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Infidelity: make amends or break up

What happens when infidelity occurs?

By Sal ToriPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
Infidelity: make amends or break up
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Another word for adultery, cheating, cheating, or an affair is infidelity. Infidelity is the greatest sin and disgrace to the person you love. Crude infidelity can be a spontaneous act of filth or a one-night stand, usually involving an unknown third party and your guilty spouse, and it can still be as painful as hell. In some relationships, infidelity can leave many couples living under the same roof, mentally separated from each other, and permanently emotionally disconnected. This preemptive event happens the day you discover that your spouse is acting differently and weirdly, saying untrue things, being dishonest, and lying. That was the day you lost all trust in your partner and things were never the same again. Causing pain to your partner through betrayal is one of the hardest problems to solve, and it causes irreversible damage to your marriage to the point where the roof of your relationship caves in, the walls crumble under the pressure, and everything falls. Infidelity is a real deal breaker that not only loses your partner's trust, but is detrimental to any relationship because two things usually happen after the dust settles, divorce and then marriage, and single life replaces a committed relationship.

What happens after infidelity occurs?

Three definite situations occur after the consequences of a relationship.

Stage 1. Spouses in this stage are very emotionally intense and they spend a lot of time withdrawn, lonely and crying. Feeling hurt and angry, they blame themselves for what has happened. They constantly overthink their character and self-worth, and they spend hours analyzing their partner's motives for infidelity. Lacking sleep and exhaustion from stress, spouses usually experience mood swings over and over, like waves lapping at the ocean, high and low, over and over again. Over time, the intensity of the mood swings diminishes and then abates, feelings and emotions become more tolerable, and life returns to normal.

Stage 2. The innocent spouse experiences much less emotional trauma at this point and tries to piece together the betrayal. In this stage, the spouse may confront the guilty partner and ask about the affair or withdraw completely from all contact, or secretly seek information about the affair from others.

Stage 3. In this stage, the guilty partner apologizes and is accepted by the innocent spouse. The couple decides to continue the relationship and agrees to let their marriage work out. In this final stage, the couple will attempt to make the marriage go on and form a new friendship. A binding commitment is also made that guarantees the success of the marriage and eventually, over time, all love, trust, and forgiveness will be restored.

Long after infidelity has occurred, you may find yourself questioning your partner often, asking about their comings and goings. Don't lose focus, have faith, be strong, and there is still hope for your relationship.

Here's some information you can use to show whether your partner's love and affection for you are honorable and trustworthy.

1. Your partner's heartfelt confessions and apologies seem to be genuine.

2. Your partner insists on openly discussing the infidelity.

3. Your partner takes full responsibility for the affair.

4. Your partner shows you love and affection.

5. Your partner is eager to provide counseling.

6. Your partner shows deep shame and guilt about the betrayal.

Completely stop all contact with the guilty homewrecker and your partner.

The relationship can make considerable progress if both parties agree to commit to discussions to resolve their marital problems. Although, if your spouse is not showing you the love or respect you truly deserve, or doing any of the numbers listed above, throw them under the bus and get out of the relationship. Another tip is if your partner is acting suspiciously or not showing love, or seems isolated and emotionally all-consuming. Don't hesitate to unplug from the relationship immediately. One last tip, maybe your partner works long hours, comes home late, makes secret phone calls, sly texts, and sneaky emails, or goes out alone a lot. If one or all of the tips mentioned above happen regularly, your partner is probably having an affair behind your back. If you find any evidence of betrayal, dissolve the marriage. Any marital relationship that is not based on love, honesty, or truth should cease to exist. Keep a close eye on your partner's behavior and intentions long after the infidelity has occurred to make sure they are with you for the right reasons and not going back to the old ways of infidelity.

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About the Creator

Sal Tori

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one has learned in school.

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    Sal ToriWritten by Sal Tori

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