Crocodile Feast

Everyone knows that a smile makes the world go round. It’s true! A smiling bride always looks beautiful. Strings of smiles connect and brighten our days. During COVID, masks weakened that social connection. How wonderful to again enjoy showering smiles as we go on our way.

Of course there’s always an exception… “Never smile at a crocodile!” What wise advice! Whilst both smiles might be genuine, one definitely hides vested interests. There’s a time to ditch etiquette and this is it! Forget the smile! As the song below sings, “Don't be taken in by his welcome grin. He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin.” Not my idea of a fun way to go… main course on a crocodile’s menu!

During my time living in tropical Far North Queensland, (Australia), this stance stood me in good stead… I’m alive and well, having resisted the wiles of crocodiles. However, during that time — on one memorable occasion — the tables and menus did turn.

“What’s for dinner?” This time, the dreaded and oft repeated question returned a surprising answer… “Crocodile!”

Hilarious! As if!

But…

No twinkle lurked in Chris’ eyes. Two thousand km from home, our visitor was treating us to a home cooked gourmet meal. Surely he was joking, this time? But no! Food was no joking matter. Crocodile, it was.

He and his lovely wife had checked out various popular local tourist attractions such as crystal clear waterfalls; golden beaches and islands surrounded by the gorgeous Great Barrier Reef. However, less frequented by travellers was their bucket list’s leading attraction… the local crocodile farm. Five minutes’ drive from our home, we’d never visited nor ever planned to.

After touring the farm, they purchased several crocodile steaks for that night’s dinner… as you do! This memorable meal was served up almost four decades ago, so the exorbitant price/kg has long been lost from my memory bank. Truth be told, I have a perplexing capacity or lack of it for retaining numbers of any kind! I do recall the croc steaks were treble or quadruple the current price of premium T-bone steaks (considered a luxury in those days).

Being way back in primitive days — before the Internet and its sidekick Mr Google — recipes and cooking advice was not readily available at a finger swipe across a glowing screen.

Instead, Chris had carefully quizzed the staff at the crocodile farm on cooking techniques and recipes. That night the cramped, stuffy kitchen was gladly vacated to allow Chris’s undivided attention to focus on the unusual cuisine.

I strongly suspect I hightailed it off and out to walk my beloved black Labrador, Jasper. Not much topped that experience and cooking never stood a chance!

On our return, Chris served up a beautifully prepared course of gently steamed crocodile steaks the size of the palm of my hand. A tangy orange sauce added much needed flavour… or was it lime or lemon? I do know for a fact it was some sort of citrus sauce. I suspect steamed veggies or a salad accompanied the fancy meat. Crocodile steaks were the star attraction, not their accompaniment.

After giving thanks, we tentatively tucked in… chewed, considered and chewed some more.

“Well, what do you think?” Chris asked curiously. His suspense lasted until our plates were clean as whistles, not due to churlish behaviour but attempting to arrive at a verdict.

“It’s a bit like chicken in texture… but more chewy, with far less taste.” Without the sauce, it would have been like eating expensive digestible, rubber! Thank goodness he didn’t empty his wallet to serve up T-Bone sized croc steaks!

Looking back, smiles are wonderful to exchange however, I still believe it’s best for all concerned if crocodiles to keep theirs to themselves!

Written for the challenge below. Above is the song: “Never Smile At A Crocodile.”

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