The Worst Day in My Family's Life

I don't know what to write about but I'm just gonna say what the hell is on my mind. So I wrote this in the memory of my Aunt Amy Lou Chaffin - Vulgamore. May her memory Rest In Peace.

My aunt recently passed away. She had terminal cancer and died in our home. She was 58 when she died. That day was the first time I have ever seen my grandmother cry, along with seeing a dead body. At least I never posted the body on the internet (Logan Paul reference). I couldn't imagine the pain my grandma was in when she watched her own child be put on that stretcher. Before she got sick everything was great, and she moved into our house to live with us three years ago. Her husband had just died and she couldn't afford her townhome on her own. She loved being around us kids (me and my three brothers) and wanted to spend more time with us. We never knew her time would be cut short.

My aunt was always home; she was on disability and had retired from home health care. She would be home while we worked. I live with two autistic siblings and she was always there to make sure they were okay. I worked at a gas station and had early mornings like 3 AM to noon. I didn't have my license at the time, so she would come and get me from work. I remember her telling me stories and telling me when she was my age she was out more. At this point, you're probably like why is she telling us about how her aunt was and why is she talking about this? Well, let me explain...

My aunt passed away at 12:15 PM on December 30, 2017. I was the one who found her and pronounced her dead. How do I know she died? Well in high school, I went to a career center for health education and wanted to become a medical assistant. My dad at the time was going to nursing school. So I had a pair of stethoscopes and so did my dad. I knew where all the pressure points where so I can tell if there was a heartbeat. I grabbed my stethoscope since I couldn't find a pulse and tried to see if she had a faint heartbeat. There was nothing... I had just lost my aunt. But to make sure I called my father and he came home to do the same things that I did.

Her favorite place to go to and see again was Paris. So when the terrorist attacked Paris, she was heartbroken. She looked at me and said, "I remember walking those streets and looking up at the Eiffel Tower. The city was so beautiful, why would someone destroy it?" I could tell she was hurt. I promised her I would take her to see that beautiful city once again.

"La vie est belle" meaning "Life is Beautiful. She did live a wonderful life. She never had children, she could never give birth. She watched us grow up and was proud of us. She was there for me when I needed her the most. She taught me how to bake and how to cook. She had a kind heart. I still cry when I think of her. She was my mom's sister. They were just starting to get on good terms. She calls my grandmother every day like my aunt used to do.

My brother Shawn is affected as much as us now. He is starting to accept the fact she is gone. She gave him her car and her husband's workout equipment. His Twin brother Chris, however, is Autistic and knows she has gone. He knows she isn't coming back home. Trevor who is the youngest and is also Autistic knows she is gone but he asks questions about heaven and hell. He asked me why is there a place determining if our lives were good and bad? Why can't there be a place for people that just want to be around loved one who has also died? With that, I told him we won't know until we die.

Grief is one thing that hurts the most. I have begun to accept the fact that she would want all of us to move on. She was one of the people in my life I would look up to. If you have someone you know that is going through grief, just remember. Give them time. It is hard and respect that they want peace and respect that they just want to be happy. If they are crying, let them cry. Comfort them as much as you can. Don't hold it all in; that will kill you the most.