Everything In Moderation

It squished between my teeth and squashed down my throat to my belly, all soft and green and warm. My dad said it was safe to eat. He also said, afterward, that he had eaten so much of it once that he had hemorrhoids forever after. That didn't bode well, but too late was already too late by then. I didn't get hemorrhoids from it though. I was around ten or eleven years old, and I'd found it growing in the backyard. My dad called it poke sallet, but I've heard other names for it since then. Some people call it pokeweed, which is the name of the plant it comes from. Others call it poke greens, which makes sense if you've ever had turnip greens or anything like that. Still others call it poke salad, which is just another way of saying "sallet." You can call it whatever you like; just don't eat the berries.

But the thing about poke sallet is . . . well, the thing that might put you off of the whole idea and might make you decide not to eat it . . . is that you can't eat it raw, or at least you shouldn't. It's poisonous and, while it probably won't kill an adult in moderation, it certainly won't make you happy. If you cook it, though, and then drain off the water (not once, but twice), it actually tastes pretty nice. Like spinach, but like much better spinach than any spinach you've ever had. Similar to lamb's quarters, kind of, but you might not ever have had lamb's quarters either. So let's just say it's similar to spinach.

Now, just like all greens, in addition to having plenty of vitamins and whatnot, poke sallet is full of fiber. In fact, it pretty well is just fiber, mixed with a bit of poison for good measure. So if you're having trouble going to the bathroom, this stuff will help you solve that problem, pronto. If you're not having trouble, maybe you will be. And that's how my father ended up with hemorrhoids. Apparently, when he was in his twenties or thirties, his mom cooked a huge pot of it one day, and he ate most of it. And then he spent most of the rest of the next couple of days in the bathroom. Cleaned him right out. Unfortunately, it did a number on his innards along the way, and some of his innards became his outtards. Let this be a lesson to you, and a lesson to us all. Poke sallet is tasty, and it's good for a lot of what ails you, but they don't say "everything in moderation" for no reason. They are talking about poke sallet.

One more thing: I mentioned the berries earlier. The berries are very important, particularly the raw ones. Do not eat them. Under any circumstances. Especially don't allow your child to eat them, and probably not your pet either, depending on what kind of pet you have. Just a couple of berries from one of these plants have the potential to kill a young child. It's a tricky thing, because the berries look delicious. Check out the pictures I've posted. You see those berries and you think, "Man, I bet those berries are delicious. Surely I can just try one. Can't hurt anything, right?" Wrong. Don't eat them. Now I've heard tell that you can eat the berries cooked. I've never done it, and my father said not to. Remember, that's a warning coming from a man who ate so many of the cooked leaves that he got hemorrhoids. When a man like that tells you not to eat something, you listen. So maybe the Native Americans used to eat them to prevent or cure certain conditions. Maybe they did, and maybe they didn't. I say, "Better safe than sorry."

Here, look at that picture. Those are the deliciously enticing berries that you are not to eat. Pretend you never saw them. And if you happen to be down South some spring, go out back and gather yourself some poke sallet.