The Heated Debate

This is a very tender topic to some.

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I ask the question: How do you forget a child or an animal? I feel it is a legitimate question asked by those who feel strong emotions when we read or hear about another death or another rescue.

The feeling of wondering how anyone could forget a living being fuels anger and on the onset of questions leaning more towards accusations than empathy. The news of yet another child is devastating and even more so for the parents it effected, but how on earth could you forget your child?

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Recently, I read an article about someone who posed this very same question. They were also confused and questioned how someone could forget a child. It should be your most prized possession—above any valuable you own. However, it wasn't taken by the readers in the manner in which the writer intended. The tone was wrong. Or people were very defensive about something that could happen to anyone. After the article, the comments were heated. The crowd grew and condemned the writer for an atrocious article, calling the writer judgmental, along with many other choice words.

I too am judgmental. I am this way because I don't understand.

My road to accepting this horrible tragedy is long.

I believe I came across this article to open my eyes—to help me understand why and how anyone could leave a child or animal in a car when it is hot outside, (or anytime given the risks of heatstroke or even kidnapping).

I read comments agreeing with the writer. I read comments not agreeing with the writer. People linked articles explaining the science of why and how. People recanted their times when they were beyond tired and how they nearly forgot their children. Some left tips—things they do so they wouldn't forget.

In the eyes of some of those readers, the articles, the science-based facts, the psychology of it all, gave insight that it could happen to anyone. Some proclaimed it wasn't a matter of if it happened, but when.

A few mothers offered advice on how to curb the tragedies by giving more information to new parents about the dangers—stating some people are just not aware of the risks. Their comments made sense to me. Their views were valid, just as the question of how someone could do such a thing was valid.

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My opinion lies here: I have been tired. I have driven home/to work nodding off, swerving, and trying desperately to stay awake. I've driven to places and realized I didn't have the memory of actually driving there. I've left items at home. I've left items in my car. I have forgotten things. However, I am not a parent. I do not have the ability to have children. I was a nanny to multiple children for six years, while caring for one family of two children in that time span. I was their nanny from the ages of five and one year old. I took them everywhere. I took them when I was tired, agitated, and absent-minded. I suppose I never left them in a vehicle because they were not mine so a separate degree of safety was upon me.

I was overly neurotic about the children I cared for because I loved them, but I also loved being a nanny and I didn't want to lose the responsibility. No one was hurt on my watch. But I am not a parent. I got to go home—reset myself so I could come back refreshed. I wasn't constantly stressed.

Perhaps I shouldn't have a say in the matter. Perhaps no one with children should because we wouldn't understand. Maybe the judgment, if any, should lie between those who have kids and struggle to do all they can to keep them safe.

My thought is also this: In a world where many of us are tied to our phones, are we more susceptible to forgetting our children? Are we too focused on the next notification? Are we so involved that we forgot to be involved in the life we gave?

Sometimes I look around and all I see are faces gazing down at a screen. What's ironic is one of those people may be reading an article or watching the news on how another person's child died in a car all while their own children beg to be held or given some breath of attention.

I suppose I am still angry. I am still confused. I write this and I try to gain perspective, grasp some sort of reasoning, and end on some profound thought, but I am not quite there. I feel there's a growing majority who are not quite there. I long to find someone who can give me a better insight as to why, because while ranting gives me some sort of gratification, I leave with a general concern, confusion, and the question a lot of people want to know who are angered by the rising numbers of heat-related deaths—how could you forget your child?

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Lilian is a writer of all things, a lover of animals, and an outdoor enthusiast. Her passions lie in singing, writing, and making others laugh. She enjoys time with her semi-famous dog, Einstein and her friends and family who swear she's a rock star. Lilian writes about her past, her present, and how she keeps it together. If you would love to learn more, you can find all you need to know at her website located in her bio.

Thank you for reading.