Crunchy Turkey Supreme Experiment

Alright, so my next writing prompt is: Write about something memorable you ate that you'd never find on a restaurant menu.

Hm, well, it may not be exactly what you asked for, but I'll do my best!

Enjoy!

Rain Dayze

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So, yesterday my neighbor, whom I call Kat, gifted me with two Crunch Wrap Kits. It was a strange gift, as I could easily buy one myself from either the grocery store or from Taco Bell, but nonetheless, I accepted it. With a grin on my face, I told my husband and brother about it. They jumped for joy and cheered, "God, we haven't had those in forever!"

Two things: One, I don't believe in wasting groceries, and two, I'm not an expert chef by any means.

Don't get me wrong, I can make several delicious meals, but creating something that is made with specific machinery and ingredients was a daunting feeling.

With the men in my life cheering me on, I searched my fridge for what I needed and got to work.

It's an all-in-one kit, I think to myself, so what could possibly go wrong?

Dear God, I should never have thought that. Why? Because a lot, in fact, went wrong!

The first unfortunate thing happened when I opened the kits. Which, evidently, had been smashed and opened by someone prior to Kat giving it to me. In her defense, the two kits were in a sealed reusable shopping bag, and her grandbabies love to screw around with things.

I brushed it off as bad luck and continued with my culinary experiment with gusto!

First, I browned two pounds of ground turkey (the recipe called for one pound of hamburger meat per kit, but I love how cheap turkey is, and I intended to make both kits, so I just went with it).

About half-way through the cooking process, I poured both taco seasoning packets into the meat, plus I poured some excess diced tomato juice into it as well (for some reason, there's always too much juice in that stuff), then I finished cooking it, and set it to the side while I prepared everything else.

The cheese sauce came in handy packets, which didn't require special treatment, so that was a big yay moment for me!

Once I pre-heated my countertop toaster oven, I heated the tostadas (note on the package it said not to heat them in a toaster oven, or the product could catch on fire), for less than thirty seconds to prevent 'burning'.

After that was done, I grabbed the rest of my ingredients, beginning the long and annoying assembly process (fun fact: I used to work for Taco Bell back in the day), which was tedious and gave me flashbacks to busy lunch hours.

Unfortunately, the picture of the tortillas was not available. Sorry, folks!

Just a side note, Mind the various sized containers. I tend to buy a lot of Tupperware, and I'm aware that it's a problem.

Alright, the next stage was the most daunting: folding the stupid thing into an octagon so that it looked like a 'Crunch Wrap' (fun fact, I hated this part of my job back then, and I did when I remade them this time too), and therefore, easier to cook.

So far so good. But then, I began to fold it, and that's when the second unfortunate thing happened.

Yeah, my folding skills were really rusty. Behold, when it was cooked in a skillet with oil:

Cooking didn't save the poor thing! How freaking tragic! But then, after several attempts, I finally made the 'perfect' fold!

Hallelujah! The thing finally looked like a real 'Crunch Wrap', well, sort of. Note how mostly evenly that golden brown is on the top. It made me cry when I saw it.

After the first kit was completed, I felt good. Almost as if I were invincible in the kitchen! And, as if on cue, the third thing happened.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a photo available for this either, as I was so freaking angry that I began breaking old dishes and screaming like a banshee. This was at 3:00 AM, by the way.

When I peeked into the second kit, I found the packet of tortillas to be ripped in half. No, not ripped, I guess, more like folded poorly in a way that tore them apart at the seams. I screamed, then I cried, and then I broke things.

My husband, being the patient and sweet man he was, walked up behind me and gave me a warm, soul-crushing hug. He told me, "Rain, it's okay. You did your best. We have a few tortillas in the fridge if you want to keep making the kit. If not, we'll still enjoy it! You always make the best food!"

Something healed in me when he said that. Almost as if my heart and soul needed to know it was okay that I tried something different.

Once he broke our embrace, I salvaged our dinner (technically breakfast) as best I could. By making the remaining ingredients into crunchy grilled burritos.

At this point, my phone battery died, so there were no photos of those either! Aren't I such an evidence tease?

Finishing up, my advice to everyone out there who heard about these kits: don't buy them! Price-wise they might be cheaper than the ingredients individually, and thank God I didn't buy them, but the quality is subpar at best. Plus, if you buy the stuff separately, you can control the calories and other nutritional macros as well!

That's all for now,

Bon appetite!

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