Danell Boyles TeNyenhuis Black
I began writing after my late husband's death in 2016. I created a blog, My Life After Patrick to write about my experience and how I was moving forward. In the five years since then I have finished my Masters in Counseling and remarried.
A Sense Of Purpose Improves Mental Health
"A life void-of-purpose is no life at all" ― Iain Cameron Williams When my husband died, I was able to take a significant amount of time off work. Initially, I had no responsibilities other than caring for myself and my two daughters, ages 17 and 19. I was aware that there was a dark abyss of sadness and grief waiting to swallow me.
When Grief Interrupts Your Perfectly Planned Life
Patrick has been gone for 1,581 days. I’ve only seen him in videos and pictures. Some days it seems like just yesterday, and on others, it feels like an eternity. Over the years, I have shared the ups and downs of my journey.
My Dead Husband Mooned Me
April 20th marked five years since my husband Patrick left for his early morning bike ride and never returned home. I try to write something each year to talk about my changes in perspective. This year I am adding some random thoughts and memories.
Dear Google Voice, I Need To Have A Word With You!
Dear Google, As a mental health counselor, my employer advised me to set up a Google Voice phone number. I don't mind giving out my personal cell phone number but it's against company policy so I set up a Google account.
You Should Never Drive The Kids To School In Your Pajamas!
When my daughters were in elementary school, we lived 1/2 mile from their school. Technically, we were close enough for them to walk or ride bikes, but we usually dropped them off.
The Time My Wardrobe Malfunctioned During An Interview
There was a distinct popping sound and I suddenly realized the ‘girls’ were free. In 1993 I had a series of misfortunes. I lost my teaching position at a small non-profit school when they ran out of funding. Shortly after that, I had an incident involving an avocado and a knife. I lost.
What the Worst Day Looks Like
A quiet house April 20, 2016, started differently. I woke up around 6:45 to a silent house. My husband, Patrick, either ran or rode his bicycle every morning before work. He left while I was still sleeping. I would occasionally wake up briefly, but sometimes I slept through it entirely. He usually left around 5:45 and returned by 6:30 or a little after. I thought it was odd, but I had a conference call at 7:00, and I needed to get ready for it.
One Hometown — Alternate Realities
He never really felt he belonged, except on the team. And they called him a “Token.” A few years ago, I watched the movie McFarland, USA. The film is about a cross-country team in a mostly agricultural, small town in the San Joaquin valley. The McFarland Boys Cross Country team won the first annual California State Cross Country Championship in 1987.