My Adopted Sisters and My Husband in Recovery

I woke with a mask on my face and I was strapped down, unable to move. My daughter was there, and my husband and three lifelong friends stood by my bed.

Before I knew who was near me, the tears started to flow. I thought I was being tortured. They put me back under only after I heard my friend Felicia say, "You will be okay! We are here with you and we love you!" I recognized her voice and I relaxed.

I wasn't ready to come off the respirator just then.

When I did, I didn't remember being married to the man in the room. He was familiar, but I thought I was married to my husband who was a respiratory therapist.

My daughter said I was confused as the respiratory therapist working with me looked like my last husband. I have been married three times. It was a terrible experience to wake up and not know my husband.

Thankfully that didn't last long at all! I told him about it and I think he understood. It was an awful experience when I think about it even now.

I also accused him of leaving me to die as he left for the bathroom, not knowing I was coding. He just knew my buzzers were buzzing and a nurse came to help. He thought that would be a good time to go to the bathroom. He does not think that is funny when I bring that up!

My husband was with me through everything and I thank God for him all of the time! My oncologist told us that many marriages break up when a partner has cancer as it is so difficult to go through as a caregiver.

My husband has long-term recovery from addiction also and having that in common is great as well.

My friends of 30+ years at the time and my daughter, who was in her late 30s, were all so familiar and comforting to me. Later I laughed thinking about how my husband had to deal with these strong women who are all a bit on the bossy side!

My daughter told me "Mom, I was so scared as I arrived they were running you down the hallway as you had coded. There was nothing I could do! I called your friends and they showed up."

The woman who cleaned my room in the hospital told me that she heard I was the worst code that they had on that floor. I wondered what that meant but didn't want to know. I know I have died and that they brought me back.

My time wasn't up. And thankfully I had special family to be there with me. Like, now I have my sisters of the Y. They have all had cancer before and we support each other. We have been getting together for years now. We talk about life. Everything from our health, family, work, and play.

When we get together we both laugh and cry together. The place we will have lunch at has a broasted chicken special, and most recently they serve a dessert of jello cake with it. We went to our houses but ended up back at the broasted chicken place.

We met at a cancer support group called LiveStrong.

The sisters that were there for me at the hospital I still talk to regularly, but I don't see them as much as I would like. We got into recovery from addiction over 43 years ago now, and I knew one of them for several years before that.

Another sister, I inherited from my biological sister. We were both there for each other when her daughter died at the same time that my sister was dying. I stood in for family that couldn't be there. Her family included my sister.

I have other recovery sisters that I talk to and stay in touch with. When we get together it is like no time has gone by as we can catch up in no time at all. We too laugh and cry easily together.

I am so very grateful for recovery. I have learned so much about myself and have been able to change to be a better person. I told my husband just today how grateful I am for my recovery.

I talked with my brother-in-law today who just won his battle with cancer. We both agreed that we could easily die from something other than cancer as we are both cancer-free for now. After our experience, we have found we are okay with dying.