Parenting Wars

Complete and utter denial--that’s what I was in when the pediatrician told me in January 2019 that my then 15-month-old girl twin, Joules, was farsighted in her right eye and needed to be seen by an ophthalmologist. The pediatrician had just done a standardized vision screening (normally performed at that age) that revealed the initial results. I remember telling myself that the doctor’s assessment was probably just off and that the eye doctor would tell us that everything was okay. I mean, Joules had always acted like she could see perfectly. So, there had to be a mistake, right?

After our not even 3-year-old twin toddlers wore their face masks for roughly 5 hours straight while we flew cross-country recently, I knew our pandemic travel experience was successful. But we didn’t just slap the masks on their faces that same day without first figuring out how to make them follow the airport/airlines’ face mask-wearing rules. We were STRATEGIC! And our strategy led to two little kids complying with the rules from start to finish.

Learn to tell your kid no. No, they cannot have that cookie. No we can’t go inside. Teach them how to deal with rejection, with failure. Teach them to LOSE. Why? So they learn how to build character, gumption and class. Yes class. It takes class to have someone yell in your face and you tactfully tell them to go to hell, so they actually look forward to the trip. They need to learn that the world does NOT revolve around them and their bubble. Their art isn’t the most magnificent thing you’ve ever seen, and their face isn’t made for tv, its made for radio. Sound too harsh? Please let me explain...

Generally speaking, the world would be a better place if people were kinder to each other. If all parents raised their children to help, the new generation would be the most compassionate yet. Bringing up a kind child means that you have to take the opportunity to shape your child as they grow. This desire has many parents searching for easy tips for teaching children kindness.

Many adults realize that only if their parent were supportive enough, they could have done a lot more than they can even imagine today.

If you are reading this and happen to personally know me, you may want to consider not reading this article. I am writing this both to vent my heart out and prepare new moms for things that you really don't think about being a problem until it is one. I am also writing this with uncensored, raw emotion and no holding back.

I’m not a big fan of TikTok. I’m 42. It’s not that technology confuses me, I’m from the generation that went from analogue tapes and spin-dial telephones to digital streaming and iPhones in just over a decade; adapting to technological change is in my blood.

Being a parent to a child with special needs is a daunting task. It is never an easy job to care for someone all day every day, and there are going to be days that seem like they will never end.

Read with your child. Your child will love it. Show your child that reading is important to you.