reading.

Chloe Unfiltered