Elf Treats

I am the eldest daughter in a family of six, consisting of my parents, myself, and three younger brothers. Each of us kids is two years apart, starting with me, currently 18, then Andrew, currently 16, then Matthew, currently 14, and finally John, sweet, mischievous, little John, who is currently 12 (all pictured above). I feel the need to share these ages to illustrate a very drastic turnover in my childhood: learning the truth about Santa Claus.

I was eight years old, both a detective and a skeptic already. I found out just at the beginning of the Christmas season, and, without giving me any time to mourn the loss of my (then life) belief in magic, my mom immediately turned me into Santa’s helper. The title is not quite as fancy as it sounds, considering that “Santa’s Helper” really just meant that I had to move the Elf on the Shelf doll after my little brothers went to sleep and my mom decided she was far too tired for that.

A creative at heart, I loved the job, not quite realizing that my mom was motivated by somewhat disinterested laziness instead of a genuine desire for my second-grade ingenuity. Either way, I took pride in my creativity, setting up elaborate scenes just for the joy of seeing my little brothers’ jaws drop as they marveled at the elf’s antics. The elf, named Magic (groundbreaking name, I know), took selfies with our puppy, Piper, wrote notes chastising the boys for bad behavior, tossed toilet paper over our kitchen, dangled from light fixtures, and whipped up his very own treats.

“Elf treats” were my very own invention, inspired by my love for bananas and chocolate. The thing about healthy households is that, while you are afforded the privilege of growing up with few health complications and strong bones, you never really satisfy your sweet tooth. So kids who eat vegetables at every meal and play sports year-round find their own little ways to make the best of the utter lack of junk food at home.

One such way is eating chocolate chips, using them as some sad replacement for candy or cookies. To make your very own elf treats, you will need very few ingredients, one being vegan chocolate chips, which are surprisingly good for lacking such important ingredients in normal chocolate chips.

Eight-year-old me took my little handfuls of chocolate chips and set them on the counter, creeping around to make sure not to disturb anyone’s sleep, or worse, get caught red-handed and ruin Christmas for whatever unfortunate brother would spot me.

I took bananas and began slicing them into thin circles. I arranged these slices on a large plate and took to making my “dessert.” I placed a chocolate chip in the center of each one and gave it a small dusting of powdered sugar. The result was surprisingly delicious little morsels of banana and chocolate, the perfect snack for a sweet tooth without the time or desire to bake and eat elaborate desserts.

I carefully set the ceramic plate on the counter and wrote a scrawled note from Magic.

THESE R FOR MY FAVRIT KIDS, LUV MAGIC <3

The spelling was purposefully atrocious, something hilarious to my know-it-all little self. In retrospect, I’m not quite sure why I would devalue the elf’s intelligence so much. Sorry, Magic.

As a final touch, much to the irritation of my mom, I tossed a handful of powdered sugar onto the counter and made tiny little elf footprints through the stuff.

After my brothers discovered the scene in the morning and fawned over the treats (while I hid my smirk), elf treats became a family favorite, a treat to whip up after dinner or in between meals. It was then I learned that creativity is always more important than recipe, that something you create yourself will always feel more rewarding than managing to follow a set of instructions. Even if you never make an elf treat (which you totally should), consider playing around with your own recipes. Make mistakes, burn cookies, oversalt your vegetables. Experimentation breeds expertise, while unoriginality does not.

If you do find yourself wanting to follow some instructions if you’ve somehow come away from this story not quite knowing what elf treats are, feel free to follow this.

INGREDIENTS:

-Vegan chocolate chips of your choice

-One banana

-Powdered sugar

INSTRUCTIONS

-Slice the banana into circles

-Put a chocolate chip or two on there

-Sprinkle some powdered sugar, however much you desire

-That’s literally it, I did say it was uncomplicated

-Lie to a small child and tell them an elf made it