A Social Satire Recipe "Rice and Beans Unsurprising"

Possibly a Vegan recipe!

"Rice and Beans Unsurprising"

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Mmm...

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Food!

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Picture the scene.

It is extremely late.

You are VERY tired.

You are so dead beat tired that is MIGHT be a better idea if you avoid using the gas stove!

You have a full day in the morning, that starts super early!

You need some hot food quickly.

Here is my CHEAP recipe for you, that can be made in a microwave in under 10 minutes WITHOUT needing much concentration.

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You will need

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Tin of Some own brand Kidney beans

Leftover own-brand wall-nuts

A sachet of some own-brand microwave rice

Some own-brand Soya sauce

Some own-brand Olive oil

(USA translation, Own-brand = Store brand!)

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Method

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1)

Open the tin of own-brand kidney beans and drain

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2)

Get a large microwavable bowl and run under the tap to make the inside damp.

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3)

Pour a little olive oil into the bowel then drain excess back over the own-brand kidney beans in the colander.

You do not want to waste such expensive oil!

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4)

Empty own brand microwavable sachet of own-brand sachet rice into the bowel

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5)

Now place the own-brand beans on top

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6)

Add soy sauce and extra olive oil to preferred taste

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Note:

This is why the recipe is only described as "Possibly Vegan" because I have no idea if Soy Sause is vegan or not!

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7)

Microwave on full power for 3 mins

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8)

Add leftover own-brand wall-nuts

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8)

Stir

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9)

Microwave for a further 3 mins

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10)

Stir again

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11)

Eat!

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12)

Pretend to yourself that life "is not so bad",

While you try and swallow this bland crap!

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Tip.

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Cooking rice from fresh may seem at first, seem to be a lot cheaper.

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However, you have to balance this against the cost of boiling that much water on the stove.

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And against the "Time" or "Opportunity cost" if you are already exhausted from a long shift of underpaid hard work and just want to get to bed now.

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Yum!

(NOT!)

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I am not a vegan myself,

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just skint.

(USA translation Skint = Broke!)

Any meat I can afford is given to the kids instead

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Cheers for the Austerity 2020!

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Every morning when my duvet is really stinky from all the beans and high fibre farts

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I will think of you!

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Now, Someone, Somewhere, tell me again why my anger is a little too unreasonable at times!

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BEFORE YOU THINK OF GOING THERE!

(Yeh, know where I mean!)

(That posh game where a posh person plays a little bit of)

("Let us blame the less well off,")

("For being less well off")

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NO!

NOT all poor people are criminals!

I am NOT a criminal,

Yet.

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For now, I consider myself a good and honest person

BUT

If things got bad enough,

I will resort to serious crime long before I ever resort to begging!

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Of course, this is only hypothetical

But “if” I was ever was to fall so far from personal grace as to ever become criminal

I would not be some just some mere local skutter picking on helpless victims

(Posh person translation, Skutter = Underclass, Breadline or 'E2' Economic Bracket!)

There is more than one type of being so-called "Aspirational"

I am no coward!

Personal pride would make me do something with only a 50% chance of survival

Because there would still be enough of the “old me” left to know that an “Evil” version of me is NOT worth keeping alive!

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PS,

An EXTRA Skint tip,

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Use up leftover cold chips by adding mayonnaise and other relevant stuff to jerry-rig up a potato salad for next days lunch!

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