grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
Old Men and their ways
The house was quiet. There was a time when that quiet was unbearable with the weight of what was missing, and the memories of the past added to my pain. But as with all things, I got used to it. Shuffling around the house doing my daily chores was calming in a way. At least it broke the quiet that lurked around every corner waiting for me to let my guard down. Take a shower, put on clothes, eat, wait for the nurse, exercise, eat, take a shower, go to sleep. That is my life, every day the same routine. I swear if you look hard enough you can see the path I take through the house every day in the carpet. There are some hallways I avoid, not because of any bumps or steps that could fell an old man like me, but because of the faces on the wall that stare at me, forever smiling, laughing about jokes long gone. I can’t see them and be reminded of what I have lost, especially today.
By Mauro J Maldonado5 years ago in Families
What the Worst Day Looks Like
A quiet house April 20, 2016, started differently. I woke up around 6:45 to a silent house. My husband, Patrick, either ran or rode his bicycle every morning before work. He left while I was still sleeping. I would occasionally wake up briefly, but sometimes I slept through it entirely. He usually left around 5:45 and returned by 6:30 or a little after. I thought it was odd, but I had a conference call at 7:00, and I needed to get ready for it.
By Danell Boyles TeNyenhuis Black5 years ago in Families
The complexities of widowhood
Widows of yesteryear wore what was referred to as Widow's weeds. They wore black veils over their faces and were in mourning for whatever was considered a respectable period of time. Dressing in black does not indicate that a woman truly loved or is missing her husband and not wearing black is no indication of the opposite. I wore a white suit with blue blouse to my husband's funeral because he was dressed in a white suit with a blue shirt. This would be the last time our physical bodies would ever dress alike in this world.
By Cheryl E Preston5 years ago in Families
Leavings of Joy and Sorrow
Marlo had closed the house and gone on a soul-cleansing trip after the funeral. Her brother had protested–a little– but had eventually agreed that there was nothing inside that needed her immediate attention. The place had been cleaned before receiving after-service guests and again after everyone had left.
By Paula Shablo5 years ago in Families
Passages
I write a blog. I keep a journal. I do it to stay sane, and sometimes refer to passages as my bitch-fests. As I scrolled through some of last year's work, I found this post, and thought I would share it. In some ways, we have progressed since this was first written. In others, well-- this little post emphasizes how far we still have to go.
By Paula Shablo5 years ago in Families
Tears
As the leaves fell so did the tears I felt for you. I remember you and I cry in agony knowing you will never return. You left me behind just like these leaves on the pavement. As they fly away I feel you flowing away more and more distant.Losing you was the worst pain I ever felt in my life.My best friend, my dragon, my love the one and only who truly understood me and never judged me because I was different. You taught me to embrace my wild side, my sensitive side. You taught me to be kind to people, even the ones that dont deserve it. Your laugh will never be forgotten but remembered and celebrated. You showed me love and what it's like to be loved in return. You taught me to be strong and to never give up. I wish I was there to pick you up when you were down and alone. I wish I could just hold you in my arms just once and tell you how amazing you are. As these tears flow from my eyes I remember your laugh and your warm kinded heart. Your smile bright as the sun as you walked into the room, and your presence which couldnt be ignored.
By Denise Ferreira5 years ago in Families
When the tears won’t stop
I recall that in the 1980’s a neighbor had a stroke and died. One of graduation daughters still lived at home and took it pretty hard. For about 6 months on 3 or 4 random occasions this young woman would let out a wail in church and cry. I felt so bad for her and several times I would go and give her a hug. She obviously loved her mother and was heartbroken over her death. I’ve always been one who easily got over death and moved on. This was true of my brother, mother, and grandmother. I loved them but did not have a relationship where their deaths weighed heavily on my mind.
By Cheryl E Preston5 years ago in Families
Movies
Firsts: Movies We all have a few movies that bring out tears, you know they’re coming, but you watch it anyway, it’s a healthy cry, it sweeps the cob webs from your soul, it’s memories of moments long ago, of what we considered better days. Not knowing the future, our references are slim, devoid of what we haven’t or can’t see.
By Gregory Dolan Dies5 years ago in Families
Seasons Changing
The spring I was seven the couch sat against the window in our front room. With the blinds open you could see out into the road that led to our driveway. I had been sitting there watching the road for hours, waiting for any sign that she was coming home. The house was still, it always was when my dad was this mad and my little brother was smart enough not to provoke him. There I sat, cloaked in the silence hugging that same tear-soaked blue cotton pillow I had held onto many times before. Even at that age I knew what she was doing. I knew she would not be home for days, weeks, or possibly months. If my little heart could have willed anything, it would have been her pulling up in the driveway. Maybe she had just gone out for groceries like other normal moms did. That wasn’t the case though, so I sat on that couch by the window looking out onto the street, letting my tears soak that blue cotton pillow.
By Megan Traina5 years ago in Families
